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Anyone on for a talk??
November 8, 2004
10:06 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Hi anybody

November 8, 2004
10:06 pm
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bubishi76
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Hey Mama, what's up?

November 8, 2004
10:09 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Hi Bub, how r u tonight?

Not having such a good day myself.
Will you be on in an hour to talk? Really could use a friend but have to get hubby up and out the door.

November 8, 2004
10:10 pm
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bubishi76
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Yeah,
I'll should be here in an hour. Don't plan on going anywhere.

November 8, 2004
10:11 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Thank you. I'll be back after I get him out the door to work.

If you have something come up that's ok too.

November 8, 2004
10:13 pm
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bubishi76
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I'll be here with my eye on this post. Just let me know when you're back.

November 8, 2004
11:20 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Hi Bub, I'm back, sorry a little later than I had said.

November 8, 2004
11:21 pm
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bubishi76
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It's alright Mama, how are you??

November 8, 2004
11:23 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Better. I just had a weak moment. Happens.

November 8, 2004
11:25 pm
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bubishi76
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I know all about the weak moments. having one myself. You doing good now or are you still blue?

November 8, 2004
11:28 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Still blue, but I'll be fine. Always am. Having to face ourselves isn't always pretty ya know.

I'm sorry. Still problems w/ Deb?

November 8, 2004
11:30 pm
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bubishi76
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What's the matter Mama?? What do you mean by facing yourself?? Well, still don't know with Deb. SHe won't be back from her conference till tomorrow night or wednesday. She hasn't called today. Bums me out a bit. I just get a real bad feeling when she hasn't called.

November 8, 2004
11:33 pm
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mamacinnamon
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I used to get that call when my ex didn't call, but I knew he couldn't be trusted. Deb doesn't seem like anything against you is going on. Think she just needs space from what you have written. And YOU need to learn to have a life too. Have you been working on it?

I answered a post here tonight and then feel bad that I did. Everything I said was true, but the truth is sometimes more than I want to deal with, ya know? Then again, do we ever really face the truly bad things about ourselves?

November 8, 2004
11:36 pm
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bubishi76
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No Mama,
I don't think we really do. I mean, sometimes we do. It just gets to be real hard. I've been trying to work mentally at least. What post was it? Maybe if I read it I can better understand.

November 8, 2004
11:39 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Had to go look. lol

Growing apart at this stage of life.

Gosh, I hope I didn't upset that poor man.

November 8, 2004
11:42 pm
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bubishi76
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I believe I answered that one too if it was the one about being married for 30 years.

November 8, 2004
11:43 pm
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mamacinnamon
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yes it was

November 8, 2004
11:47 pm
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bubishi76
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Wow Mama,
I think that it may just help him to gain perspective. It is amazing that you maintain strength the way you do in order to really give people sound advice. Hugs to you Mama. I think it was a great post.

November 8, 2004
11:50 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Can I ask you.....

I copied what he wrote and what I wrote so I could print it and my hubby could see how I feel.

I don't know whether to print it or not. He's not happy that I am on the computer, but there isn't much else for me to do and this way I do have people I can talk to. But, he's not happy I am on it nontheless.

From a man's point....How would you feel if your wife was online and wrote that about him and I. Would you print it out and leave it out for him to see?

November 8, 2004
11:55 pm
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bubishi76
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I think that you should "talk" to him. I think that if you print it, and leave it around then he might feel a little betrayed. Like, I don't want Deb talking to anyone really about us. I know she does and there is nothing I can do about that but I think that she just tells all. Probably not but that is what I 've thought in the past. Kinda makes me feel as if a "private" thing is breeched. It's OK that you are here on the computer but look at it this way. IF he doesn't like you writing to us, then how do you think he will feel or react to find out that you are writing personal stuff?? I think it would be better if you talk to him. If you must write it, just do it as a word document like you were jsut writing it, not like a response here.

November 8, 2004
11:55 pm
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LEILEI
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b- i think you should let ron borrower some of those porns

mama-you are more that right on!

November 8, 2004
11:58 pm
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bubishi76
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I agree Leilei.
Hey question,
Should I try calling Deb tonite? Or should I just keep doing this space thing? I would probably get her v-mail anyway whether she's asleep or out I don't know???

November 9, 2004
12:01 am
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mamacinnamon
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Good idea. When I try to talk to him he says he knows and we don't need to get into it.

His problem on the computer is that I don't know who I am talking to and I am way to trusting of a person and I might say something personal about us or give enough info someone might know where we are from. I think he's a bit paranoid. lol

I did print a poem once that a girl w/ my illness wrote about it on another site and I left it laying there. He read it and didn't say a word. Just went to his room for a long time. His cave, which is his area that I don't bother him. He just doesn't talk about this.

I should just be so grateful that I know he loves me and is here and not rock the boat per se

November 9, 2004
12:04 am
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bubishi76
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Mama,
You have to understand that it probably does hurt him that you are facing this battle and he has no power to really help you. Makes him feel helpless. He knows that loving you is about all he can do. I know that I may not want to discuss it if Deb were to have something bad. I would hate that htere would be nothing I could do. He probably hates seeing you hurt. Think of it that way, that's why he tells you he knows.

November 9, 2004
12:05 am
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mamacinnamon
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Good point.

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