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Ask Hazza.......
February 19, 2000
3:57 pm
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Brenda
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Dear Hazza
I started a Dear Hazza column just like the Dear Abby column because your advice is the best!
Ok, you helped me with my last stuff regarding my husband, but i have a new problem. Remember when I said hes putting money into his own account from the income from his business, well I helped him start this business for five years and we have claimed it as a partnership during that time but this year he has put it under his name ( he is doing most of the business now ) and has opened his own account and is taking more and more of the money and putting into his account. This last cheque he took fifty percent. He said that he doesnt trust me with the money because I am unreliable and he wants full control because its now his business. this has really upset me and shows that he does not respect or trust me. I am insulted, I have done business for years and I am very careful with money and for him to say that now and refuse to put my name on the business account makes me further upset.
Am i justified in feeling this way or am i being controlling as he says???????
It is upsetting and confusing me. I am pregnant and we have other children together and now he has made me so dependent upon him financially and otherwise. I dont like this feeling at all. I have no savings of my own and he is talking about taking the money that he has taken to invest in the stock market. We cant afford to do that, he is sure he will get at least a 30 percent return and I am saying you could also lose our money. He is saying, its HIS money not ours becuase its His business, well it is income that he is earning while we are married. Dont I have a right to this income also? I think this is morally unfair but perhaps legally too. I believe he is putting money before me and he is also a workaholic, he says he works for us, but he is building HIS business while neglecting us. When does the bullshit end?

February 20, 2000
7:44 am
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eve
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Hi Brenda,

I'm not Hazza, but here come my two cents.

How are the divorce laws in your country? Any chance you can get out of this even? There must be a self help group that can give you information on your rights.

Here's my opinion:
Taking away the control about the shared income is abusive. Don't stand it.
To me it sounds like you try to be in control of your own life and care for your kids. This is something that is perfectly healthy. If he can't stand it then the reason is his own insecurity and his need to have a dependent wife. That's not healthy in my opinion.

February 20, 2000
10:55 am
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KTHOMAS
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I agree with Eve. He is way to controlling. Where I live everything is community property even if it is only in one name as long as it was aquired during the marriage.

February 20, 2000
4:29 pm
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hazza
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Hi Brenda,
Thanks for the compliment!!
I think Eve and Karin have both said what i would say, Alarm bell should be ringing at this! Please try to get some legal advice on this, maybe phone up a Local womens Abuse group, they can also advise on finacial matters, they will be able to tell you where you stand legally.

You should make moves now to protect the finances for you and your kids because it seems like you husband is syphoning off money for himself, where will it end as you say.
Hugs to you, hope for the best but prepare for worst! let us know what is happening.
Peace
Hazza

February 21, 2000
11:00 am
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Brenda
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Well hes putting my name on the business account today, but i had to go through a load of verbal abuse to get it. He says "dont touch the money" we need to save it. I agreed.
Am I married to an abusive guy?
You guys seem to think hes dirt.
Have I lost all perspective?
He was and still is giving me fifty percent for household stuff and I have some extra for myself, now I am on the bus account also.
Should I consider that he is perhaps not entirely trustworthy?
I feel so confused.
If I getting legal advice, couldnt I actually cause our marriage to break up? I cant see the forest for the trees right now..........................:(:(

February 21, 2000
11:02 am
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Brenda
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I also want to use the money to buy a home ( we have been and are renting and im sick of it ) he says "eventually, but he wants to reinvest it into the business so that we can make more money and then buy a home"
Buying a home has always been our primary goal, now he seems to be obssessed with making money only. He says hes doing it all for us, maybe im just being paranoid......

February 21, 2000
11:17 am
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hazza
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HI Brenda,
I don't think your guy is dirt, after all i don't know him.

I think we are all very cautious here because we have had some bad experiences, maybe too cautious sometimes!

what worrys me is first,
you are worried enough to write in here, that must tell you that something is up, even if it is just you, something is making you wary.

2, he seems to be stalling about the house, and the business.
Do you have any say in how the business goes????
If your name is on the business and he goes bankrupt, then this can affect your credit rating and you personally could be liable for any debts incurred. I would say only be in the business if you know what you are doing, do you see (and understasnd )the accounts??

3. He is trying to make more money by investing. Do the two of you have an agreed amount that he is allowed to invest, investing is stocks as you know can be equal to gambling, does he stick to that budget?

You said he agreed to go to councelling. I think their are some issues that the 2 of you could use some help with, your mind is telling you to wary. This could be intuition, or it could be your hormones!!! The only way is for you to discuss all these fears with your husband.
How does he react? does he take you seriusly? does he change the subject or make excuses?

