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Are you Truly Happy?
June 7, 2005
4:48 pm
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on my way
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I have recently realized that in most every area of my life, I am unsatisfied with. I cannot think of one thing that I am actually happy about. (the price to pay for getting healthy!! :-))

If someone had asked me if I was happy, my answer without even thinking about it would be , "Yes, of course I am." But I am not. Looking back on my life, I really do not have to many happy memories, blissfully happy, without some underlying stress present or a problem to jump over, as in "we are going to aunt so-so's house...be happy!!!!"

My circumstances are our of control, every area of my life is seemingly out of control...to me, from my viewpoint. Although if you knew me, I have always been the one to appeared to have it altogether!!

Are you truly happy? this is just something I went to sleep thinking about last night, knowing that my life's stance needs to change.

June 7, 2005
5:26 pm
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exoticflower
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Well, you are getting healthy, right? Or you even want to..THAT is something to be happy about, it means you have not given up on you!

June 7, 2005
5:28 pm
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ef...very true, it was just a shock that after all of my years, looking back, there were happy moments, but that overall, that I am not happy.

June 7, 2005
5:39 pm
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sewunique
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Happiness? What is happiness but for a fleeting moment? Happiness can be clouded by interferring moments, memories and uncontrolled life treasures of people and events.

Happiness is for the moment of what it "IS" about. To b e blissfully happy? That, I think is when you take the little pill of happiness mentioned with Big Brother, Brave New World.

My goal is contentment and peace, to live a good life, the best I can with my resources and what I am about.

Simply as that, OMW.

Peace, and "Keep the Faith"

SewUnique

June 7, 2005
5:50 pm
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Sew,
Point well taken.

I must not be explaining this well, or not understanding the other posts.

Will think on it more.

BTW, how is Schotz doing?

June 7, 2005
5:52 pm
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lollipop3
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Just for today.....

Just for today....I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

June 7, 2005
5:54 pm
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sewunique
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And I hate it when counselors will ask you; "what moments in your life made you happy? What were the moments or events that made you happy when you were a child?" Then......there has to be SOMETHING that happened to make you happy? Like you said:

..."we are going to aunt so-so's house...be happy!!!!"

Yah, right. Not. You see, I believe what is happiness as a rhetorical question. The answer is based upon what your view point defines as what is happiness.

With that in mind, then you have to review what are your values and goals?

Happy is as happy seems, just as "pretty is as pretty does" sort of catch all phrase.

Sorry, no quick answer for you. It is your question and your answer as well. Dwell upon it???

Two of my personal theme songs;

"I Can See Clearly Now".....the rain is gone, all of the obsticles are out of my way....I can see rainbows now the rain is gone.....gonna be a bright, bright, sunshiny day......by Jonny Nash, I believe.

The other song being "Imagine" .....there is no heaven, no hell, no country....just peace and we all are as one. Powerful song still played today and forever worthwhile.

Again, Peace to you, my friend.

SewUnique

June 7, 2005
5:54 pm
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mj
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YES!!!!!

June 7, 2005
5:57 pm
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sewunique
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mj is here!!!!! Good to see you again, dear friend. You were missed and the LaCaffe Shoppe has it's doors awaiting your return, dear hostess.

June 7, 2005
5:59 pm
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Yes!! Good ol' Abe!! Happiness is a state of mind...does not depend on our circumstances?

Any thoughts about how not to allow circumstances affect happiness? This is part of a 12 Step program, but for the life of me, without going into a hole, or drowning myself in a book or a movie when circumstances prevail...I don't know how. I always just kind of breeze through, drift I guess is a better word. Last night I realized, my life is not working. Every area is on overload and crowded. I look at it as a sign to change the pattern.

I do pray, I do have faith. But I also have to use every God-given talent and gift I have as well. Relaizing happiness is a struggle to maintain, is not a very good place to be in. And it is not depression, just a path I am on..and as usual I am fighting it rather than moving through it.

