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appointment with nutritionist
July 17, 2007
12:54 pm
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loverbee
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Nice work robbie. I am reading this and I think that its important to be healthy...for yourself and no one else. That is the trick. Doing it for yourself. But being out of the relationship that I was in because although he was a sweetheart, I always believed I was doing it for him or my father. now its all about me baby. I hope everyone out there is feeling the same.

July 17, 2007
1:15 pm
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robbie2007
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thanks for reading loverbee.

my attitude about my weight has been all over the place.

my father has been relentless about it - especially when i was younger and didnt even have a weight problem. not that i was thin, but i wasnt very overweight either. he made me feel so bad about my looks. and my brothers followed in his footsteps and teased me.

then, when i was in college, as the result of a pill addiction i lost a ton of weight - was annorexic - and he never said a word about it. i thought he would be so happy that i was finally skinny. in fact, i almost died trying to get his (their) attention and approval. it didnt work.

then as i got better, i gained weight, and just kept gaining. in a way, it was a sort of rebellion. why cant we just accept people for who they are. heavy or not. if my weight doesnt bother me, then thats fine.

then a few years ago, i went on a "diet" and lost about 10-12lbs, but i still dont think it was for me. and i gained the weight back and more. i have had the attitude for a long time now, accept me for who i am. but, i think in the back of my mind - i wasnt truly happy being overweight.

and now that im starting to have some health problems - i decided, its time. and its FOR ME. indirectly my father will be pleased. (i wont embarrass him i guess). but this time its not for him. i really really want to be successful at this for my own sense of accomplishment and health.

July 17, 2007
1:25 pm
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StronginHim77
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I am a NUT LOVER. But I have learned to "ration" them carefully because they are VERY fattening. LOADED. And I make sure that I never get the ones that are salted (or even "lightly" salted). I never drink "diet" sodas for the same reason: they are loaded with salt (sodium). And that helps pack on the pounds.

What helps me keep my weight down is not having the "bad" stuff in my pantry, so I can resist weak moments better. My suggestion on the cereal? Throw it out. Reaching your goal and feeling good about yourself is more important than the $4.50 you spent on that cereal.

Also, I use smaller plates, so the portions look bigger. And I make a point of NEVER "cleaning my plate." NEVER. I always leave some food on it and toss it out. And I always eat sitting down at the table. Never standing up or moving around. ALso, I make a conscious effort to eat slowly, putting the fork down between each bite and chewing slowly. These are all tips I got when I was trying to lose weight. Hope some/any prove useful to you.

July 17, 2007
1:30 pm
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StronginHim77
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P.S. I think what you have set out to achieve is wonderful and I am rooting for you all the way! I got up to 205 lbs. with my second son and never lost the excess poundage until I was 54!! Now I am a perfect size 10/12 and have stayed at that weight for 3 years. So, YOU GO, GIRL!!!!

July 17, 2007
1:54 pm
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robbie2007
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well, i had hoped to inspire someone but it looks like i'm the one getting inspired by you all. haha - thanks stronginhim77.

July 17, 2007
2:23 pm
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loverbee
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I understand that whole father thing. I mean, my father gained control over me by telling me that the rest of my family would never really want to have anything to do with me because I wasn't the pretty one. he said I would always be homely looking and that it was a shame because my mother was a model and a playboy waitress and i would just never measure up to her. I was "gangly looking" and funny looking and I should try to find my nitch because my looks would never get me anywhere. Then when I was with my ex, he just couldn't believe my father did that and it began to wear on me because of the fact that it made me lack so much confidence. My ex realized that he had to be so careful with me and I decided I didn't want to be that fragile girl. So I tried to change it. But its still hard sometimes.