Even if you bought a house now, you could always upgrade to a bigger one when you have made more money.
I don't know if it is the same where you live but here in uk its much cheaper to buy than to rent whatever way you look at it! Is he afraid of the commitment to buy a house? Do you think he may have some addiction problems? as usual more questions than answers, im sorry i cant help you more, but it is one of those situations that could be nothing at all, on the other hand it could, and i only say could, be the start of a few communication and goal-setting problems for you both.

let us know more, usually the more we all talk here the clearer things come. I cant say for certain that anything he is doing is wrong or bad right now, but i do know that what he is doing is not the same as what you want right now and that in itself is a little problem that needs sorting before it gets any bigger!

Keep talking here, as i said the more we know the more we can tell you from our experience and you will see if we can help in any way!

Peace
Hazza

February 25, 2000
6:47 am
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Brenda
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Hazza
I am devastated. He promised me all week to put my name on the business account, repeatedly, yet tonight he says he does not trust me and will not do it. I feel completely betrayed. He had the nerve to say that I am not responsible and he thinks I will take the money and run off. Well, I would of never done such a thing and have proven myself in the past to be a stable, honest, reliable wife but NOW I FEEL LIKE MAKING HIS WORST FEARS COME TRUE.
I dont think he cares so much about losing me, its his business i think he is more worried about.
He also has a drinking problem ( weekend partyer ) and promised me he would quit drinking for a couple of months but started after one week, saying everyone he knows says he doesnt have a drinking problem. He works 12-15 hrs a wk and sometimes six days a week. I ask him to please not work this hard and help me with the children, he says he cant stop because "success is so exciting" He was an insecure unemployed immature asshole when I met him and now, after I helped train him in business matters and in this business in particular, he puts it under his name ( although he has no problem splitting income for tax reasons )and opens his own account and says I cant touch the money. He puts away 40-50 percent into this account and says its for the business. I am sick to my stomach, this stress is making me ill, I feel like getting a legal seperation.
He made out he was working like this for "US" but admitted last night it was more for personal success and EGO.
I feel ashamed for committing so much of my life to such a fucked relationship!
He used to hit me, and last hit me a few months ago during a drunken rage.
I feel like I have lost myself, he keeps blaming it all on me, saying I am controlling, angry and unfair in my demands. My expectations are too high and I should trust and accept him the way he is.
He lies to me constantly.
I thought he genuninely loved me, but now I think he is in love with only his fucking money and himself.
I cant go through another divorce.
My last husband was very abusive and I am still wounded from the affects of that.
He says to me last night "well, I can honestly say, I couldnt of picked a better mother for MY children"
What an asshole!
He admits that I basically helped create within him the confidence he now has to deal with business, but he says to me, if you think a seperation will help us I will give you one.
He says he wont pursue custody.
I dont believe anything he says any more.
Oh, the reason he says he changed his mind about the business deal was because I said to him "half the money in the business account is legally mine and at some point I would like to invest a little bit of money into starting my own business, I would be independent then if anything happened to our marriage and you wouldnt have to pay my child support. He then freaked and said that I was "not to touch the money at all" then he went further and said "better yet, I wont put your name on the account.
I am up in the middle of the night and i feel sick from all this stress.
I am taking the weekend away and talking to family about whether or not to end this marriage.
Hazza, I konw you have your own problems but your advice is good, impartial and strong. I really would like to hear from you, I feel as if I have made a friend in you. And from anyone else here, perhaps i have been blinded, perhaps I am so desperate to make this marriage work and fearful of the consequences if it isnt, that I can no longer see the pain and grief it is causing me and inevitably my children........
I need to think of them, what will a divorce do to them?
I will be in shock. I have little ones and it is so devastating. I watched Oprahs show last night on women who had recently divorced and how they were coping, some of them had completely lost it, but were learning to regain themselves who they felt they had lost in the marriage.
I feel like I lost myself. So much energy is dedicated to trying to make this marriage work. He does everything to extremes....work, drinking, money, .....he is a completely absent parent and husband.
Im sick and tired of being sick and tired......

February 25, 2000
6:54 am
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Brenda
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Should I let go and work on my own self in terms of counselling and career or should I seperate or should I go to marriage counselling with him?
I just cant stand the humiliation of living with him as a "housewife" as he calls me ( I have a university degree, he can hardly write and jsut barely made highschool ), the neglect and absences, his idiot friends who keep telling him that I am bad for him and talk behind my back, you know for xmas he promised to get a beautiful ring made for me ( we never had a wedding nor did I have a proper ring ) then xmas came and I got nothing, not even a card, of course i brought him gifts and a beautiful card, he told me he would give me the ring on our anniversary in Jan, jan came and went, I brought him a beautiful white and yellow gold ring, me nothing, valentines came and went, he brought me roses, no ring, i buy him clothes, cologne, chocolate etc......god I think I am a fool....

