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anyone up this late hour?
October 16, 2006
2:08 am
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Gg?

October 16, 2006
2:09 am
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ggfred4
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i have a new friend that is really helping me with codependency. As I am making strides forward, I am panicking that she may leave me if I don't do things right. Then I expressed it several times for reassurance and I think I am frustrating the hell out of her. I have not only done this to her but to others in the past and have left this string of broken friendships. Then I fear abandonment more...
But, if I hold it in, I can't be myself.

This is really what is bothering me the most tonight.

October 16, 2006
2:10 am
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Anonymous
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GG

Go to bed. You have to work tomorrow. Read your books and they will help you relax. Then, go to bed. We all care about you. You are making tremendous progress...no need to panic. If it helps to know, night time used to be my worst time too. Rest for tomorrow. IT will be a new day of recovery for you. KNow there are many out there supporting you, and most of all you are taking active steps to help yourself. Soon, you will have the strategies to cope with all of this. Take care of you health and make sure you have enough sleep to began you recovery work. It is a lot to look forward to, and you are now on the right path and things with fall into place if you let them.

It's all good.

Hugs, P&L p.s. dreamboy called tonight and we are making plans! 🙂

October 16, 2006
2:10 am
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ggfred4
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don't know why I have abandonment issues???

October 16, 2006
2:10 am
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needtoheal
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THANKS ELLA// YEAH MAYBE SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE SHE IS FRUSTRATED WITH ME.. SHE JUST THINKS THAT I NEED TO MOVE ON AND HAS BEEN ENCOURAGING ME TO DO THIS FOR A LONG, LONG TIME...
SHE AT LEAST LISTENED TO ME.. I AM GRATEFUL THAT I CAN TURN TO HER...
AND EVEN THOUGH THE KIDS MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ONCE THEY GO TO BED I START TO FEEL NUMB AGAIN... IT IS SUCH A WEIRD FEELING...

October 16, 2006
2:14 am
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needtoheal
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SORRY I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THIS.. I GUESS AFTER MY RESPONSE I HAVE TO CLICK REFRESH BUTTON?? ANYBODY HERE STILL

October 16, 2006
2:14 am
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gg-

do you have to work? I don't have to tomorrow.

are you worried about not waking up on time?

October 16, 2006
2:16 am
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ggfred4
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I need sleep to function and I have to work in the a.m.

October 16, 2006
2:18 am
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GG-

You will definitely feel at least a little better if you get some sleep.

October 16, 2006
2:19 am
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needtoheal
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ELLA.. I KNOW THAT THE THREAD WILL TAKE SOME TIME.. AND I REALLY DO APPRECIATE HAVING YOU READ IT.. BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN HAVING SUCH A DIFFICULT TIME WITH THE NO CONTACT AND IF I COULD I WILL LET YOU KNOW THERE IS MORE...AND I CANT FIGURE OUT WHY DONT I JUST LET THIS ABUSIVE MAN GO ??
I KNOW ABOUT CO-DEPENDENCY... IN FACT, MY EX-HUSBAND AND I WERE EMESHED AND THEN THE NOW EX-BF AND I WERE THE SAME.. I WAS HIS CRUTCH FOR AN ADDICTION AND HE WAS MY CRUCH.. AND OCCUPIED THE LONLINESS WHILE THE KIDS WERE AT THEIR DAD FOR WEEKEND.. OR AT NIGHT BEFORE GOING TO BED..

AND NOW ALL OF THAT IS GONE... MAYBE NOT ,, HE MAY TRY TO CONTACT ME.. THIS IS THE LONGEST TIME WE HAVE NOT TALKED ..

October 16, 2006
2:19 am
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Need to heal-

It will take a while to read your thread. I'm having a hard time with my eyes tonight and reading the caps without breaks is hard for me.

October 16, 2006
2:21 am
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needtoheal
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GG... you will feel better if you could lay down and get some sleep... i have been taking a sleeping pill and even with that it is difficult for me to do.. but honestly i hope that you can lay down and think of something peaceful while laying there...

sweet dreams my friend

i will be thinking of you

October 16, 2006
2:22 am
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ggfred4
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need, I promise to read your thread tomorrow...I have got to try and go to sleep...If I can't I will come back on and see if there are any more nightowls. The bad feeling has passed; helps to not feel alone...

Thanks so much ella and need for being here tonight...I appreciate it...

October 16, 2006
2:23 am
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HOpe you feel better tomorrow GG...

Need,
I'm going to bump up your thread and finish reading it...

October 16, 2006
2:23 am
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HOpe you feel better tomorrow GG...

Need,
I'm going to bump up your thread and finish reading it...

October 16, 2006
2:24 am
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GG

Did you friend tell you she would not leave you? If so, give her a chance.

P&L

October 16, 2006
2:25 am
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needtoheal
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sorry ella... if you dont want to continue that is ok//

GG.... i know all about backslides and depression... i am going through it right now..

you are a very amazing person .. and so creative.. with your writing... think of how much you have inspired people..
rest peacefully and tomorrow is another day.. a new start at recovery..

October 16, 2006
2:25 am
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ggfred4
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yes, she did, guess I should have more faith...She has done a lot for me already...Maybe I don't have enough faith in me.

October 16, 2006
2:27 am
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needtoheal
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well i know that feeling too.... but GG WE are always here too..
good night and thanks again for wanting to help me too...

October 16, 2006
2:28 am
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ggfred4
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Maybe I don't think I deserve it and am causing this all...I just don't know

October 16, 2006
2:28 am
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ggfred4
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Your welcome need, I will respond to your post tomorrow. good nite.

October 16, 2006
2:30 am
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needtoheal
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ella--- i am a mess... i know... i was wondering when you mentioned that you had to break things off with people who were addicts and toxic, how strong you must have been... that is so inspiring to hear.. that is what i wish for.. oh, my therapist wanted me to do that for homework.. what do i wish for.. and i go see her tomorrow./

October 16, 2006
2:30 am
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Anonymous
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GG

If you cannot have faith in someone who has offered to help you, you may as well give up on everyone. Sooner or later you have to put your faith in someone, and ultimately yourself.

Letting go of all struggles and panic, and trusting someone who wants your trust and wants to help you, is a good way to start and to focus on healing. You have to let go and start somewhere or you will prove to yourself that nothing will work.

Let it happen.

P&L

October 16, 2006
2:30 am
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needtoheal
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ella--- i am a mess... i know... i was wondering when you mentioned that you had to break things off with people who were addicts and toxic, how strong you must have been... that is so inspiring to hear.. that is what i wish for.. oh, my therapist wanted me to do that for homework.. what do i wish for.. and i go see her tomorrow./

October 16, 2006
2:30 am
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mamacinnamon
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GG: Yes, I'm still up. Need something?

HI ALL

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