July 18, 2007
11:12 am
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robbie2007
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stronginhim77 - you know, i had thought about throwing away the cereal. but then that wouldnt teach me to set limits and to be able to have "some" of something i really like without overdoing it.

if after i really try and just cant do it, i guess i will have to not buy it anymore. but i think i can.

well, 1 week down, 6 to go before my follow up. i do think i lost a couple pounds but im not sure.

it is raining today so i guess i will have to go for my walk tonight on the treadmill. first time to use it for a long long time. i hope i can be motivated to use it when i get home tonight. or maybe the rain will stop for a bit. i would much rather walk outside.

July 18, 2007
6:25 pm
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StronginHim77
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When you get stronger, fine. There is no shame in removing "temptation." I think the sheer act of throwing it away is setting a very clear limit. You are choosing NOT to expose yourself to a temptation that you might not be ready to face, until you get stronger.

July 23, 2007
8:29 am
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robbie2007
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i blew it this weekend. need some encouragement and support.

July 24, 2007
8:35 am
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robbie2007
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July 24, 2007
9:17 am
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risingfromtheashes
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hi robbie...been hell at work...sorry I didn't respond sooner.

what's up?

July 24, 2007
9:33 am
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robbie2007
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seems like a can only keep it together for 2-3 days, then something always happens and i dont stay on track.

i thought i was ok with having cereal around the house because i had been ok for a few days of not having any at all and not even obsessing about it, or just having a normal portion. but sunday night i blew it.

its not just that though. i feel out of control in general.

i forgot my meds at work friday so i was "off" all weekend.

July 24, 2007
9:37 am
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risingfromtheashes
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your meds could be why - as your body chemistry was off - probably causing the obsession and cravings.

try to get back on schedule and see if things get better.

if you still run the same cycle, I would recommend journaling...see how you feel when you are stuck in this cycle of obsession...the time of day, the situation, the emotions you feel, what may have triggered it (a call from dad perhaps? or someone else that made you feel crappy? or a comment from someone that made you feel hopeless?).

when this happens there are two possible culprits - emotions or body chemistry.

if it's body chemistry, then eliminating the food that triggers it is the solution.

if it's emotions, then you need to work thru them to get to a better place.

July 24, 2007
9:45 am
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robbie2007
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i was feeling overwhelmed and tired.

i cant seem to get caught up with my housework. i try to tackle a small portion, but even if i achieve that, the weekend is gone and then stuff from the week add to it, then the weekend comes, i do a small portion but never really get anywhere.

i have 3 floors and cant seem to keep any of them in order.

July 24, 2007
2:31 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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robbie - with three floors and only ONE YOU - working full time - it's no wonder you can't get it all done.

here's my question - do you actually "live" on all three floors?

could you isolate your living space to one or two, so that the other area doesn't get the traffic and mess?

I find, for me, I don't have the "oomph" to get chores done after work...and if I have the energy, the last thing I want to do is chores.

and if I work half a day, again, I lose the "oomph" to get started.

usually, I have to get up, and IMMEDIATELY start in on chores, if I get distracted, it's all over, I won't finish.

For me, I work in one room, working from one side to another...usually the far end towards the door.

instead of taking something and taking it out of the room to the place it belongs, I make piles...usually I end up with more things going to similar locations (pile to head to my room, pile to the laundry, pile to the kitchen).

I get one full room done at a time..no jumping around.

if I only get ONE room done, at least it looks like it.

can you bring yourself to get rid of "stuff"? for me, I collect too much junk and then have no place to put it...so it piles up...stuff like books, nick nacks, etc...craft projects.

maybe goodwill, a yard sale or a community group could use your leftovers?

tell me, what seems to be your biggest "mess" issue that you can't deal with ? like, for me, I HATE HATE HATE doing dishes...so I resolved to have paper plates...sure, costs a little more, but sooooo much better than a sink full of dishes for days on end that kill me mentally. I also am bad about putting folded laundry away, so instead of dressers, I have shelves in my closet and I put them on shelves instead of dealing with the dresser deal....I sort them coming out of the dryer, so I don't have to sort them before putting them away.

so, what's your biggest headache and how can I help solve it with you?

oh, another, my bathroom - I am bad about that too...so I keep those lysol wipes handy and wipe the counter with them...and before I go to work, I squirt the toilet with cleaner and when I come home, I just swish it and flush...the tub...I actually scrub it while I am in it, as I can't bend and reach when I have clothes on....so I scrub it, then rinse it while I am showering....not the best for your bare skin, but I don't do it often enough to kill me...lol.

as for eating - between your meds and being discouraged with housework, you may be "drowning your sorrows" in food, thinking poorly of your housekeeping skills, which makes you feel defeated about yourself in general, which causes you to NOT TRY to eat right.

it snowballs.

