Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
asking myself questions
October 26, 2006
10:40 am
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I have been reading and following a lot lately. It is good to see so many people supporting each other. Many times have I been sitting in my office with tears in my eyes wanting to be able to help or say something that is so right. Guess that may be part of the co-dependant in me. It is horrifying to me some of the things people have to go through and at the same time amazing the strength and courage they have to have made it through it. I have known that this site has amazing people on it but it is validated everyday in thier stories. It makes me realize how little I have truly suffered in my life. I sit here thinking that I should be ashamed for the mess I have made of my life when I have had it relatively easy thus far.

Why is it that I feel so sorry for myself? Why is it that I cannot seem to get motivated? Does it matter if I know what to do next? Wouldnt doing something be better than doing nothing?

I was going to buy a car, but dont know where my life is gonna be in a month so better not. Dont own a house, dont wanna buy one if I dont know where my life is gonna be in a month. I try to pray but Im pretty sure with all the screw ups I make it is pointless because. I can pray for others and do all the time. I wish there was some way for me to find strength. I think that is what I am lacking. I dont have the strength to do or know what I should do.

I do know that my three beautiful girls are being cheated. I know that I have clinical depression and I know that meds could help. I know that I dont have insurance so I cant afford meds. I am looking for a job with benefits, even have an interview Friday. But the last few times I have interviewed I have not been chosen for hire. Keep wondering what it is that I am doing wrong.

October 26, 2006
10:50 am
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Why is it that I doubt myself so much?

Well I guess that is an easy one to answer. Look at your past girl. That is reason enough to doubt. Shake it off, grow up, do something. All great advice and still I am sitting here doing nothing. I know my house needs to be cleaned, I swear today will be the day that I get something accomplished. I go home I see the mess I get even more depressed I get in bed I pray for bedtime to hurry up and arrive. Some life for the girls. Some life.

And how about Mr. Wonderful. What is wrong with him lately? DUH you idiot hes an alcoholic. But he is different. But he is still an alcoholic. He may not be abusive. For the first time in my life I am with someone who is not verbally or physically abusive. But he is still an alcoholic. I think I am getting worse. I just want to quit. I dont want to try anymore. Some life for the girls. I dont think they even want me anymore. My baby is always talking about missing her daddy. That hurts but here I am doing nothing.

October 26, 2006
10:55 am
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thumkin,

Let me say this...if you have read the thread that LL, GG, Cyndra, and I among many others have you would know that to some degree we all feel sorry for ourselves. Doesn't mean we want to stay there, just means thats where we are in life. Don't sell yourself short that you haven't helped anyone, becaues gf, you helped me a lot. Please don't try to convince yourself that your problems aren't the same as the rest of ours. PLEASE. Pain is pain, and we all have it. Your problems may not be the same, but that doesn't mean they aren't as important. And I know some of your pain. Remember? I know that alone isn't all that is going on in you, and that alone is devastating and depressing. Meds might help, and they might not. Have you talked to your family doc? A lot of times they have free samples that they will give to people without insurance. Mine did. Honey, you are a good person. When there is something you want to say to someone here, say it. It is helpful to us, and it is only hurting you to not say it. You want to be helpful, and you are, but you have to let yourself be. None of us have perfect advice for anyone. Th truth is, we can all say anything we want to anyone, and it is helpful to help other people. The problem is that is is really US, that has to change ourselves. That is a tough thing for some of us here. I wish someone else could say the right thing to change me. People can help me, but ultimately, IT IS MY JOB. I don't think I say the right things half of the time, but I do it. I try to help,and I hope that is what people get from me. Like you, I am a caring and loving person. And please remember this, you are not alone in feeling that your kids have been cheated. I think that MOST of us feel that way. But the reality is, I think that we have done the best we can. Can we try harder, sure, and it is NEVER too late for that. But that too, is a choice. One I am trying desperately to make for me. I care a lot about you, and I thikn that you are a wonderful woman with a great heart. I have seen it. Keep your chin up, and don't be so hard on yourself. I will be thinking of you.

(((thumkin)))

Scared

October 26, 2006
11:07 am
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you Scared. I really appreciate that.

