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Are you Workin' On It?
April 1, 2005
6:49 pm
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Anonymous
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Yeah, this could be a double-entendre...

If so, what are you workin' on?

Right now, I'm workin' on self love. The other day I was having a conversation with a beautiful friend of mine. She said that she won't ever "settle for" in a relationship again because she has such an abundance of love to give to others. I said the same about myself and then asked her "Why do you think it is that we have the ability to create love for others, but we haven't figured out a way to do it for ourselves?" It really left me thinking...

If I create love energy for me, then all the rest is gravy and it doesn't "cost" me emotionally or spiritually to spread it around as thick as icing on my favorite birthday cake!

So my goal is to learn to create self love...

That said, I would love to hear from you whether you're "workin' on it" or not... (Yeah, that was another double-entendre-thingy...)

Love to all,

Ren'ai

April 1, 2005
7:00 pm
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raissa
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Can I please join you on This endeavor I may learn a thing or two.

April 1, 2005
7:04 pm
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on my way
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Oh Ren'ai!!! May have to go to Libs for this one! 🙂

Ok. Self-love, yep I am working on that one too. But I have found that I put limitations on my self-love. I think most of us do...somehow, some way, we always come up short.
So-o-o-o-o-o-oo-...
I go to God, who loves me for all that I am, perfectly, unconditionally, no waiting, no working to get love, always consistent, always there. I am not even that good to myself...so I am working on understanding how God could love me so much, I think if I can understand that, as someone else always seems to want what I can't give...then I will truly learn to love myself. 🙂

April 1, 2005
7:19 pm
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raissa,

You bet!!! Jump in with both feet! That's what I usually do, unless I dive in head first!

OMW,

Thanks! You totally nailed something for me...

See, I was raised in a very fundamentalist christian church and had a very idealistic mentality about "god's" love for me. I don't know if you saw on the lib. brew threads where I said "I am god," but I did. Now...

If, it is true as I believed that "god" has an unending source of love for me, and it is true that I am "god" then I have an unending source of love for me. All I have to do is recognize it and receive it!

Right on!

A friend of mine was recently talking about receiving what she defined as "sacred love." She discussed her belief that there is a never-ending source that is eminating from a "higher power" and that all one has to do is receive.

In my world, I am the creator. I draw to me what I need to learn whatever I believe is valuable at a given point in my soul-energy journey. I'm unraveling here, but I know I have just grasped a new concept thanks to these threads and the people who come here. As I have said before, I love the way the world works!!!

Love to all,

Ren'ai

April 1, 2005
7:35 pm
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raissa
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you have describe to the teeth!! I am the one who jumps head first!!

April 1, 2005
7:41 pm
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on my way
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"If, it is true as I believed that "god" has an unending source of love for me, and it is true that I am "god" then I have an unending source of love for me. All I have to do is recognize it and receive it! "

For me this is the Holy Spirit, Jesus imprated this to us when he went to heaven...so we would have His power inside, so we would know him, help others, glorify him...love him, know him and love ourselves.

"a never-ending source that is eminating from a "higher power" and that all one has to do is receive."

For me this is God...and yes all we have to do is receive.

"In my world, I am the creator. I draw to me what I need to learn whatever I believe is valuable at a given point in my soul-energy journey."

Yep, the concept of reaping what we sew.

Very right-on!!

April 1, 2005
7:50 pm
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raissa,

Thanks for jumping in!

OMW,

Thanks for the pleasant "blend" of your traditional christian values with my more non-traditional statements! It feels so relieving not to have someone else's beliefs crammed down my throat--or into my brain!

Love you both!

Ren'ai

April 1, 2005
7:52 pm
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on my way
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It's waht we are all about really...just helping each other, loving people, and not judging.

April 1, 2005
8:16 pm
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raissa
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You know what? I feel very lucky to have the support from all of you guys, I sit here smiling,thinking,analysing life and it keeps me away from trouble.

I LOVE IT !!!

April 1, 2005
8:48 pm
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ntheprocess
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I am working on self love, also. I now know that I can't love anyone without loving myself. I always had a hard time "feeling" God's love for me. I could never just accept that He loves me totally and unconditionally. I never felt lovable. I was told that it is hard for people who have been abandoned in early childhood, through death, desertion, or a host of other ways that a person could be abandoned, to accept God's love. This is because the main authority figures in our lives disappointed us or we did not feel the unconditional love of our parents, or other significant authority figures who we could see, so how could we believe in and accept, (without question) a God who we could not see?

Anyway, I have come a long way in loving myself and can truly say that I totally trust and have faith in God today. I have a long way to go. But just having an "awakening" and finally being able to see myself honestly, is a huge step. You can't change what you can not acknowledge. So, here's to loving ourselves...if we don't, who else will?

April 3, 2005
1:25 pm
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So, who else is "Workin' on it"? And what, if you don't mind sharing, are you finding works best for you and doesn't?

Share some success stories!

Aces has a good one... So does Zinnie...

Love to all,

Ren'ai

April 4, 2005
1:20 pm
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Helllll-oooooooo...?

April 4, 2005
1:29 pm
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YOU think Im a sucess story?

April 4, 2005
1:33 pm
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Hell yes I do!!!

And I'm always right, btw...

Love,

Ren'ai

April 4, 2005
1:50 pm
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Ha, well I have come a long way, but I still miss Jack and I still think of him, and I still compare people I date to him from time to time, and it still sucks. So if that is sucess I am way on my way.

Besides that how are you doing?

April 5, 2005
7:59 pm
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I miss my ex too. It's nuts, I know, but I do.

She and I used to "party" together, dance (not go out to dance, just put on good music and dance in the sun room...), talk, draw, write--we would just "play" together. I miss having a playmate. I have friends now, but none that I can cut loose with the way I did with her. She was really something special when it came to knowing how to have fun creatively.

At the same time, there were things I know were not going to work out between us. I accept that, and am trying to move on.

When the time is right, the next "love" I have will be more wonderful than her!!! Right?!

Love,

Ren'ai

April 7, 2005
1:48 pm
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Not giving up...

You're bound to pop in and see this eventually...

Love,

Ren'ai

April 9, 2005
1:59 am
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balancesekr
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Ren'ai & Aces,

I here you Aces on the comparision stuff, don't you hate that! It gets easier, you will get to a point when you can choose to think about the comparision for a moment and then let it go.

Now regarding the title here:
I am workin on it. Haven't contacted my ex recently. I emailed last month and he so nicely e-mailed back, saying he thinks of me every day (he's still seeing someone else mind you), works all the time still and loves it and left with a sentence that maybe somehow we will talk soon. I haven't called, e-mailed or smoke-signaled.

With my new buddy, I told him how I feel, that I am still grieving and need time, don't want to lead him on, don't know where things will go.

I have listened and paid attention to my codep desires to jump right back in with the new guy and then wonder in 2-3 days, who am I kidding, one day, not even, what I am doing. I am trying to heal and then see how I really feel about him.

I am realizing what love is and what love isn't. I am trying to accept my ex for who he is and what he does and wish him the best and just try to not be too hurt that he is already with someone new and not blame myself.

Also, I am trying to understand if I really believe that I made a mistake breaking off the relationship or if I just have hard core childhood issues here.

How is that?! I've been busy 😉

April 9, 2005
2:02 am
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balancesekr
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btw, Ren'ai, I can relate, I sit and think about the good times with the ex. Painful stuff!

I do believe that we are on a path to greater things!

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