July 24, 2007
2:54 pm
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robbie2007
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do i live on all 3 floors? i would have to say no. i do use all 3 floors, but spend most of my time in my bedroom.

the 1st floor consists of the livingroom and kitchen.

2nd floor is a bathroom, my bedroom, and music room.

3rd floor is kind of an extra room right now - my computer is in it which i use every night. but thats really all its used for. at one time i wanted it to be a library/craft/computer room but never got that far. theres also a bathroom in that room.

no - i have not much energy for chores when i get home. so i save it for the weekend, but then on weekends, i dont want to work - i want to spend that time resting or doing something i enjoy. am i just being lazy?

i just dont know where to begin. what room to start with. i think i would like my kitchen done first. but i keep trying for that and i never get there.

do i clean the messiest room first, or the least messiest?

July 24, 2007
3:00 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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go for the LEAST messiest...as it gives you the satisfaction that you can do it...get it done.

tackle small projects in the kitchen - like try keeping up with the dishes.

I know money is tight...but could you hire a high school or college girl to come in and help you get caught up - do a spring cleaning of sorts?

or perhaps a weekly person to do the basics like run vaccum or clean bathrooms?

maybe, once you get caught up, you can try to say "ok, will keep the living room clean for guests and make my computer room my "WRECK" room - lol - by allowing yourself to let that room get messy as it's the one that is most out of sight.

What do your "messes" consist of?

IE -

for me - in my kitchen, my biggest mess is always dirty dishes, then the floor always needs mopping.

in the living room - I always have shoes strewn about (as it's my entry), and I always have mail and other papers and books tossed about.

in my bedroom - I have baskets of clothes that need putting away, I have laundry needing to be washed, and my bed is NEVER made. Again, my nightstands and dressers are littered with wrappers or other receipts, keys, hair bands, combs, nail clippers and such.

in the bathroom - my tub usually needs a good scrubbing and the floor a good mopping.

I am pretty good about keeping up with the vaccuming as I don't mind doing it and with long haired cats, I can't ignore it.

If I didn't have my BF, I am sure my garbage would be overflowing.

so, what kinds of issues do you run into that drive you crazy?

July 24, 2007
3:13 pm
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robbie2007
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im too embarrassed to say. and if i did say, i wouldnt say everything - therefore i wouldnt be being honest and you wouldnt have an accurate picture.

i will say that dishes, garbage, laundry are some of the issues.

July 24, 2007
3:26 pm
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risingfromtheashes
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like your food thing - can you set a "schedule" where you do certain things on certain days and follow it?

I'm not good with "plans" but you seem to do well with the food plan.

like - deal with garbage the night before trash day (if you have trash day), or set certain days to take it to dumpster.

laundry - throw your clothes in the washer when you take them off - when it's full, start it up. I keep a small basket on top of dryer for my whites, which I do separately....take clothes out of dryer and fold them while watching tv at night. put them in basket in your room at bedtime...at least they are clean and folded!

dishes - get paper plates!!! seriously - another thing that helps me is rinsing everything when I drop it in the sink - then at least it doesn't get stinky and is easier once wash day arrives.

don't worry about making a bed unless you have company that will be seeing it!

keep a swiffer duster handy - swipe things when you walk by them during commercials, on your way to getting a snack.

keep baskets to "round up" things like dog toys, bills and paperwork and such...go thru baskets once a month or so...toss out what you don't need. I keep one basket for bills to be paid, one for bills paid....then eventually get around to filing them in a file cabinet....usually twice a year.

for my furniture...I keep those tape rollers that are for removing lint in all rooms - so that if company comes over, I can roll the couch and remove the bulk of the cat hair.

