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At the workplace
June 2, 2010
5:44 pm
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Slient Jaguar
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September 30, 2010
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I was hired to work at my workplace almost two months ago. I am working in a group of 14 co workers in the unit. I finally see the true colors of these co workers.

There is a mole or two mole co-workers in my group that does like to cause problems with our co workers. I feel that I am the weak link because I am still learning new things and is the most recent new co worker at the workplace. The mole co worker appears he does not like me. He have made negative comments about me. He spoke verbally abusing to me, "you don't do right job and you need a new brain." I don't want us lead to a problem. I made a positive joke, "I said yeah, I rather keep my brain, just need a tune-up." I tried to comfort him to be positive. I tried to turn his negative comments into positive comments, so we can get along. I want to show a good impression for my supervisor and be able to pass my 90 days.

The mole co worker seems getting negative around me because I am chosen to be a weak link in the group. I think we do have a second mole co worker, but this second mole co worker seems so considerable around me. He offers to help me to make my job right with the customers. He flirts a bit over instant messager. I don't have any problems with the second mole co worker. He appears try to take me on his side.

How can I stay out of this game at the workplace? I don't want to be someone's side against others in the group. How I can remove myself as a weak link in the group?

Any suggestions would be helpful. Many thanks.

June 4, 2010
6:56 pm
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chinadoll
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September 24, 2010
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Hi SJ,

Why consider yourself the "weak link" just because you are new?

I understand the wanting to fit in, but who says you have to play their games? These dynamics could have been already in place before you even started to work there.

The guy with the negative attitude could just be a very unhappy person, and would say those things to any new person, whether it is you or somebody else.

I would never allow someone to verbally abuse me at work. I would politely stand up for myself and let him know that those types of comments are not tolerated. You would not be getting in trouble, I am sure if your supervisor heard what he said, the supervisor would not tolerate it either.

Don't let this man bully you. If you allow him to treat you like this, he will always see you as the scapegoat, and you will always see yourself as the "weak link". He will blame you for everything that goes wrong, and that will wreck your confidence at work.

Just because you all work together does not mean that you all have to be friends. You all do need to be able to work together and get along in a professional manner, but that is all.

Whenever I have started a job at a new place, I tell myself that I am there to get paid to do a job that I was hired to do. I am not there to make friends or socialize or chit-chat. I am there to work.

Yes, we might go to lunch together sometimes, or see each other after work for a bite to eat, but sometimes we still don't have to be friends to do that, just co-workers.

there are some people I will work with that I will get along with better than others, there are some people I will actually become friends with. I am very careful of who I consider a friend. I would have to trust that person more than just working on a project together. I have car-pooled to work with some people, and still not consider them a friend. To me, it all has to do with trust.

But my main focus is that I am there to do a job, to learn my job as best I can, and everything else that happens is just extra.

If I were you, I would be very careful about this co-worker that is flirting with you on IM. I make it a rule for myself to never date or flirt with other men at work (I have a boyfriend anyway), but I have never dated or flirted with anyone I work with. It can lead to a lot of drama. If things go wrong, he might not be willing to help you anymore. Or if you guys date and break up, you still have to see him at work every day.

You can do whatever you want, but this has always been my own rule. I've seen too many situations that end up badly in that area.

I work with almost all men, and I have, for almost all the jobs that I have ever had. I just look to them like they are my brothers...no matter how nice and good-looking they are.

Good luck.

June 6, 2010
2:20 pm
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Poetry
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FOCUS IS KEY!!!!

DONT CONSIDER YOURSELF AS THE WEAK LINK. FOCUS ON YOUR JOB AND NOT YOUR CO WORKERS BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY NOBODY IS PAYING YOUR BILLS BUT YOU.

June 6, 2010
9:26 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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September 27, 2010
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I agree with poetry. although i recently had an incident with a coworker and a supervisor both bearing down on me. I almost could say they were bullying me. Finally i stood up for myself and said, hey i am very intellgient and spoke of my good qualities and the contributions and extra stuff i had done. then i made some demands of myself. One of the was I would not work one on one with the bullying co worker anymore. the supervisor was taken by surprise but she arranged things differently and has shown a lot more respect.
Sometimes people at the work place will take you as you value yourself so value yourself high.

June 7, 2010
7:15 pm
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queenofmean
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September 24, 2010
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How about removing yourself from the drama. You might have to eat lunch alone and not be popular, but go to work to do your job, not play the game.

