Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Army, are you here?
October 13, 2006
1:20 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I typed w/ Kasie and we discussed this. one thing you need to know. Us codependents take things on ourselves.

Kasie will learn as she grows. You are not her responsibility just as she is not yours. We are accountable to God and ourselves only. We are to protect our children, but we are not accountable to them.

So, you need to not feel responsible for Kasie, just as Kasie is not responsible for you. I don't mean that to sound cold, but it is fact. Could you prevent Kasie from harming herself? Could she prevent you? NOPE, SORRY.

Honey, you need to work on you for now. When you are better you can worry about Kasie or Mich or me or Lolli or anybody you want, but for now lets keep your focus on you and your kids.

If you want to not think about it for awhile that's fine. We can all just chit chat. But responsibility needs to lay where it is due.

It is so good to see that you still have feelings and caring. That proves you are not gone yet.

October 13, 2006
2:29 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

are you there

October 13, 2006
2:33 pm
Avatar
jastypes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I'm still here, but I don't know how helpful I am. 🙂

jill

October 13, 2006
2:35 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi jas,

thanks just knowing someone around is good.

Are you working

October 13, 2006
2:36 pm
Avatar
jastypes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yeah, but I'm not incredibly busy today.

October 13, 2006
2:37 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Lilli and jas,

You guys are right, I'm not thinking straight here. I'm driving myself in sane. everthing is so confusing!!

October 13, 2006
2:37 pm
Avatar
Guest
Guests
October 13, 2006
2:38 pm
Avatar
Guest
Guests

hi Army, i am back, how ar you today?

October 13, 2006
2:38 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I meant Lolli...I can't type, and this cast isn't helping

October 13, 2006
2:39 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

elle,

I don't know... but keep talkng please

October 13, 2006
2:39 pm
Avatar
jastypes
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I know all about driving yourself insane. I do it all the time. Then I kick myself for doing it. Then I do it again.

Here at work, I kind of do one thing, then check the web. I'm gonna go fax something. back in a bit.

jill

October 13, 2006
2:42 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

got to go... he's back....I don't want to get in troble

October 13, 2006
2:50 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((((Armyleo))))) We haven't met, yet I just wanted you to know I am following your story, and my heart breaks for you. You are getting some AWESOME support and advice here from soooooooooo many beautiful people.

I hope you will feel all the love that goes into everything that they type to you, and when you feel like you have the strength, you will act to get out of your situation. Some of these ladies have "been there, done that", so they are your best resource.

Although I have never walked your journey, I can empathize with the heartache and pain you are experiencing today. I just wanted you to know I will hold you close in my heart and in my prayers and that you are not alone as long as you can find the strength to reach out here on this site!

Please take care and do what you have to do! Thinking of you....

Love, Plz~

October 13, 2006
2:55 pm
Avatar
Guest
Guests

well, guess what i did today, i went on a job interview and i actually got the job..... me,,,,, i walked in there and held my head high, the whole way to the interview i kept telling myself i am worthy, and when i got there, i actually knew i was worthy.

i got back here to work and started to cry, i think it was a happy cry though.
so Army, what kind of things do you like to do?
do you have any hobies?

October 13, 2006
2:57 pm
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Armyleo-

I am here for you. We ALL are. I will keep checking back throughout the rest of the day to see if you are able to return to the thread. I know your husband is home. Your safety is so important. Do whatever you need to do to be safe today. SAFE. And rest your mind and emotions. I wish the doctor had given you something strong for the pain that might help you sleep or relax...to take the edge off the emotional pain you are feeling.

God bless and protect you.

With all my heart...

Ma Strong

October 13, 2006
2:59 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

((( STILL HOLDING YOU CLOSE )))

October 13, 2006
3:01 pm
Avatar
ggfred4
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

army, checking on you, know he is there....we are all here holding you and wanting to help you in any way...
Stay safe!!! (((((army)))))

October 13, 2006
4:25 pm
Avatar
bevdee
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 259
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Army

I have been following your thread, and I wanted to say - please don't be embarassed about not leaving right away.

I stayed in an abusive relationship for 3 years and 10 months after I knew I should have gotten out. Before I left, I became convinced I did not have the strength to leave-but the strength came when I needed it. I was watching him take a belt to my puppy, and I thought, "It will never get better than this, and it will definitely get worse." The fog cleared and I had a blaze of certainty that gave me the strength and conviction to leave.

After I left, I found support from the least expected places and people. I was in huge debt, and had no idea how I would pay it off. I lost a circle of (what I thought were)friends. None of this was significant compared to my freedom from tyranny, fear and degradation. The freedom from the pain he inflicted on my body and my mind.

Shortly after I left, I believed I had "lost too much of myself", but this was not true. Those parts of me went missing for a while, but they are back.

I'm not saying to wait 3 years!!

I'm sending my love and good wishes to you, Army.

Bevdee

October 13, 2006
6:28 pm
Avatar
Guest
Guests

Army, I have to go home soon, i just wanted you to know i am still here and thinking about you and i am worried about you, i hope you have a good weekend.
I would love to hear how you and your girls are doing.
if nothing else at least know there are many people out here praying for you.
hang in there kiddo.

when i get back i will update you on my weekend, my twin sister is coming in to town tomorrow,she and her family moved away a couple of months ago, i miss her so badly, she was my rock before, during, and after my divorce, she is the one who stood by me and helped me with all of my baby steps, when i failed, she was there to pick me up and let me know that it was just another step, and it was OK to fall, with out her i would still be with my xh.

all of us on this site are here to be your rock.

come back and hang with us when you feel better.

love Elle.