February 25, 2000
8:46 am
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hazza
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Brenda,
Hi, i too have been up all night having the mother of all arguments with my partner! He is today acting as though he is the most right person in the world and taking the moral high ground to the extreme because i actually let my guard slip myself and lost my temper at him.!!!!

I have learned a valuable lesson when dealing with this kind of man, never let them know you are angry, never let them know you are scared. I did both last night, and now he is walking around like the cat who got the cream, because i did actually tell him that i want to work things out, because he had been really getting better, but now??? so, i will see today how things go, he has gone to his friends house, will he start drinking again today or drugs??? i don't know, but i know one thing- last night i was tired and weak, today i am stronger, if he starts this shit again with me when he gets home, he won't know what hit him! I will calmly ask him to go, and try not to think any further than that!!

SO, back to you, just to show you that i understand and have the same stuff going on in my life, i wish i had answers for you, and in a way i do.
The answers i can see for you are the things you have said yourself.
When i first read your posts about your husband i must admit i had alarm bell ringing in my head! I very much thought that may be he did have a drink problem and that it was unlikely that he would be able to go without for 90 days as you had agreed with him. Well, he couldn't could he? you gave him the chance to prove it but he didn't keep to his word.

This happened many times with my boyfriend, as i said, we have had a bad few days maybe he will drink again today, after 6 months of sobriety? i don't know, but i cant control what happens, neither can you.
As i told you, the only thing that made my B/F stop, was the fact that he was really going to be out of a house and not have me within 24 hrs unless he stopped. It was a rock bottom for him. It was only possible because for the first time i said to myself "No, i can't stop him drinking, there is nothing i can do except to get out", even now i have such a strong urge as i am writing to you to phone my B/F and tell him not to drink, to say sorry to him, to say anything just to ensure that he doesn't have a drink today because i know he will be tempted, BUT that is the wrong thing for me to do and i won't do it, and many people say on this site, i have to let go and let god.

Now, with your husband, he seems to think he has it all at the moment, he has taken you for granted becuase you are always there for him, he has the business now, his friends, his children, and an ever inflating ego for you to feed as well as his belly! Things have become so comfortable for him right now, he naturally doesn't think he has a "problem" with drinking or anything else. You have done your job as the co-dep wife perfectly, you have taken this man and helped him go from a failure to a sucess!! No wonder you feel angry (i too feel angry, if that helps) but, and this is a big but, (or big butt!) if you are co-dep, then he must be too, where does his ego get its food from? from you, from his business, his drink, take these away from him and he will be crapping his pants by ten o'clock the next morning.

He is a co-dep taker, you are the giver. YOU CAN'T STOP HIM TAKING, BUT YOU CAN STOP YOURSELF GIVING. But it is a constant struggle, one i do every day. I would always advise anyone in this position to leave, because i know how hard it is to stay. But i also know that it isn't that easy, i mean i choose to stay don't i? why? there is still a little hope there? i am still too dependent and waiting to be stronger? i love him? I don't know, i expect all of the above are true.

But i know it won't stop unless you make some serious changes in your own behaviour, Look at me, last night i return to my "old ways" for a few hours and bingo i've got one selfish bastard back again!!!! now i don't blame him, i pushed it alot last night, and this is the only coping mechanism that he knows to deal with it, and we talked a little about it this morning and both agreed that for us both to go that far is really unhealthy, but it is hard to break habits.

I realise that i still have a long way to go on this stuff, so i can only offer you my opinion, but remember, i havent found the answers yet!!!

This man of yours clearly was worried about the thought of you taking any of the money for yourself in case you leave. When these type of people feel abandonment is close, they really turn up the gas on their behaviour. You need to be careful;

my advice to you is
BEFORE YOU TALK WITH HIM ANYMORE, FOR YOUR OWN INFORMATION PLEASE;

get some legal advice

Talk to your family / friends / others here at this site.

and think about what you said about going through another divorvce

You have already had one abusive marriage, you chose another abusive man, this is a part of you that you need to look at for the future. Read Brocs posts, he explains the whole thing about how we repeat patterns very well.

What is worse, going through another divorce or going through another abusive marriage????

Some coping tips i have found helpful.