Today is, would have been my 10th wedding anniversary to my second husband. We have been apart for two years now. He just called, just now, to thank me for our children and remind me that today would have been our anniversary. I want to be so damn angry with him. I want to yell at him its your fault I am where I am. But I cant because he never did anything to me that i didnt let him do. I asked him if he wanted to go out tonight and get drunk. Of course if I did that my b/f would leave me. I probably should have named this thread after LL's cuz thats all Im doing is rambling. Sometimes it helps me for a little bit if I write and get things out then go back and read it. Its almost like sometimes I dont know whats wrong with me. I just know something is wrong with me. When I write sometimes I find it written what is wrong with me.

I am worried. Can a person become an alcoholic later in life? I dont think I have it in me to become an alcoholic but I have been drinking more lately to avoid or escape. I rarely ever used to drink. When I was younger I did all the time but then I grew up and stopped all that partying. Now it seems I drink about everyweekend and I have even had a drink through the week. Two nights last week I had a drink on a weeknight. It was just one but what was the purpose. Maybe self medication? My oldest daughter is starting to realize her dad may be an alcoholic. He was my first husband. She is 13 and asked me the other night. Mom is my dad an alcoholic. I dont know how to answer that question. I have never and would never tell her why her dad and I divorced. I just always told her we married too young which isnt necessarily a lie, just not the whole truth. I would never tell her about the drinking, the drugs, the other girls, but how do I answer her when she asks me is he an alcoholic.

October 26, 2006
11:16 am
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I was going to buy a new car. Well actually a SUV. My ex-h bought me a car that I hated when he bought it and I hate it now. So I thought get something you want. Well I cant. I owe too much on the one he bought for me and it is not worth that much. So I guess I will be stuck with the piece of shit until it just falls completely apart and I will probably still owe on it then too. But anyway when I was considering getting something new I was thinking about having to get a carpet stain remover from where my daughter had markers in the car and left the lids off. I thought gosh that car needs some serious detailing. I could pull it in the garage at b/f's house and work on it in there to keep from getting cold. Then I thought maybe I could just leave it running while I work on it. That really scares me cuz I have never thought anything like that in my entire life. Why would that thought even cross my mind. What is wrong with me? How could I even consider doing that to my girls, to my self? That is not me. What is wrong with me? They all want to live with thier dads. They would be split up. They would never see eachother again. I wanted a sister my whole life. They have eachother, but if they are not with me they would not be together. My oldest would be all alone with just her dad. The other two would still have eachother though but what about thier sister. I know after a week they would all miss eachother miserably. I should probably talk about my addiction, my b/f. Men have been the one spot in my life that keeps me screwing my life up. I think I will have to go outside and smoke first.

October 26, 2006
11:33 am
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I am afraid. I am afraid to leave him because we both have so many issues to work out, we are neither one of us healthy. BUT. He is the only man who has ever not verbally and emotionally abused me. He is the only man who ever treated me with respect, who has told me I am better than that, who has done things with me, who has included me. In the music Oliver Nancy sings the song "He needs me". That is my baby to a degree. He needs me, I am good for him. In some ways it is true vice versa. When I want to give up he encourages and supports me. When I am with him I usually feel wonderful. But I worry that I am making a mistake. I have such a horrible time opening up but he doesnt take my I dont Knows as an answer. He waits patiently until I spit it out. But I know if I leave him I will be replaced and we can never get back what we have. How do I walk away from so much good. But how do I stay and move forward with so much unsure? Am I that afraid of being alone or do I truly love him that much? I dont believe in myself enough to do it alone. What will I do when I need to have my car worked on? I dont have the money to cover emergencies. I am alone. I just wont let myself be convinced of that. He may never marry again. I probably dont need to marry ever again, I have already failed twice in that category. But I feel like if I leave him and he gets married it would only prove how worthless I am. Why would I even worry about that when I am not ready to marry him or anyone for that matter. I dont trust myself enough to get married why should anyone else?

