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anyone up, need to talk, it's gg
August 16, 2006
12:32 am
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ggfred4
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I haven't been seeing a lot of familiar names lately, getting worried... need to talk

August 16, 2006
12:44 am
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Randomwomen2
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im around tonight how are you?

August 16, 2006
12:46 am
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mamacinnamon
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hi gg

hi rw

how r u both?

August 16, 2006
12:47 am
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Randomwomen2
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I have been better I have had a rough few weeks how about yourself?

August 16, 2006
12:53 am
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mamacinnamon
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((((RW))))

I know you have. I had the migraine thing when i was pregnant the last time. It was torture. Is it lessening?

GG: How's u?

August 16, 2006
12:54 am
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ggfred4
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I don't know how I am. RW, hope you are feeling okay...

I am thinking how pathetic I am that I am now going to this site seeking comfort and friendship from people I will never meet...I am even becoming codependent on all those who have answered, especially RW, mama, Jen, Loving, P&L, Sin, and 2find (don't know what happened to her) I mean that I look for you guys each day as an anchor to hang on to...pathetic, aren't I? I hope I just worded this in an understandable way because I don't even understand it.

I am back at work and my students start tomorrow. Normally, I am excited for the first day, yet I feel nothing. Things are just not getting better in my life. I have tried hard this year. But again, my problems are no way as bad as most people on this site.

I just don't want to go to bed, just need someone...

August 16, 2006
12:56 am
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Randomwomen2
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You have me sweetheart. I dont want to go to bed for a while anyway cause I had horrible nightmares. As far as my experiences go things always get better even if it takes a while it will happen

August 16, 2006
12:57 am
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ggfred4
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I think "a while" is going to be the rest of my life. I can't beat the depression.

August 16, 2006
1:00 am
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Randomwomen2
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Sweetheart that is where you are wrong hunny. YOU CAN BEAT IT!!!! I know you can. YOu have to be ready which is a big one and you have to be willing to do what ever it takes to beat it sweetheart. It may seem like an eternaty but its not sweetheart

August 16, 2006
1:01 am
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mamacinnamon
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GG:

Honey, there is NO better or worse problem on this site. Each person's pain is just as valid and horrible as the next. Each of us deal w/ problems in our own way. So, let's stop that attitude right off. (spoken only w/ care.)

You are a teacher? Wow do I admire you. I'd not want that job.

August 16, 2006
1:04 am
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mamacinnamon
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Good advice RW. I'm agreeing w/ her. 🙂

August 16, 2006
1:06 am
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Randomwomen2
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Im to warm and kind of sticky right now so Im going to hop in the shower I will be back in about 15 minutes.

August 16, 2006
1:07 am
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ggfred4
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Okay, I have got to release stuff, doesn't even matter if anyone reads or reply...I am used to it.

1.I am tired of being the nice one, the good friend, and yet no one wants to be that way with me. Yes, I know I am codependent. The whole summer went by and I had maybe two people call me, one to get together.
I feel like I have leprosy or something. I have tried to become a good listener, help those in need, etc. I am ignored by people who said they cared for me. I have tried very hard to detach myself and stay friendly from a safe distance....still hurts...This problem is what hurts me the most.
2.My dad who sexually abused me has colon cancer and chemo not working...can't even deal with that...feel guilty and numb...
3.My last child moved out yesterday, but lives in the next town at the university. Mixed feelings on the empty nest situation
4.positive thing: My husband and I are getting along better than we ever had. I think we both realize that all we have is each other, so we'd better work on that relationship.
5.Oh, and add that I have gained 30 lbs. this year due to this damn depression. I am having surgery the end of November and I have got to take that weight off! The I don't give a damn attitude is hurting in this area.

Well, that's the top 5.

August 16, 2006
1:09 am
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mamacinnamon
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I'm still here... I'll read.

August 16, 2006
1:10 am
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ggfred4
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Mama and RW,
Actually teaching is the highlight of my life, I love it. It is extremely challenging and never boring...keeps my mind off of me while working.

I am not sure that I can beat depression. I have tried, but tired of the cycle.

August 16, 2006
1:13 am
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mamacinnamon
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GG:

Have you been checked for thyroid or chemical imbalances? Sometimes the depression is not an attitude or frame of mind, but a medical condition.. Are u in counseling, or have you been?

August 16, 2006
1:17 am
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ggfred4
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Mama,
I went to the doctor last Nov., diagnosed major depression, tried effexor XR. Worked awhile, then faded out, then major problems, thoughts of suicide and began cutting the inside of my arms. Scared me enough to see a counselor. Started off okay, changed to cymbalta, worked awhile, then faded out. Counselor became a disappointment on 3rd visit (july). Finally, felt guilty about spending so much money w/little help. Decide to quit counseling, meds, and try to take control of my life. I am not any better, nor am I any worse. Just same me, yuck!!!

August 16, 2006
1:21 am
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mamacinnamon
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ok, for your top 5.

1. Yes, I know this feeling all to well.But, I still choose to do the kind thing.

2. I'm sorry th

3. I have 2 kids gone and 1 left at home. It must be hard to wake up and know that your time is yours. Do you have anything you like to do tht you can fill those awkward times w/?

4. I do hope you and hubby get closer.

5. Dang girl. Hit a nerve there w/ me too. But mine is wearing thqt damn breathing thing in the night. But not an excuse for me nor for you. If you are gonna beat the depression ou must do whtever it takes.

any comments?

August 16, 2006
1:24 am
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Randomwomen2
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im back sweetheart I am so sorry that you are going through so much. Mama do you have sleep apnea??

August 16, 2006
1:28 am
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mamacinnamon
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I want to ask you something on #5. You said. "don't give a damn attitude is hurting in this area."

My question is WHY? Is it because you feel nobody cares? Is it because you feel "why bother nobody will notice? I was wondering coz I know that I have the attitude coz of that.

Ya know, it really sounds like maybe there is more goin on than just depression.

August 16, 2006
1:29 am
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ggfred4
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I have things to do, read books, work in yard, but many times don't feel like it. Just want to get pumped up and motivated to exercise and take it from there...But, I am having a total knee replacement in Nov., due to a high school knee injury many years ago so I can't do much now. I can walk and need to. I just keep getting swallowed up in this depression.

August 16, 2006
1:31 am
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ggfred4
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Mama, #5...I don't know why, maybe I do think nobody cares, but I should.

Please tell me what you mean by something else going on besides depression. I really want help...

August 16, 2006
1:33 am
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mamacinnamon
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Yes, severe sleep apnea due to weight gain due to excessive predisone ueeage 4 years ago due to pneumonia, asthma, shingles due to fibro. It all trickles back up the waterfall.

GG: That is enough to make anyone depresed. It's hard to have to face when we can no longer do the things we love or want to whether it be from an illness, injury or just getting older. (((( gg ))))

August 16, 2006
1:33 am
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Randomwomen2
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My sis in law had massive depression or atleast thats what she thought it was and so did the docs she was also tired all the time. Well they ran some new tests and tested her thyroid and its not working properly so now shes on some meds for that and her depression has disapered

August 16, 2006
1:34 am
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ggfred4
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I need help...I have tried...I want to change my life...nothing has worked...please, please give me any advice.

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