Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
At a crossroad
March 4, 2004
12:10 am
Avatar
AngelC
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi there. I have previously about a guy I got back together with recently. I unintentionally called him (honest)after 2 1/2 months a part, and we ended up "catching up" and picking up with eachother again. In some ways,I was glad because things had ended with a lot of misunderstanding and a lack of "closure."
We were getting along great (for all of two weeks) We were spending a lot of time together also. Anyway, he got upset when I called him one night and wanted to talk about my feelings (such as "where is this relationship heading?") He was upset mainly because he was busy and I (feeling very needy) wanted to talk anyway. He didn't return my calls. 5 days later he called me and we talked and did clear the air, though we see things much differently. He didn't exactly apologize.
I was upset for being available to him after he put me through that crap for 5 days. I had almost gotten to the point of ditching him and feeling fine. (but he called and I bit)
Anyway, I really don't think this guy is going to offer me a committed relationship and I'd like to get out while I have some dignity left, but I am hanging on for reasons I don't exactly know. Like I acting from a place of my old bad habits. I know I am stronger now. I'm just a bit afraid to let go. It's so obvious it is the best thing for me to do.
Any advice?

March 4, 2004
12:20 am
Avatar
Zinnie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

What exactly are you wanting in a relationship? What is he wanting?

March 4, 2004
12:28 am
Avatar
AngelC
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Zinnie, I've seen your name so much since joining this sight and I have a lot of respect for you. It seems many others do too. God bless you. I just wanted ot acknowledge that and then answer your question.
I think, after coming out of a 3-4 yr relationship just before this one (which has been off and on for about a year, it is time I am on my own. I have picked th ewrong relationships. The first one almost destroyed me. I wanted to die, but lasted through it. The second one has been more "fun," and I just adored him. After the first relationship, I was pretty down, so I really made the 2nd guy out to be something he was not.
Anyway, he sends me mixed messages and I think he wants me around at his convenience. He doesn't open up easily, but I've ssen some improvements. Now I sound all confused.
Bottom line, I think I should be on my own, gain strength as an individual, and then see if my next relationship isn't a healthier one. What do you think?

March 4, 2004
12:40 am
Avatar
Zinnie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Angel,

Thank you for such a sweet compliment! I'm up late tonight, for some reason I cannot sleep, and I'm tired - so bear with me.

Sounds to me like you have some good ideas. Just stick to them. I guess you can decide if you want to stay with this guy you are with now, but perhaps only in a dating situation. You can date other people, so can he. Have you thought about that?

After my first husband passed away, I was in no shape to have another relationship - so I dated. Some guys - oh boy, I could start a whole thread on them... might be entertaining - give folks lots to laugh at. Some I dated for a while, some only a few times. Nothing serious. Then, I met my second husband, and we have been married for 14 years.

I have posted this before, and some folks have taken it to calling it the "No Buts" list. It was what I decided I would tolerate and what I would not in a relationship. This was after my first disasterous relationship.

Here is part of it:

I love him BUT he drinks too much.

I love him BUT he hates my friends.

You get the drift. Once I did that, and stuck to it, it seemed like the rest was easy.

But, definitely get healthy first. The more you love yourself, and the more content you are with yourself - the easier a relationship is. At least from my experience.

Z.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
31
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110976
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38561
Posts: 714257
Newest Members:
nina1985, February, lisabaker, robertwalker, Why.., Why.
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information