October 26, 2006
11:57 am
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I should have called in sick to work today. I hate calling in sick. But these days I dont really want to work. This job has always been my passion but I dont even want to do it anymore. I need a break from reality. But there is no time. This weekend is youth season. My daughter is so excited about it. I cant even get excited about that. My sis in law is having a surprise bday party for my bro. This Sat at 1pm. I cant not go hes my baby bro. I cant not take my daughter hunting. The party is at 1, I am going to be almost two hours away from it. I will have to leave the woods and go straight to the party. Hmmm. Its at a winery wont I look pretty showing up in my camo. Give my family another reason to look down on me. Cant even show up presentable to her own brothers party. If my daughter doesnt get a deer that morning I will have to leave the party by 130 to make it back to the woods intime to take daughter out again. That will be pushing it too. I wish I could just take my tent to the lake and be alone camping this weekend. Just me by myself. No kids, no family, no boyfriend. Just me in the beautiful, peaceful, calm outdoors.

October 26, 2006
12:54 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thumkin,

Keep talking..I am listening...Don't talk about suicide though. If that is a serious thought to you, please talk to me about it, but honey....don't do that. I have been clinically suicidal for a long time, I know that pain, I DO. But, you are worth more than that. I care about you. You have to find happiness, it IS out there. I keep asking where? But, I have to believe that it is. Honey, you are a sweet person, and you deserve to be happy. Be careful drinking...But I understand why you're doing it. Talk to me, i am here....

Love Always,

Scared

October 26, 2006
2:49 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thumkin---

I know exactly how you are feeling.. someone even at this website questioned me about why do I doubt myself.. and, for me, i know that the answer is that I have a very low self-esteem.. I feel like I have been slowly ripped apart and I am only just now getting myself back together again.. and the reasons for doing that is the fact that I am the only person that can do so... just like my friend Mich said...

things do not happen for a reason.

It is my own opinion that things happen because of the choices we make in life..

I had a downslide today.. did not talk to my ex-b/f but i did respond to the text messages that he sent me.. on day 5 of no contact..

my situation is posted on the thread "doubleloss.. I am here.."

this web site is amazing... it has helped me so much since I first came here only a few WEEKS ago..

please post and i will bump up the thread for you in case you would like to read it...
love, need

October 26, 2006
3:08 pm
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Scared,

I normally dont have suicidal thoughts, that is why that thought scared me so much. I have worked on suicide hotlines, I have worked as a counselor. I understand where people are at when they are there and I know all the tools etc.etc.etc. I just dont understand where did that thought come from? I dont have any true reasons to think that way.

But I dont drink all that much either. Who am I? This is not who I am? It is just what I am doing and it doesnt make much sense. I dont know if I mentioned it earlier or not but I asked my ex-h when he called this morning if he wanted to go out and get drunk. I think he thought I was kidding. I wasnt but Im glad he didnt ask me what time to pick me up. Another stupid thought I have had lately. I should just give up and go back to him. Its like my brother said at least there I knew my demons. But that would be emotional and mental suicide. That would be like saying ok you were right I am useless and can do nothing on my own, I give up.

Now my b/f would kick my butt if he heard any of this, but at the same time he is so sensitive he would take it as it was all his fault and blame himself. I hate it when he does that. Even if there is a problem that has to do with him instead of just seeing himself as a failure I wish he would consider what to do. He only gets like that sometimes but what am I supposed to do during those sometimes. A normal healthy person would not question those kind of things they would leave wouldnt they. It just seems like I am always leaving. I just want to park somewhere and find that happiness and peace everyone (including myself) keeps saying is out there.

October 26, 2006
3:31 pm
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

See I just got off the phone with my b/f and I feel a little better. That is wrong. Why would just talking to him make me feel better. I almost wish he would have been drunk cuz he is not as sensitive and caring then and that never makes me feel better. Ugggghhhh i hate that. It has to be wrong, I know that, but he is like a drug to me. He makes me feel good.

October 26, 2006
3:42 pm
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Need to heal, I read your thread. I remember reading it earlier this week. I wanted to slap him everytime you were talking about the mean things he would say to you.

I know a lot of the self doubt I have comes from low self esteem. The bad part is when I left my ex-h 2 years ago my self esteem was coming up which is how I got the courage to leave him and it just seems like since I left him I am now 2x worse than I was. Did he really make me a better person. Am I really nothing without him. If that is all untrue I am not doing a good job of proving that. I guess I actually left him more than 2 years ago. I cant believe its been that long. But I will have been seeing current boyfriend for 2 years in February. When we first started seeing eachother I didnt let my kids know I was seeing him, but as things developed I slowly brought him into our lives and he brought us into his daughters life. In the almost two years we have been together he has never yelled at me. You have no idea how amazing I find that. It is sooooooo different than what I am used to. He has never called me a name or insulted me. Another wierd experience.