June 7, 2005
6:01 pm
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mj...welcome back, good to see you here !!!!

June 7, 2005
6:09 pm
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Rasputin
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Omw,

When I gave my heart to God/HP, I became happy, not b/s my life or circumstances are happy.

If you keep it simple, you will become happy; if you complicate things, you will end up unhappy.

Happiness is a choice not dependent on our circumstances. It is we who make ourselves happy, not others, not circumstances.

His company fills our life with happiness, even in bleak moments, trials, tests....

The bottom line is happiness is a choice!

Love,

Rasputin

June 7, 2005
6:10 pm
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sewunique
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OMW,

If you have not explained it fully, then perhaps you are still working on the problem to define it? Once you can define the problem, the solution becomes more clearly defined. Usually.

example:

Problem; I have a sore foot. Goal: No pain; fix the foot.

How do I get there to fix the foot? That's your interventions.

Me thinks you are still trying to sort IT out?

**************************

Schotz just saw the Vet and has flee allergies and is miserable. She is not HAPPY!!! But she will be in a couple hours when the flees drop off from the medication the Vet gave her. So right now she is in the bathroom, closed door, so I can clean up the mess in a couple hours.

Thanks for asking...........she, a cat, will be happy soon as the fleees don't bother her, give her some food, water, pet her now and then and of course, a tidy litter box. Her life is simple, unlike ours.

Oh, I tell her how beautiful she is, but of course, she KNOWS that...she is a Himalyan cat, after all...and she thinks she is a Queen. Her self esteem is right up there.

June 7, 2005
6:13 pm
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sewunique
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Well put, Ras, well said. I can really reflect on your ideas.

June 7, 2005
6:16 pm
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lollipop3
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OMW,

It's funny that you say about 12 step programs. I belong to a couple actually (as well as therapy) and I had said to my girlfriend one day.....ok, I now know WHY I do the things I do BUT CAN ANYBODY TELL ME HOW TO STOP DOING IT!!!!!

Whew....that felt better.

Lolli

June 7, 2005
6:31 pm
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Ras, yes me too.

My life is basically simple...work, home, church, kids, family.

Gee I hate to whine...but here goes...sorry.

Pity Party #1:
Work...thankful for a job, but my boss is control freak, another man is trying to re-live his sexual fantasies, just weird...and I truly am working beneath my abilities...but the money is good.

home: generally a place where I can re-group...now a place of stress. Some say go somewhere...I say no, I want my home to be a home.

church: AWESOME!!

kids: I'm tired, but cannot be....so worried sometimes...breaking my heart.

family: breaking my heart to lose my parents.

I am not handling these well anymore, or maybe I never did and am just now aware of it.

I know that I am no different than anyone else on these threads, all of us have our problems and trying times.

However, I seriously do not know HOW to move beyond the muck, as I have forever tried to survive IN the muck. First it was created for me...then I created it myself. Now I look behind me and say, this stuff is following me, hot on my trail....and I cannot relax, sleep, without putting a bag over my head. I just want to run, and run and run.

I am just venting...do not even know if this makes sense. And, I know where I am being called, and will be led out of this mess...but would like to be "happy" in the meantime...and do not know the HOW of it all.

June 7, 2005
6:46 pm
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mj
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Thanks Sew and On My Way....Feels good to be back on solid ground!

Attitude determines my altitude.
I can wake up in the morning and chose to focus on the positives or...
I just can't go there.

I think happiness and attitude are very similar. I love having a song in my heart and a smile on my lips. Some days it just aint there. Today it is, and for this I am grateful.

On My Way, Yours will come. Vent, share....we do care.

June 7, 2005
6:53 pm
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sewunique
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OMW,

I just read your last post here. So I am going to be honest and hope am helpful.

I have been on a hot trail of circumstances over the past two years. You are awaare of much of it all. And the saga continues for me. You have told me that I will get thru this, and so on and so forth.

