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Anyone on for a talk??
November 2, 2004
11:00 pm
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Zinnie
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Where are your friends?

Do you have any friends at work that you can do something with?

Are you a member of a church?

What kind of movies do you like?

November 2, 2004
11:05 pm
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bubishi76
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My friends are back home.1824 miles away. I try to keep myself seperate from people at work. Keeps me safe and impartial. I have been talking to one guy that could eventually be a friend. Not a member of a church. I love almost all movies. I really enjoy romantic comedies. I've always loved those.

November 2, 2004
11:12 pm
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CAMER
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so bubishi, why not curl up on the couch and watch a good movie, and enjoy YOUR own company and keep the focus on you and the movie...this is your life, so try to keep it as peaceful and happy as possible!!!!

November 2, 2004
11:15 pm
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bubishi76
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You know what I find as funny,
Theory and how things are suppose to be. Then, you throw in human emotion and that changes things.

November 2, 2004
11:17 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Oh Bub, Wish you weren't down so much of the time. What is it gonna take to get you up and doing something (without her).

November 2, 2004
11:18 pm
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CAMER
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bubishi...cant you have fun by yourself???just watching a movie, and knowing that things may change for you and your gf and know that you will still live life, and breathe...etc....life is hard, but you may as well enjoy your own time and let nature take its course (with your gf getting her space) trust me, she will appreciate the fact that you are doing things for yourself.

November 2, 2004
11:18 pm
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mamacinnamon
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PS. Hi Camer and Zinnie

November 2, 2004
11:19 pm
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bubishi76
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Mama,
At night, when the day is done and thoughts run wild. I could snuggle with her and the whole world didn't matter. No matter how bad the day was. I just wanna hold her. Is that so wrong???

November 2, 2004
11:21 pm
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CAMER
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no there is nothing wrong with having that "close" connection with the one you love...but for now, you need to take a step back, give her the space she wants....and try to thing positively, but in the process keep living life, do things that you like to do.

ps...hi Mama!!!

November 2, 2004
11:21 pm
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mamacinnamon
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No not wrong, but you are giving her space. Maybe a teddy bear would help. Got one for my friend when she felt like she needed a hug.

November 2, 2004
11:21 pm
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time2heal
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I know that a little intense physical activity can release some good brain chemicals,it tends to elevate the mood and also help you to sleep better.It might be worth a try.Either way, hang in there there is hope right around the corner. take care

November 2, 2004
11:22 pm
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CAMER
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Mama & Bub...i do the same thing, i snuggle up with this light green bunny (stuffed toy animal) when I get lonely...its the lil' child in me coming out...but it feels good holding that lil' animal!

November 2, 2004
11:24 pm
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bubishi76
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Been squeezing the hell out of a pillow mama. Still not her. I shouldn't try to call her tonite should I?? Not even to say good night??

November 2, 2004
11:25 pm
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mamacinnamon
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NO NO and NO

Give her space.

November 2, 2004
11:25 pm
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CAMER
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bub...that is not giving her space....see this coda on her is most likely driving her away...you told her today that you love her...just get thru tonite...and don't call...wait and see how you feel in the morning..you will survive this Bubishi, you will.

November 2, 2004
11:29 pm
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bubishi76
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OK,
No call. Boy, sure would like to know how she is.

November 2, 2004
11:31 pm
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CAMER
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and she too could be wondering how you are....but she is not calling....and you should do the same don't call.....and let go....try not to think too much on this, 2morrow is another day.

November 2, 2004
11:45 pm
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mamacinnamon
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I'm sorry I have to go. Hubby wants to talk on the phone..(i'd rather stay).

Bub, you take care tonight and DO NOT call her. If you call her now you will be undoing all the hard work you hve put in so far.

Night Bub and Camer.

November 3, 2004
12:16 am
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Anonymous
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Zinnie...

Read the thread "what time is it now"

You will see...

November 3, 2004
12:24 am
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art angel
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Bub,
focus on the really small things in life. I just ate a really really good apple. mmmmm. What else- the way the sunlight streams in my window in the morning, how good it feels to shampoo your hair. Stuff like that. There's other things in life that are good besides having a significant other. (wow I can't believe I've come this far...)

love
art angel

November 3, 2004
1:09 am
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Zinnie
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Bub,

When I moved here all of my family and friends were either in Los Angeles or Montreal - and I ended up in Dallas by myself. Didn't know a soul here.

Made some really good friends, and did some stuff by myself. Pretty soon, guess what? I was having fun.

You can do it, and did you read my other post on your other thread? You never did reply to it... but, you have got to get it together. As I said, you cannot make one person the single center of your universe. You just can't.

Z.

November 3, 2004
4:22 am
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samrhimom
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Have you thought about writing in a journal? I do that when I am extremely upset. That way you can let her know what you are thinking and feeling. Just helps get the emotions out.

November 3, 2004
8:07 am
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eternaloptimist
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Hey buddy!

I know this is hell right now, but stay strong and don't call her. Not even today! One day of space will not do the trick. I wish I could be there to keep you occupied right now.

I have found that writing down my feelings helps relieve some of the anxiety. Try it and see what happens. Remember, I am in the exact same situation you are right now. I struggled for months before I finally got her point. Now that I don't attempt to contact her at all, she is calling me two and three times a day. She even told me she has been missing me lately. You want the same thing, don't you? You want her to reach out to you and miss you. The only way to accomplish that is to leave her alone and let her seek you out.

Please don't take this wrong...stop being so selfish. When I admitted to myself that I was being selfish and controlling, I was able to do something about it. Now that I have acknowledged how I was acting, I realize I was the cause of her wanting space. It sucks, and I still feel the same way you do about wanting to be together with her all the time. My point is, I can't have everything I want. I realize she was meeting my needs for such a long time, I was spoiled. When she realized my needs and expectations were bigger than she could give, it caused her to retreat. The pressure was just too much for her. That's waht is going on with Deb right now. Please try and understand that.

This is why you have to totally back off for a while. Stop thinking about how bad you hurt right now and start thinking about her feelings and needs. Calling her would be a selfish thing to do. You keep mentioning that you wonder if she misses you and how she feels about you. Wait for her to tell you. You and I have both taken that away from our women. Hell, they don't even have the chance to miss us.

Eternal

November 3, 2004
9:16 am
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bubishi76
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Eternal,
I see what you're saying. I can't even work today. I'm going to the Doc so I can get the day off. then I'll be on my break cycle till Sunday. I just don't want to face the world.

November 3, 2004
9:22 am
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bubishi76
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Anyone there this morning?

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