I think when things are good in my life I self destruct or sabatoge them.

I am my own worst enemy.

October 26, 2006
4:00 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I think that we are almost all our own enemies.

October 26, 2006
4:22 pm
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

My daughter and I got into a fight this weekend. She said I never listen to her so what is the point in talking. She did finally talk to me but I lose my temper so easily with them, Dont know why I do that when they are all I have left. Talking to her I wanted to cry but then she would quit talking cuz she doesnt want to make me cry and she doesnt want to make me mad. She wants us to move in with my b/f cuz she doesnt think I can do it on my own either. She says we would be better off with him or somebody. We would be safer. Cuz you know I am a girl and a guy can keep us safe and make the decisions and stuff. Just like my ex-h did. What have I done?????/

October 26, 2006
5:24 pm
Avatar
Travlin_lite
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thumkin... hugzzz to you hang in there ..Just when I think I got it together I can go down into the pits of depression at a flicker so I do understand maybe not the situation but the feelings you are sharing. You mentioned addiction you know it comes in many forms.. when I was real young I was obsessive/compulsive about my house ..as a Mom became a perfectionist...as a Nurse both obsessive/compulsive & perfectionist..now a babyboomer..I got into gambling fortunately I realized before things got really really bad and got into 12-step program talk about something besides someone to take your self-worth away. Still feel that all my addictions have to do with self-worth.. I have put a card on my refrig I read everyday no matter how depressed I get or bummed out that I am not where I wanted to be at this age..."Refuse to Allow anyone or anything to take away my self-worth" It sure helps to have those reminders.
Maybe you can come up with something that just helps you that you can relate and feel good about everyday..Thanks for sharing for it helps knowing others that have the similar walks..

October 26, 2006
6:01 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I agree with scared-- that sometimes we are our own worst enemies... I feel that way too but I am trying to not be so negative when I self-talk..

I also agree with travelin'---

Remind yourself as much as possible to REFUSE to allow ANYONE or ANYTHING TO take away your self-worth!!!

We have choices... and even NOT doing anything is A CHOICE....

such as NO CONTACT

keep posting..

and thanks for reading the thread..
I have been through so much between the ex-husband and this ex-b/f..

I am just willing to get to know who I truly am ...

October 26, 2006
6:28 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thumkin:

You said...."Why is it that I feel so sorry for myself? Why is it that I cannot seem to get motivated? Does it matter if I know what to do next? Wouldnt doing something be better than doing nothing?

I was going to buy a car, but dont know where my life is gonna be in a month so better not. Dont own a house, dont wanna buy one if I dont know where my life is gonna be in a month."

Honey you are doing something. Read.. You are watching and evaluating your situation. There is a time to talk and there is a time to take care of you. This is your time to take care of you. To evaluate and decide what you are to do for you and your girls.

You also said... "I try to pray but Im pretty sure with all the screw ups I make it is pointless because. I can pray for others and do all the time. I wish there was some way for me to find strength. I think that is what I am lacking. I dont have the strength to do or know what I should do. "

Honey, I thought I wrote that line and here you are saying my line. I want to share w/ you what I have been told by those who love me. You keep praying even if you feel unworthy or that God doesn't hear you coz he does. I know you don't feel he hears you, but remember it's times like this he is carrying you. He hears you. He is waiting for you to listen to him maybe? I don't know. He is waiting for you to finish your evaluation and decide where you stand? I don't know maybe? He is your strength. He is holding you right now. Let him carry you while you are making decisions for your life.

After you decide and you are free... then you are expected to help others. Sometimes we cannot help others until after we have helped ourselves.

Now that I've said that and feel like a total hypocrit, lol. Guess I should be listening to what I am preaching (not actually preaching, just a phrase).

I wnated to write on that so now that I did I'll go read the rest.

