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Anyone up.. i need some sort of guidance, i can't sleep and feel like i'm going to vomit
October 31, 2006
3:51 am
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blyxx
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Anyone awake tonight? I'm going through a realyl hard time...

October 31, 2006
3:58 am
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bonita1
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whats the matter, blyxx? I was just about to head off for bed and caught sight of your thread.

Whassup?

~~bonita

October 31, 2006
3:58 am
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Worried_Dad
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Hi blyxx

I'm on my to bed. But I really hate vomiting.

So what's up, home-blyxx?

October 31, 2006
3:59 am
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blyxx
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If you're gonna go to bed, go to bed.

I dont want to keep anyone up who is going to go to sleep, because i know once they leave, i'm going to feel neglected and somehow hold it against them even though it's not at all their fault.

I'm just not stable like i thought I was.

October 31, 2006
4:00 am
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bonita1
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Worried Dad, whats that about vomiting? Blyxx or you?

~~bonita

October 31, 2006
4:01 am
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blyxx
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Really, if you want to go to bed, please do so.

I'd rather not spill out what i have inside of me (vomit or otherwise) when all it will end up doing is frustrating the recipient of my news.

October 31, 2006
4:02 am
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bonita1
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Awww, blyxx, I'm so sorry but I am fading fast...can't seem to keep my eyeballs open...

If its ok, I will check on you tomorrow.

(((((blyxx))))

~~bonita

Nite, WD.

October 31, 2006
4:03 am
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blyxx
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thank you bonita.

October 31, 2006
4:04 am
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Worried_Dad
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See I figure if someone is about to vomit, anything a person might do to help...

Unless they ate poison and need to vomit.

Blyxx, you didn't eat any poison stuff did you?

October 31, 2006
4:09 am
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blyxx
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No, but it did cross my mind to maybe try some.. I'm passed the idea of suicide, I've realized how stupid of a thought that was to have months ago.

SoulSister brought me out of that hole.. now i seemed to have entrenched myself in another.

I'm going to just tell you the short version of the story, even though it is always the story that is the type that will leave out everything I want you to know.

I fell in love two years ago with my first love. We broke up after 3 months. Strange summer love, but it was love. I haven't felt a thing for any of my girlfriends in between. We break up, and I feel nothing. No remorse, never missed them, nothing.

One month and eleven days ago I start dating another girl. She made me finally feel something again. It was wonderful. It turned into love. I never told her, but I knew it was.

Everything is fine, and one day she breaks up with me for seemingly zero reason. We talked earlier that day, it was fine. Then two hours later, she calls saying we have to break up.

Now I'm going to be sick because I saw a message someone wrote her saying that her and this one boy should date.

I was about to go to bed when I saw.. now I can't sleep and my stomach is nauseous.

October 31, 2006
4:20 am
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Worried_Dad
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Im glad you are past the suicide thing, blyxx; you desrve better than that.

I dont blame you for being nauseated though.

Catch you tomorrow.

October 31, 2006
4:22 am
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blyxx
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goodnight.

October 31, 2006
4:22 am
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blyxx
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is anyone else awake maybe?

October 31, 2006
5:19 am
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samantha j
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im here you still there?

October 31, 2006
5:37 am
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blyxx
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yes i'm still wide awake.

October 31, 2006
5:39 am
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blyxx
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my shortened story is a little ways up...

i'm currently writing a rather lengthy letter to her... i'm trying to be honest.. and explain to her what she meant... or perhaps i should burn the letter... i'm torn between both options.

October 31, 2006
5:50 am
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samantha j
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My advice would be to burn the letter its a good release for you to get out all your built up feelings but you might regret what you said later if you send it too her. If you really feel like writing her a letter maybe you should do it when you are feeling a bit more neutral about the situation and not so upset. The best revenge is to be happy and shes more likely to realise what shes missing. Give her some space if you want to get back together with her and shes more likely to come running back than if you beg her or appear needy. Its worked for me in the past. Ive done both ive gone running back begging them to come back too me and they havent and it just makes you feel even worse about yourself and desperate. When ive left it and just tried to get on with my life my exes have come back normally by that time you are so happy and realise they were no good for you you dont want them back.