Don't show your anger - this just allows the other person to lable you as being crazy and so on

DOn't reveal your plans for the future, keep things to yourself until you know what you want, that way you will be much better placed when it comes to decision time.

once you have worked out exactly what you want, then you have to see if he will play ball. but i do think that the only way you get anywhere is by being totally and truthfully prepared to lose this relationship. If not, you will be blackmailed by the threat of him leaving you unless he gets his own way 24/7

you need to look at what has happened.

he promised:
Your name on the business
to stop drinking
to spend more time with you
to allow you to start up your own business
to go to councelling

What happened?
None of the above.
i am sorry, i know where you are at, i am and have been there too. i have seen people come back from this, but i don;t know yet if i will in my relationship and i don't know if you will either.

But, you cannot go on thinking it is you who has the problem.

It is both of you as a couple. you have 2 choices

stick with things how they are
or
demand a change, but know that in demanding a change you will only get it if that other person wants to make it work, they can quite easily run off and find something else to fill that hole in them rather than face up to their own co-dep personality, if they don't want to see the truth then they wont.

But many people who have drinking problems dont see the truth until they start to lose things from it.

If your husband lost you, your home, his kids, his business - he might then figure that he had some problems,

if he keeps all those things because he has a co-dep wife who goes around "fixing" up all his crap after him, naturally he is going to assume there is no problem and that he just has a wife who "nags about his drinking"

There has to come a point where you stand up and say i am not fixing stuff anymore, and then you realise how hard that it, the urge to feel sorry for him, to help him, to fix his life is going to be almost unbearable, but i personally believe that you must let go of being the fixer before you can make any progress at all in a co-dep relationship. and even then, there are no guarentees.

I am sorry to be so negative Brenda, but i am in the same sort of situation and i know that this horrible picure i have painted is the only pathway open that offers the slightest chance of change from a unhealthy realtionship to a healty one.

YOu need to see what options are available to you if you do decide to split with him, if you at least have an alternative in your mind you will be less afraid to change your own actions and insist that he looks at his if he wants to keep someone as good as you!

Hugs, sorry i can't help more.
please let me know whats happening now.
Peace
Hazza

February 25, 2000
11:26 am
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Brenda
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Hazza, you have helped so much and you are so right!

I feel like I have totally been played.

His actions against me make me feel as if I am less of a person, when he is the dog.

Im so tired of feeling like this, I have helped and given endlessly to everyone untill I have nothing left, and these guys turn around and spit in my face. It is disgusting how low I have let myself sink. I forgive myself and know i did it all hoping to create a healthy family and some happiness for myself. It is obvious I will not find the happiness on this screwed up path. I need to be free, to do my own thing. I really dont want to be with him the way he is, I doubt that he cares enough to change or he would have. My fear holds me here.

I know this pattern comes from my childhood, the only time I got any affection or positive attention was when I was giving selflessly of myself. Self sacrifice was the name of the game, and I was its biggest player! Anger, verbal and emotional abuse was the order as well as blame. I was the oldest and the brunt of it.

I thought I was doing this because I loved him but I was doing it mainly because I wanted HIM to love me.

He is cold, unaffectionate, sex is mechanical and physical ( I feel like a whore afterwards ) and he talks only of his true emotions, fears, desires and goals, to his drug using friends!!!!!!!!!!!!

So what if hes the father of my children, he is a pathetic example of maleness. He is a obssessive perfectionist who likes to control me as if I were a souless puppet. He has a drinking problem and wont admit it, he calls himself a spiritual person but money is his god, and he will stand on my face to get it.

He is usually angry and irritable and blames me for his stress at work and in life. He snaps at our children and doesnt even read a book to them let alone play with them for more than ten mins in a day if lucky. My children are so starved for fatherly affection it hurts me. My little ones see the nasty way he treats me at times, although I refuse to discuss anything heated in front of them, but they sense the hurt and the pain and they come to me saying "I hate daddy" He thinks I have told them to say it, which is insane, he cant accept their feelings nor mine.

It is so obvious how "codep" I am and how much of distancer he is. His mom left him when he was two so he fits the typical scenario. He is afraid of abandonment, although he swears up and down "he doesnt care if I leave"

He says, "if you want a seperation or a divorce, I will give you one, but dont stop me from seeing the children"

Well, when you leave these guys, or attempt to leave, the hold gets tighter, the abuse gets higher and the suffocation is heavier.,...just like a anaconda snake.

They are scarier and feel threatened and take more drastic actions to hold the woman. I feel like this is happening, I am scard. I pray that he wont do this, that he wont turn mean...