I make a VOW that I don't have food and dishes in any room but the kitchen...if I have drink in any other room, it's water...that way if cup gets left, it doesn't get icky...with dishes, I use paper if I go to the other rooms, so that if they don't end up in the sink, no biggie, just toss in nearest garbage can. I also keep larger size garbage cans with lids in each room.

I'm by no means someone who can tell you what you SHOULD do...I lack discipline and I only do the absolute necessary...and usually don't go thru thorough cleaning unless I get the "bug" that drives me to clean all weekend long...the other weekends I just do what I feel like doing and know that I will get to the housework EVENTUALLY.

my friends who know me accept me, mess and all.

and I don't beat myself up for it when my house is a mess...tho the dishes DO bother me...but BF is good about doing them for me.

all in all - the only things I am FAITHFUL to are laundry and vaccuming...and keeping fridge clean of icky stale foods....the rest I tackle as the mood strikes me....I WAS faithful to keeping litter box clean too...but since I am pregnant, BF does that for me...and he is diligent and does a better job than I do.

July 24, 2007
3:54 pm
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robbie2007
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thanks rising ...im just feeling discouraged right now. i just want to go home and crash right now.

July 24, 2007
4:14 pm
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robbie2007
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theres something else ...but it might require a new thread. but i dont know what to call it.

every so often, i wish i had a child. i know it would never work out. and i dont mean. someone elses child for the day - i mean, my own child.

July 25, 2007
9:59 am
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risingfromtheashes
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robbie - maybe once you get on a good path with your nutrition and cleaning, you could think about becoming a foster parent?

which could lead to adoption?

foster parenting can be short term placements, so it would give you a sense of what you want...and if it doesn't work out for you, you always know that the placement will come to an end at some point.

I think it's natural for women your age to start thinking about the fact that they don't have children.

I know for me...right now, I am struggling...cuz I really did want a baby....and I do....but when I start thinking about what I am REALLY getting myself into...OMG, I am starting to get scared.

I didn't think with my daughter...I just did.

But knowing what I went thru...OMG, I am starting to think I may be too old for this.

I am starting to think about the long term things...and realizing what I signed up for.

I know these fears will all go away once baby is here...and I am afraid to talk to BF about it....but yeah, I am starting to get worried about my decision.

I wouldn't change anything...but still have my fears.

July 25, 2007
10:11 am
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robbie2007
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i think the reason it would never work is because i dont plan on having a partner which means i have to work full time.

i dont think i would have enough time to give a child.

i also dont make enough money to support a child.

but if it werent for those 2 things, i would adopt or foster.

kinda funny, did you see the "family secrets" last night on the teenagers who gave their babys up. it showed what they went thru and all ....i so wished i was adopting a baby.

maybe some day my circumstances will change - but by then, i will be too old. im 40 now. one never knows...

do you believe in the power of prayer?

just had a thought, just wondered if i prayed for a child in my life (if it be god's will) - then it will happen. if it is not his will - then, i will accept that.

im weird huh?

July 25, 2007
10:17 am
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risingfromtheashes
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no, you are right on the money.

trusting in god should never steer you wrong.

I watched the same show and give those girls credit for doing the right thing for the baby.

know that fostering a child will give you a monthly allowance to cover costs...and it usually is pretty generous...my friend fosters and it helps supplement her budget.

plus, with an older child, you only may need after school care, vs full time daycare.

just my two cents.

I think it's wise to know what your limitations are.

July 25, 2007
10:18 am
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risingfromtheashes
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another idea - how about volunteering as a "big sister".

yes, it's not your own, but it may help you feel good that you are being a positive influence in a child's life.

you could find a child who has musical interests and help them build on that?

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