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Are you really this stupid?
February 7, 2005
4:42 pm
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Anonymous
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Sometimes, you just have to let go without an answer. It is hard, but you have to do it because sometimes you will never get an answer. I will never get an answer as to why Mr. Jack was suck a dick, but I know it doesnt matter anymore and I have to just move on and realize that he does what he does and I have no control over him or his actions or thoughts.

February 7, 2005
4:55 pm
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addicts wife
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Maybe.. it would be more beneficial to you to change your phone ##, and block his calls.. by*__ .
He is toxic, and IF you feel temped to call, just call the movie phone ## and find out what movie is playing... YOU will get thru this, you are doing GREAT, too by the way!!!!! Hang in there.

February 7, 2005
5:05 pm
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Hurts_so_bad
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Maybe I will go through life never knowing why, but being as stubborn as I am, it's going to be a long time before I accept that. He owes me an explanation and one way or another I will get one sooner or later.
God, did I just say that? That was rather assertive on my part......could it be the anger is coming back?

February 7, 2005
5:29 pm
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Anonymous
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Let's hope anger is much better

February 7, 2005
7:40 pm
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Hurts_so_bad
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Ladies,
I am going to call it a day at the office. I'll check in later tonite and let you know how lousy my evening is. How's that for positive thinking?

Anybody have some good things happening to them?

February 7, 2005
9:50 pm
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Aces,
(my thoughts) You know I have followed your threads and your turmoil with Mr Jack. You probably did have a lot of anger and frustration pent up inside and it all just came out. Was it neccessarily right? No. But it is done, can't change the past. Did he deserve it? I think so, he's had it coming for a long time. He has treated you like crap for a long time and the one time you fired back at him, you are the one who feels bad. He has never apologized to you for all the things he's done and said to you. Sorry, but I think he had it coming!!!

Keep strong!

Love, Ladyace

February 7, 2005
10:11 pm
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addicts wife
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HOw are you today???

February 8, 2005
10:19 am
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Anonymous
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Ladyace- I had another friend state that to me as well, and it really hits home and does make me feel a lot better. I struggled last night with my actions and the things I said and although I didn't need to yell and scream them at his voicemail, I felt them and still do today and won't apologize. I said nothing to just hurt him I said what I felt I had seen in our relationship.

I won't apologize for saying those things but I did apologize for screaming them and yelling them at him. While he has had it coming, I think the best thing I should have done was not given into those feelings. What's done is done now, and I need to just move past this.

I just hate the sinking feeling I feel but what you wrote really helped me a lot. Thank you.

Hey AW- Im alright getting along, how are you doing?

February 8, 2005
11:32 am
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Cici
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Day 29 of no contanct, aces. The sensation is nothing less than amazing. The addictive desire to contact him has faded to a whimper. If I saw him, or even heard a message from him, I would probably relapse. So NC it remains.

I have determined that the recovery process is crippled and/or completely halted by continued contact with the unhealthy party.

Last week I bitched at my T about closure. She said closure doesn't require 2 people, and I wouldn't get it from him anyways, that I can and should achieve closure on my own.

She sat down and let me talk to her as if she were (a) my ex and (b) his new chick. I had little to say to my ex, funny enough I realize all the things I said to the new GF were things I wished someone had told me when I started to get involved with him.

February 8, 2005
11:42 am
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Anonymous
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Do you think if there were no restraining order you would still be talking?

February 8, 2005
1:19 pm
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Hurts_so_bad
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CiCi....wow 29 days! I am so jealous 🙂

Wish I could that.....but I keep floundering back and forth.....no contact....contact...no contact...contact. I'm really starting to drive myself crazy.

February 8, 2005
1:33 pm
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Cici
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I don't know. The last time I did see him he was wild, I feared for my life. I still do. I am afraid to walk out of my front door I keep having visions of him grabbing me and putting a gun to my head and kidnapping me.

If he hadn't gotten so violent I would probably still be talking to him. If I didn't have my best friend T to remind me constantly. If the state attorney wasn't offering him a plea bargain of 10 years in prison with no option for parole.

I admit I feel blessed in my circumstances, in some ways, because it is no contact that I cannot legally break.

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