June 2, 2010
12:00 am
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Slient Jaguar
New Member
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Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I was
hired to work at my workplace almost two months ago. I am working
in a group of 14 co workers in the unit. I finally see the true
colors of these co workers.

There is a mole or
two mole co-workers in my group that does like to cause problems
with our co workers. I feel that I am the weak link because I am
still learning new things and is the most recent new co worker at
the workplace. The mole co worker appears he does not like me. He
have made negative comments about me. He spoke verbally abusing to
me, "you don't do right job and you need a new brain." I don't want
us lead to a problem. I made a positive joke, "I said yeah, I
rather keep my brain, just need a tune-up." I tried to comfort him
to be positive. I tried to turn his negative comments into positive
comments, so we can get along. I want to show a good impression for
my supervisor and be able to pass my 90 days.

The mole co worker
seems getting negative around me because I am chosen to be a weak
link in the group. I think we do have a second mole co worker, but
this second mole co worker seems so considerable around me. He
offers to help me to make my job right with the customers. He
flirts a bit over instant messager. I don't have any problems with
the second mole co worker. He appears try to take me on his
side.

How can I stay out
of this game at the workplace? I don't want to be someone's side
against others in the group. How I can remove myself as a weak link
in the group?

Any suggestions
would be helpful. Many thanks.

June 4, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
chinadoll
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 193
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi
SJ,

Why consider
yourself the "weak link" just because you are new?

I understand the
wanting to fit in, but who says you have to play their games? These
dynamics could have been already in place before you even started
to work there.

The guy with the
negative attitude could just be a very unhappy person, and would
say those things to any new person, whether it is you or somebody
else.

I would never
allow someone to verbally abuse me at work. I would politely stand
up for myself and let him know that those types of comments are not
tolerated. You would not be getting in trouble, I am sure if your
supervisor heard what he said, the supervisor would not tolerate it
either.

Don't let this man
bully you. If you allow him to treat you like this, he will always
see you as the scapegoat, and you will always see yourself as the
"weak link". He will blame you for everything that goes wrong, and
that will wreck your confidence at work.

Just because you
all work together does not mean that you all have to be friends.
You all do need to be able to work together and get along in a
professional manner, but that is all.

Whenever I have
started a job at a new place, I tell myself that I am there to get
paid to do a job that I was hired to do. I am not there to make
friends or socialize or chit-chat. I am there to work.

Yes, we might go
to lunch together sometimes, or see each other after work for a
bite to eat, but sometimes we still don't have to be friends to do
that, just co-workers.

there are some
people I will work with that I will get along with better than
others, there are some people I will actually become friends with.
I am very careful of who I consider a friend. I would have to trust
that person more than just working on a project together. I have
car-pooled to work with some people, and still not consider them a
friend. To me, it all has to do with trust.

But my main focus
is that I am there to do a job, to learn my job as best I can, and
everything else that happens is just extra.

If I were you, I
would be very careful about this co-worker that is flirting with
you on IM. I make it a rule for myself to never date or flirt with
other men at work (I have a boyfriend anyway), but I have never
dated or flirted with anyone I work with. It can lead to a lot of
drama. If things go wrong, he might not be willing to help you
anymore. Or if you guys date and break up, you still have to see
him at work every day.

You can do
whatever you want, but this has always been my own rule. I've seen
too many situations that end up badly in that area.

I work with almost
all men, and I have, for almost all the jobs that I have ever had.
I just look to them like they are my brothers...no matter how nice
and good-looking they are.

Good
luck.

June 6, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
Poetry
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

FOCUS
IS KEY!!!!

DONT CONSIDER
YOURSELF AS THE WEAK LINK. FOCUS ON YOUR JOB AND NOT YOUR CO
WORKERS BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY NOBODY IS PAYING YOUR BILLS
BUT YOU.

June 6, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
Tiger Trainer
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I
agree with poetry. although i recently had an incident with a
coworker and a supervisor both bearing down on me. I almost could
say they were bullying me. Finally i stood up for myself and said,
hey i am very intellgient and spoke of my good qualities and the
contributions and extra stuff i had done. then i made some demands
of myself. One of the was I would not work one on one with the
bullying co worker anymore. the supervisor was taken by surprise
but she arranged things differently and has shown a lot more
respect. Sometimes people at the work place will take you as you
value yourself so value yourself high.

June 7, 2010
12:00 am
Avatar
queenofmean
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

How
about removing yourself from the drama. You might have to eat lunch
alone and not be popular, but go to work to do your job, not play
the game.

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