Hows the sickness going are you feeling any better?

October 31, 2006
5:59 am
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blyxx
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i still have been awake for almost 24 hours...

that's not like me.

my stomach is still turning over... espcially when i see something that reminds me of her... although my mind is constantly on her.

i'm trying to not talk to her, but when that happens she always sends me a message, "I MISS YOU" and then i'm sucked back in. i just feel like a little toy, a yo-yo almost.

i hate the feeling, but i love her.. i'm trying to make myself not run after her. i'm 're'befriending some old acquaintances, a couple want to go out on dates with me. and still i'm telling myself, i won't like being out with them. i just feel it.

i'm giong to ignore her tomorrow and see what comes of that.

although i already sent her a couple messages asking her about what the whole, "You two should date" thing is... hopefully she dismisses my doubts... or confirms them. either way is closure.

October 31, 2006
6:02 am
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blyxx
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it's 3AM and i am supposed to wake up at 5am... wish me luck tomorrow at work. heh.

October 31, 2006
6:10 am
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samantha j
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You must be so tired no wonder you feel sick you poor thing. Work might be good just to take you mind off thinking about her. I know what you mean i get sucked in with the i miss you thing as well. Ignoring her tomorrow would be a great thing to do she might realise whats shes missing. All i know constantly messaging someone when they instigated the break up only makes you look desperate and makes them less interested. Try and play it cool dont answer her straight away when she contacts her it will make her wonder what you are doing. If you need advice on what to do if you are thinking about contacting your ex read the post a couple of days ago titiled i think how do i not contact my ex. I was asking people for advice as im going through a break up too there are some good suggestions on there which i followed.

October 31, 2006
6:17 am
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blyxx
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i'm hoping that i'm tired as hell tomorrow that way when i'm babysitting tomorrow night (so my sister can go out).. i'll be passed out

that's my hope.. also i still have some sleeping pills my doctor gave me a while back when i was suffering from insomnia, so i may take one of those tomorrow too if i dont pass out.

i was tired earlier, then i layed down in bed, and woke up, and wasn't able to sleep. i'm just so angry.

i've been not texting her or replying back to her... she's called me 3 times today, i never called her back. it was my birthday, she said happy birthday at 1am, at 7am, and then at around 3pm. left messages, that i deleted. i still have her voicemails that i want to have incase we do end up getting back together, that is my dream. but then again, if i dont sleep anymore, i won't dream. looks like i'm screwed.

i'll just go out this week with the other girls that are interested me, i dont think it matters if i do anything with them since we're not together. ya, taht should work. i'll get the attention, and make her jealous. i'm definitely ok with making her jealous.. and if it comes down to it, i'm going to hurt her if she hurts me.

"two wrongs don't make a right" who cares. i'm over being mr. nice guy all the time.

October 31, 2006
6:25 am
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blyxx
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i'm going to attempt to pass out for a couple hours... hopefully i can now. if not i'll be back.

thanks sam.

October 31, 2006
6:40 am
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samantha j
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ok good luck with it all tomorrow hope you are not too tired keep me posted

October 31, 2006
8:11 pm
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blyxx
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soulsister is convincing me to not make contact with her.

i'm trying to meet other girls to go out on dates with, or just to hang out with. so far not a whole lot of bites, but it's only been a few days that i've been trying.

any advice?

October 31, 2006
11:15 pm
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blyxx
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i'm feeling sick to my stomach again... just because it's halloween, everyone is out and i'm stuck babysitting for my sister because the plans i had with this girl had to fall through because she broke up with me last week.. i had no time to get any other plans, and so i got stuck babysitting.

i tried to get something set up to where i wouldn't be alone.. now i'm alone. and i'm sick.

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