So why is it different for you, dear friend? Why can you not see that is is as it is, and that you are going to have to get thru all this, however badly or well you can? Why do you question the "why" of it? Why do you question of how you should be happy and that life is not going to offer you hardships along the way to deal with? Is this not life? You will and can and ARE handling things and doing a dynamite job of it!!!

Or, are you angry? Is something else bothering you? You are in the process of digging and searching, I can see. Maybe you are right on the brink of self discovery of it all? I hope so.

Please, I am not trying to be harsh here and if what I said or how I said it came off as righteous or harsh, please let me know, okay? I, too, continue to learn, and being assertive not aggressive is hard to do for me.

The best to you,

SewUnique

June 7, 2005
7:14 pm
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I am just not lying down and saying oh, everything is honkey dory when it is not. Maybe a truth serum for me at some point. And to admit that I am not happy is nto soemthing I do very often, because my body language dictates soemthing totally different than what is in my heart.

Track Records, for the Man to be faithful...always no matter what. We do get THROUGH circumstances, we always do, and the "Man" holds our hands. I don't have a problem with that.
I will not post anymore about this until I figure it out. I know what I want to say, but the words are not there.
LAter.

June 7, 2005
7:19 pm
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mj
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Are you feeling defensive? The written word is sometimes hard to decipher. I just want you to know that when you are ready to continue this discussion I am here for you too.

June 7, 2005
7:31 pm
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mj,thank you.
no not feeling defensive. a little frustrated with myself though, as I seem to be venting and I cannot get to the bottom of what is going on with me...and it isn't that i expect others here to figure it out for me, but i do appreciate and respect all advice given here at any time...but i am in the dark...does not happen very often, as i stroll through life no matter what...so being at the foot of a mountain, and not being able to say...oh! just another mountain, wasn't this the same mountain I went around before...i can do it again!

My heart is screaming..."You can't do this anymore!!!" "Do something different"!!!

But I don't have an inkling. All I know is that I am stuck with something that I need to do something about.

RAS, if you are reading this at this point..bless you. I am used to just "doing", going around, going up, down, sideways...moving somewhere...and now I can't...no where to move to. VERY uncomfortable. Does nay of this make sense?
Love you guys. Going home for the evening.

June 7, 2005
8:13 pm
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sewunique
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OMW,

Hope you are okay as I am bothered by your confusion and frustration. What is bothering you? Maybe more than one thing? You have much on your plate right now and you should be on guard and a bit stressed. This is normal. We all know as you do that you will weather thru this stom, but is it that or something else bothering you? Besides, who can be really happpy when you have crisi issues to take care of?

As ever, am here for you. If I could make you a nice cup of tea with some Finnish pulla bread with cardamom and glazed sugar on top, I would glady serve you and just sit and listen.

Sew

June 7, 2005
8:56 pm
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Omw,

Since you mentioned in this post that
your church is awesome, I would highly recommend you to talk to pastor, or counselor, or even an female elder in your church you feel comfortable with.

What you are going through sweetie is not unusual. These are lies, they attack us even the strongest among us. So, do not feel ashamed. I do not know your situation honey, but I would for the time being (tonight) recommend you to call a prayer line and speak with one of them. They are usually trained people. If you feel uncomfotable with them for any reason, call again and speak with another one. This is what I do since right now I do not have any g/f or any church I belong to.

My heart goes out to you. I feel your pain.

(((Hugs & Prayers)))

June 7, 2005
10:27 pm
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I have just called a prayer line and asked about what you're feeling omw and I was giving the same answer I have given to you that these are satanic attacks.

I prayed for you Omw with prayer partner and I also prayed for another friend of mine.

I hope you're feeling better by now.

Please reassure me!

June 7, 2005
10:35 pm
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Thank you RAS and SEW...
and thank you for calling...i am getting more clarity on everything. Will talk tomorrow.

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