My last abusive ex got really psycho, stalked me for years, threatened me, tried every tactic to get me back using our child as hostage. HE literally was mentally imbalanced in the end, and would of done anything. I am still fearful for my safety and well being of my family to this day, in respects to him.

The man I am with, I feel is mild in comparison,(thats what I keep telling myself and others) but I didnt see how abused and controlled I really was by this other man untill i left the relationship and could breathe and come into myself again.

He had done some good brainwashing on me and I held and still hold wounds from that...........

I am calling everywhere to get the counselling and help I need today.
I will let you know how it goes Hazza,
please take care of yourself.
I also suffer from anxiety, and was basically free of it but I feel the panic and breathing difficulties again now and then.......every time I have problems with my husband.

I need to heal, and I dont feel this marriage is doing it for me....in fact I feel old wounds opening and new wounds being created.

It is hard, I know how bad it gets, once you leave..........hell..
Oh and last night he came home with alcohol on his breath and smelling of smoke when he was supposedly "at work"
whenever he drinks he gets more than unreasonable..

Im looking at myself and rereading what I have written and it hurts me. I am so sad that I have let this happen to me again....Im going to phone battered womens support service. He may not be hitting me, but the emotional shit is worse!!!!!!!

February 25, 2000
11:35 am
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hazza
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Hey Brenda,
Thats the spirit, if you have had enough, then do it with inner strength. but make sure that it is logic telling you this not anger.

remember too that you will do yourself no favours by feeling like the one and only victim, i feel like this and i have to remind myself that it takes 2 co-dep to make a bad relationship.

good luck

February 25, 2000
12:54 pm
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BROC
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Brenda,

I found you! You asked for some help on the Broc thread but I didn't know your story.

I am not one to make quick statements, so I am printing this thread to read to get the full scoop.

But, I can tell you this for certain as I skimmed it over.

You know that insecure asshole you met way back when? Well, he is STILL THE SAME EXACT GUY YOU MET. He hasn't changed. Your rose colored glasses called denial "covered" that itsy bitsy fact about him up.

I am going to write back after I read it over again really good. But suffice to say, and as you know, this is a bad deal.

Broc

February 25, 2000
1:03 pm
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Brenda
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Ok Broc, will wait your wise words.
hazza, Its hard, he phoned me this morning upset and depressed, telling me he just doesnt want me to leave him and its HIS business. I dont do any work in it, well that is true to some extent. I did hire his recent employees and i do do his taxes and I did build it, but I cant physically work in it any more. I suffered with him in poverty, I put a lot of my life energy creating a stronger, what I thought, was a stronger man to be a better provided for us.......
I feel sorry for him and I do "love" him, I care....I cant say I felt this for my ex really......
He says hes going to phone me back and let me know about putting me on HIS business account...I just feel like saying, never mind....too late.
But if i need the money, i will need it.......I could be left with a lot of repsonsibility..although I want to make this work.
He told me to call for counselling.I have been..its so expensive, but whatever..has to be done. OUr first appt is on mon.
Its hard..this up and down up and down..he says its YOU....I say its not all me.
await your replies...

February 25, 2000
1:34 pm
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its both of us.......

February 25, 2000
1:41 pm
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Brenda
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oh my husband came across this site and says its "pathetic that I am talking on the internet to a bunch of bored housewives" and he says i am misrepresenting him..........hmm

February 25, 2000
1:42 pm
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I think that sentence says a lot about him all by himself..doesnt it...

February 25, 2000
4:09 pm
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Brenda
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Im gonna take my kids and go have some fun this weekend, all this stuff is giving me a headache.....he will probably get drunk with his friends and stay out all night god knows where.

February 26, 2000
8:19 pm
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janes
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Brenda...Several postings ago youdaid that when you met him he was isecure, unemplyed and immature. so now, with your help he is employed. What else has changed.
Why are you still there? If you made his business successful why not your own. so many women have made successful businesses at home while minding the kids. They will be better off without him. If he doesn't want you to leave...why is he continuing to be an idiot? His problem..not yours.

COUNSELING IS NOT TOO EXPENSIVE!!! He can't buy you a house...then he can afford to pay for counseling if he really wants you to stay.
And when he complains about the prive...leave...
Set some boundaries for him. Hey..why do you need to be this unhappy? And if you see that some of this is coming from your past.... it isn't gonna just go away. If anything he will get worse.

The bible says a husband should honor his wife...a good wife is precious, like rubies.

You are precious....no matter what he says....You tried to make a silk purse from a sow's ear... he's a better man for knmowing you...
Get out...get help

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