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ARE YOU REASON, A SEASON, OR A LIFETIME?
February 19, 2004
7:33 pm
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After mutually terminating a 17 year relationship with my lady partner two days ago, I just received this letter from a friend. I found it tremendously comforting. Perhaps others, who may be hurting, would like to share in that comfort.

__________________________________________

ARE YOU REASON, A SEASON, OR A LIFETIME?

Pay attention to what you read. After you read this, you will know the reason it was sent to you! People come into your life for a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON ... It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our needs have been met, our desire fulfilled, their work done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to show, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and ares of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

Work like you don't need money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
And dance like no one is watching.

___________________________________

February 19, 2004
7:37 pm
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mj
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Hugs Tez

February 19, 2004
7:42 pm
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artist 2
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Sorry Tez. I just ended a reason relationship. He just started acting like a jerk and I couldn't take it any more. 17 years must be hard. Come here for support. ±You will be valued here.

February 19, 2004
8:02 pm
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Thanks mj and Artist2.

Despite the pain, I feel good and right about initiating the discussions that led to the mutually agreed upon breakup.

I know that relationships are like train lives, they either run parallel or derailing sooner or later occurs.

In my experience, people in relationships either become stronger with time or weaken and fall apart - no in between. In my case my lady partner was unable to communicate either her thoughts or feelings. Maybe, my demeanor, rationality, education, etc was inhibiting for her - I don't know. Maybe, she was just a simple person who constantly just 'smelt the roses'. Either way we just drifted apart until every little thing became an irritation. Perhaps I was a truly a SEASON. She thought I was a LIFETIME.

Life will unfold the next chapter for me and I am truly looking forward to it. So ... it's on with the dance.

February 19, 2004
10:10 pm
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tooscared
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Hi Tez. It is strange to see you posting on this side of the threads, but I am always glad to see your posts. This time I am sad for you though. No matter how mutual the end of your relationship, it still leaves a hole that will take time to heal and close. I think you both must be extraordinary people to have loved and been together for so many years and then to know it is time to move on. I wish peace and happiness for both of you.

February 19, 2004
10:50 pm
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marley
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Tez,

I have a question, what if one of you is clarvoyant and the other one is just lost? Is that a LIFETIME relationship, or what? Or what if the other person never realizes they act like they are clarivoyant?

I wish you all the best in moving on. Knowing that you made the right decision is the best comfort.

February 20, 2004
1:57 am
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vixster
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There have been may reaons, seasons, and only a few lifetimes in my life.

I really liked this "essay". One more category - sometimers - I think we all know who they are!

February 20, 2004
8:32 am
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artist 2
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Ah... I get it. You were the breaker-upper. I wonder how is she doing? Have you asked?

February 20, 2004
12:35 pm
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bel
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Hello Tez,

Im sorry to hear of you and your partner going your seperate ways but also happy to know you are doing okay with it. 17 years was a long time and Im sure you have your good times to remember.

I believe I am a lifetime person that is why I have not found my partner yet or may never find him. But I am not worried about it because at the moment my life is full and I dont think I am lacking what I used to think I was anymore. For the moment I am content and happy.

I wish you much happiness and health and may we share a dance sometime? 🙂

Take Care
Bel

February 20, 2004
3:16 pm
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MEC
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This was really nice, thank you!

February 21, 2004
5:56 am
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eve
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Hugs to you Tez, a long relationship that goes apart needs some time for mourning until you're over it. Mutually agreed or not doesn't make much of a difference there, I believe. I send you and your ex good wishes.

February 21, 2004
1:19 pm
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Molly
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Ahhhh Tez, so sorry for the effect of the change. Its hard, damn hard. My Sybil and I were together for almost 16 years.... There is a big hole, fill it with healthy things. Ride your bike in the wind, get to the water, go out and dance with strangers, but live, try to celebrate the change.

February 22, 2004
4:18 pm
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Molly.

I mounted my trusty steed, opened her up, failed to take a corner, hit the rear brake too hard, the rear fish-tailed, did Carherine-wheels along the bitument amidst a shower of sparks. I survived with only a lot of bruises and superficial injuries. My time is not up yet - obviously.

As for dancing, since I am considered by others to be trim and a good dancer, the matchmakers are already going about their well-intentioned business.

February 22, 2004
4:34 pm
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artist 2
"Ah... I get it. You were the breaker-upper."

Ah ... no, you don't quite get it. I was the initiator of the discussion on what to do about the obviously failing relationship. As I said, the decision was mutual.

"I wonder how is she doing?"

I don't have to wonder as I know that she is hurting - as am I. But the alleviation of emotional pain is not a good reason to try to reconcile an irreconcilable relationship that has run its course. We did that 3 times before and things only deteriorated further. That is why I thought the above piece of work so comforting.

"Have you asked?" Of course - since we agreed to remain friends, we are in almost daily contact.

February 22, 2004
4:38 pm
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All.

Thank you all for your kind comments and encouragements.

February 22, 2004
6:37 pm
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Anonymous
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thanx for sharing the article tez, that teach me of how to deal with this tough life.. somehow i still need to be patient to release myself from my family, until i can be independent...

February 22, 2004
10:11 pm
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Molly
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Well, I certainly hope that the bike survived as well as you. Kisses to your wounds. Soak in the bath, and celebrate the lessons.
Tis a lesson of careless abandonment. Truly not your time yet, and yes Tez, I have seen your photo, no doubt no moss shall grow under those dancing feet. Take good care of you.

February 23, 2004
10:45 am
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mj
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Hi Tez,
I am glad that you weren't seriously injured and that your steed got your attention. Life can be short. Glad you are still with us. Best wishes in your daily moments.

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