October 27, 2006
10:54 am
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Just got off the phone with my sis n law. Feeling way down now. She more or less called me a 12 year old cuz I am afraid to make decisions. I needed that, somebody call her and tell her thanks alot. Then here I am trying to make a decision she doesnt agree with and so I am wrong again. HMMM. Not fair. I am going for a job interview today. The job pays 2$ less an hour than what I am making now. She doesnt think I should even bother with it. She says its such a horrible place to work because they are so poor there. The job is working in a domestic violence shelter. No it is going to pay great money wise but wtf. I think it would be great. I go from a husband who makes all my decisions to now my family thinking they know what decisions I should make. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe I am screwing up again, does that make me a worse person. Do I have to just do what they want me to do. Would we benefit if I stop making my decisions and do what my family wants me to do? Should I just do what they tell me to do. Break up with my boyfriend work in a job that I may not like or be able to do. Sometimes I dont know if its worth fighting for. Maybe I should just give up and let them live my life for me. Then I cant be blamed for anything else that goes wrong. I wanna cry so bad right now.

October 27, 2006
12:32 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thumkin,

DO NOT LET THEM CONTROL YOU. This is your life. You have to try to do new things to figure out what makes YOU happy, no matter what that is. If you want to try to take a new job, then you do it. If helping people is where your heart is, it make make you a happier person. You have to do what is best for you. They can only control you if you let them. It isn't up to them if you do what you want to do. You are a beautiful person, the sad part is that they spend so much time trying to control you that they don't see that. This is your life, YOU DO WHAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY. Go to the interview, at least see what it's about. Then make your decision. It is about you, NOT ANYONE ELSE.

Thinking of you and holding you close.

Scared

October 27, 2006
3:38 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

thumkin,

You OK?

October 27, 2006
4:44 pm
Avatar
thumkin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I just dont understand why they think I should be like them. If I am not like them they make it seem like something is wrong with me. I dont like that, they are supposed to be my family. I guess family is not too much different than marraige, but to judge me as a bad person because we dont agree on something hurts my feelings and makes me not even want to be around them.

I did go to the interview. It sounds like an absolutely awsome job. I think I would be very good at it and love it at the same time. I dont know what to feel about the interview. They really didnt ask me too much. They spent a lot of time telling me about thier company and the jobs details and the way they work then asked if I had any questions and what did I think about the job.

I told them it sounded wonderful to me. But I dont know if it was a good interview or bad one. I cant think that they would let me drive that far of a distance (75 miles) if they were not interested in me for the position but where were all the normal interview questions. She did say that I would be hearing one way or another by the end of next week or the beginning of the following week and that I should not panic if it takes them a while to get back to me because crisis can pop up at any time and they can be thrown off schedule by a few days.

I would absolutely love to have this job but am almost afraid to get my hopes up.

Yes it does pay $2 less an hour but there is a chance for a raise, and there is not one where I am currently at. They pay for my medical insurance which I dont have right now cuz where I am at they took it away back in July and I cant afford to get it on my own. They do provide mileage reimbursement, they pay us 25$ a month to keep a cell phone, they have paid holidays, two weeks vacation and sick time, they also have comp time of a sort on an honor system.

I am so excited about the prospect of this job I cant even feel depressed right now. I am sure I will come down off this high before Monday gets here but right now it feels good. I sooooo hope I get this job.

October 27, 2006
4:51 pm
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thumkin,that sounds awesome. I hope if you are offered the job that you take it. Do something that you want to do for YOU. You deserve to be happy. I am glad to read this post from you. Blessed highly.

October 27, 2006
5:35 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I too hope you get the job. It's ok to hope. Hope is good.

October 31, 2006
1:47 am
Avatar
ScaredinMichigan
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 5
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

How are things going thumkin? Thinking about you. Let me know ow things are.

October 31, 2006
3:24 am
Avatar
Daeja
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'm really not in the best of shape to give advice but i read your story and one thing stuck out. I understand the feeling of being ashamed for your feelings. My family has always made me feel like my feelings and thoughts are not important. So now I do it to myself. My cousin told me one day, you can not compare your struggles to others. Try to learn from others struggles but know and feel good at the fact that you have survived all of your pass struggles. Stuggles your friends or even me probably couldn't handle. You sound like your on the right track but you need strenght in your faith. Like you I can help others but can't help myself. I am very hard on myself. I try to tell myself now, I am a child of God and he loves me and I deserve it. No matter my faults.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
44
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111163
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
CaitlynForlong, AndrinNetzer, MaarcusPedersen, MarcusPedersen, eyeconcepts, junwork52
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information