October 13, 2006
6:34 pm
Avatar
Guest
Guests

one more thing,
my sister actually came over to my house one day because i just about lost my mind, i was paralized, she came over and i was sitting on the floor crying, she came in and told me how to move on, she said Baby steps ELLE, Baby steps, your first step is to stand up, 5 minutes later i did, then she said take a shower, after that, she said, OK, go do your hair, etc. etc. i felt like a fool or a 2 year old because my mind completly shut down, but with the little baby steps i didnt have to think any further than 5 minutes into the future, if i looked even 15 minutes into the future i had a panick attack, i guess i am telling you this so you know you are not alone, we have all been where you are in one way or another, all i know is when i start to panick i take a step back and start the baby steps all over again.

October 13, 2006
7:12 pm
Avatar
Honolulugal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Wow Bev!!

You said it all...boy did I see myself in your post. God! A belt to a puppy? Makes me want to hang him by the short hairs.

I think we all have epiphanys at our own speed. For me, it was the night he dragged me outside kicking and cussing and locked me out.

I rarely lose my temper and this guy scared the sh!t out of me so I don't know where I got the strength, but I found the extra key and proceeded to walk back in and punch him in the face. I hurt him good, just as he'd hurt me. Then, 2 whole, long weeks later, I moved into my own place where I've been happily, peacefully, for 10 years. Just thinking about that night (after 5 years of crap and abuse from him) gives me chills. I found the impetus I needed to end my prison term. Thank the Lord! I was giddy, absolutely GIDDY with relief at my escape.

Army, you'll find yours. It's there, just keep your eyes peeled. Once that tide turns, you'll be amazed.

October 13, 2006
8:29 pm
Avatar
revelation
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey Army, Don't feel bad cause you can't leave...he we ALL stayed too long! I came on here and did'nt leave until another 7 months later!!!! Just gather your emotional and physical strength...don't set your self any time limits, just keep a picture in your head of where you want to go and aim for that.

Rev.

October 13, 2006
8:52 pm
Avatar
Honolulugal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Good advice, Rev. Like the picture in the head.

Oh, Elle, how lucky are you to have a twin! My dad was an identical and I truly believe twins have their own language. How lovely that she understood JUST what you needed? I just love that.

Good weekends, all!

October 13, 2006
11:23 pm
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Has anyone heard from Kasie?

Red

October 14, 2006
12:53 am
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It's probably late for everyone but that's okay because I can't stand it anymrore!! I'm west coast.

the pain is so overwhelming and I feel like it's impossible and hopeless overhere..

So many thoughts going through my head... Which is crazy because one moment I feel like a vegetable and the other I can't stop thinking. /Then when I can't stand it I just crumble on the floor. I've got to hold on though because if I let my emotions out I won't be able to control them, and it will be worst.

I saw the inntro, paralzed me and I couldn't go any further, If I am not crazy why doesit feel like I'm going crazy right now!!

I don't want to think but I keep thinking where things went wrong.

he wasn't always like this, has been back from the "sand box" one year ago, he was there 6 months. Activiated for six months!!!!

I worried when he was gone, I cryed that he wouldn't come back, couldn't sleep watching cnn news everynight, not knowing what was happening or if he was going to come back. We e-mailed, we truly communicated when he was gone.

So many women have gone through this, I thougth it was just me gong through this. Why is it so hard

I looked at other families I always wanted the happy family, I want the happy family. I want the fairy tale, I can't control it anymore. AT this moment I feel like it's me whose falling aprart. One moment I don't want to get outof bed and the next my mind starts thinking.

Do you ever feel like if you start crying then I'll never stop so I don't want to start, I can't

I want him to go to counseling, I want him to go.

I know I'm rambing but I've got to just type if not I'm going to fall apart. poundng the keys feels good I'm still here.

Chicken soup sounded good, couldnt find a can of campbles soup. That's okay It reminded me of my grandma, she died Feb 10th of this year. I was with her the last week. Dad and I decided to not give her any intrevenious feedings because she was becoming bloated. The doctors said she couldn't stand another operation. They said it would be no longer than 3 days she hung on for 5 days!!! Do you know what it's like to watch someone you love, died before your very eyes. Thefirst couple of days it was sips of water ice chips, and whatever she wanted to drink, Her organs started going but she hung on the last 2 days she survived with nothing. But she wouldn't go, the nurses said she was probably waiting to say goodbye to someone. My aunt and uncle got there right the day before she passed away,

She still hung on for 24 hours. You think a person knows that you lov ethem. But do you know what broke my heart it was that she had to ask. Do you love me???? That was crazy yes, I loved her I was with her till she died. Do you know what it's like to see someone like that. Being hopeless to do anything. I couldnt do anything. I had to decided to stop the intravenous feedings. My dad said you decided, he couldn't because he couldn't stand to watch her be sick.

She raised me for the frist 5 years. I was like the daughter she didn't have because she had 3 boys. I don't know if this was good or bad. Because she expected things of me and my parents expected things of me.

What is wrong with me I'm just rambling on. Everyone must really think I'm out of my mind.

My oldest has homecoming tomorrow, She got a dress for the dance. I hope she has a good time. She beautiful, with her long hair.

I feel drained now.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
25
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111092
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38644
Posts: 714469
Newest Members:
graydor, doctorelvis, lion heart, thomson, BenjaminGresham, answerhope
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information