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anyone else having a rough night?
July 19, 2005
9:49 pm
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Just Lost
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Darkness has set in and I am sitting here alone. After a great day yesterday, that wave of anxiety has struck me again. Although not as powerful as the past ones, it is still depressing.
I think I'm going to pick up the phone and call someone. I want to call my wife but I know she has no feelings for me any longer and is probably with the other man any way. If tonight is a bad night, here's your thread to pour it all out.

July 19, 2005
9:59 pm
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Anonymous
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Just Lost, so sorry that you are having such a rough time. Unfortunately it's the rollercoaster of grief, coming to terms with what has happened, and wondering if you'll always feel this way. Well, I'm here to offer you HOPE! You WILL make it through, but you must go through the fire instead of trying to go around. Allow yourself to cry when you need to, yell when you need to, hit something (inanimate) when you need to:) Whatever it takes for you to get through the frustration that you are feeling at this very moment. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! You have friends here who are walking the same identical path as you. Vent here, find support here, and on better days YOU will be the one to pull another through who is struggling. T

July 19, 2005
10:02 pm
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Anonymous
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Just Lost, so sorry that you are having such a rough time. Unfortunately it's the rollercoaster of grief, coming to terms with what has happened, and wondering if you'll always feel this way. Well, I'm here to offer you HOPE! You WILL make it through, but you must go through the fire instead of trying to go around. Allow yourself to cry when you need to, yell when you need to, hit something (inanimate) when you need to:) Whatever it takes for you to get through the frustration that you are feeling at this very moment. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! You have friends here who are walking the same identical path as you. Vent here, find support here, and on better days YOU will be the one to pull another through who is struggling. Be good to yourself, call a friend, take a walk. Don't let the thoughts of her creep in. Take them captive!!! You can do...I know you can. Praying for you this moment...plz ~

July 19, 2005
10:03 pm
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Anonymous
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Oops, sorry for the mess up guys..I'm trigger happy tonight:)

July 19, 2005
10:05 pm
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starkist1956
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Hi,doesnt the anxiety just take one over so powerful that you cant think of anything but the one thing you have no control over...I am at the point when I know he is out ...with someone else I cant sleep or sometimes stop my self from hunting him down from bar to bar just to be kicked in the heart agian by him and what ever bimbo he picked up for the night usally a good 20 years younger that him or myself ....dressed like a hooker ....I wounder over and over why and how could he treat me so bad ...but I know I am the only one that can change ...13 years of trying to chage him has only made me a shell of who I am .

July 19, 2005
10:50 pm
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Just Lost
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starkist, you have hit the nail on the head. that is exactly how I am feeling right now. I want to go find out even though I know that is the worst thing I could ever do.....

July 19, 2005
10:50 pm
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Just Lost
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starkist, you have hit the nail on the head. that is exactly how I am feeling right now. I want to go find out even though I know that is the worst thing I could ever do.....

July 19, 2005
10:56 pm
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22haha
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Thats it for me too - always wanting to know why? I know why- because he's an idiot, thats why. I (and y'all) are better than these abusive people. Thats just my 2 cents.

July 20, 2005
1:49 am
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Cinamac
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Dark night of the soul....it is so rough

I remember over two years ago when I left the mayhem of that crazy life of abusive people. You need to drug yourself and fill it with pitiful people to lead that life. It never gets better. So you go through it, or you jump back.

I chose to stay out of it. And I am happy to report it GETS BETTER!!! I promise if you stay out, don't phone, get straight, work on yourself you will look back on this as your winter. You need the winter to get to the spring. You are in the cacoon- a black mucky mess, but given time, you will emerge a butterfly...then it is a little strange getting used to your new life...but it is surprising how many butterflies there are out there.

My winter was like child birth. I remember how ugly and painful it was. But it brought beauty to my life. I don't really remember, but I have compassion for every mother in labour this minute. As I do for you, suffering your separation.

All the best

Cinamac

July 20, 2005
1:54 am
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luv2luvher
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Just Lost,

I know how you feel. I sit here every night feeling that way. It always seems to set in after dark. I do fine during the day cause I try to keep myself active, but at night that is a little harder to do. I find myself sleeping more then I should. I do know that having this site helps as well as with time I seem to be getting more use to the feelings I have and how to extinguish them or just cope with them. But other then that I am right now working on some coding for my job so that has been keeping me busy at night. I hope you are alright. Take care.

Much Luv,
Luv2LuvHer

July 20, 2005
2:06 am
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Just Lost
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in a lot of pain. I made it a little more than one day before it returned. Thoughts of her are running wild in my mind. I wonder where she laid her head tonight. And if it is in someone else's bed

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