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are they jerk automatic if they don't call when they say they will
January 27, 2005
8:09 am
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november
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hey, have a question to put out there. if a guy tells you he will call etc. and he doesn't do you automatically say well he's disfunctional etc. since he said he would call and didn't. because to me if their not interested than they should n't try to act like they are or say they will call, they should say well see you around etc. not all the bs etc. what do you think??

January 27, 2005
8:16 am
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readyforachange
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that depends, I guess...

a) did he say he'd call at a certain time/day, and called, but later than he said?

Then, I think, he might be okay...

b) did he say he'd call at a certain time/day and NEVER called and never gave an explanation for why he didn't call?

Then, I think he's a jerk...

But, there are so many aspects of being a jerk that just not calling is only the tip of the iceberg!

January 27, 2005
8:22 am
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november
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never gave a certain time or day. kind of a weird deal, but being that i have the codependent radar out i was just wondering if that is acceptable behavior, ihaven't been out in the single world for awhile so this may just be the way things are done. he gave the impression more than anything that he would call, now that i think about it i can't remember what the exact words were but just wondered if this is the way that people act and it doesn't neccessarily mean that they are narcisstic or some other disfunciton but they just didn't know how to act regarding this situation.

January 27, 2005
8:29 am
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CAMER
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HI November...if he said he would call and hasn't called within one week..then he is probably not going to...cuz if he likes you, he would want to call and talk. Sometimes men (not all) say things to gals, thinking that's what they want to hear, then they bail out for their own issues.

January 27, 2005
8:37 am
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november
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i guess now i am not so worried that he didn't call, i am more concerned about the behavior of saying one thing and doing another. i guess it is a common thing, just curious if i should see this as a red flag or just someone that didn't want to hurt your feelings etc.. i am sure i will run into this person again sometime and i didn't know if i should think "you jerk" or "its ok" how are you etc.. ???

January 27, 2005
10:35 am
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Anonymous
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Even if he did say one thing and did another, obviously he isn't worth it. I mean seriously, if he is doing that already what does it tell you about how it would be later if it were to ever work out? I think that it really is a lack of interest and respect for someone if you tell them you will do something and then not do it.

And I have been a party to that as well. I have made plans with guys and not gone and so forth, and the funny thing about it all is that most of the time, it makes them more into me, which I guess is just weird.

Must be something about the chase. But when i am really into someone, I will call them when I say I will, I will go out with them when we make plans,because I wouldnt want to screw it up, and also because I would LIKE to talk to them and LIKE to see them.

January 27, 2005
10:45 am
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marley
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november - i think you know the answer. i mean we can make excuses all we want but the bottom line is - they know how to motivate when they want something. walk away now, if you are already questioning his character, how much better can it get?

January 27, 2005
1:50 pm
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on my way
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Mars and Venus on a date, attempts to explain this. But it truly depends on you.

January 27, 2005
2:38 pm
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kathygy
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Its a big red flag if a man says he'll call and doesn't. Totally unacceptable behavior. I would forget him. He's unreliable and lacks follow through. You deserve better.

January 27, 2005
2:39 pm
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starryslp
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YES..in my eyes they are a jerk!

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