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anyone depressed, loved ones can't understand?
September 16, 2005
3:12 pm
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alyssa
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It has taken me a long time, and alot of reading on here to admitt that i need some medication for some depression. The longer I wait the more long bad days I seem to be having.

I told my husband that I thought I needed to go to the Dr. and maybe get on some med. He just thinks I am down and need to talk to him. I told him I don't have anything to talk about. He thinks I am hiding something from him and that I wont talk about it and that it is bothering me so bad. It's just not true. but the it's hard to explain and make him understand when he has that in his head.

Now I have guilt of making him question me and he sulks and acts dissappointed when i say i don't have anything that I need to talk to him about.

Any ideas? How do you make someone understand something they have never experinced? I'm so tired of being sad and exhuasted, and tired of worrying about everyone. I'm just tired!

September 16, 2005
3:14 pm
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gayle
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Truth is you can't but he loves you and wants you to talk to him. What is on your mind when you get down? Is there something triggering these feelings?

September 16, 2005
3:16 pm
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gayle
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does this have to do with the NC and your friend? Is this a guy friend?

September 16, 2005
3:25 pm
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alyssa
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I have talked to him about a lot of things lately. We have been working thru alot of things. I think he isn't trusting me right now and thinks I need to tell more. Like he thinks i am guilty of something that I would feel better about if I talked to him.( he hints to this anyway.) But I don't have anything.

Yes, this friend I am NC is male. And before anything happens wrong I am staying away. I am trying to be a good person and do what is right.

What can I tell my husband to make him back off from me a bit. I haven't crossed any lines and I just want some pressure off of me. So much in life is overwhelming to me. I can't hardly controll my feelings anymore.

How are you today gayle?

September 16, 2005
4:38 pm
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Anonymous
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I would say that your medical care is your business and if you need to see a doctor, then go - don't worry about his opinions.

on the flip side - if he is worried about what's going on - and maybe not understanding this depression or what's behind it - you guys can do some short term joint therapy.

I know that when my mom attempted suicide my dad didn't understand why. He went to therapy with her, but wasn't open to hearing things - and only heard what a wonderful and supportive husband he was...the rest was all lost on his inability to hear or comprehend what he was told. Had he listened, he probably would not have lived for so many years in fear she would try again.

so if your husband wants to know what's up - and persists - how about you trying therapy alone to get your thoughts on the right track, then bring him in so he can be assured it's not about anything he needs to worry about.

I had a therapist once that said that all depression has a trigger - that something causes it - that the blues for no reason does not exist. I don't buy it - but she had a license, so who knows...she was a quack in many other ways too.

September 16, 2005
5:03 pm
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gayle
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I am doing pretty good! You are doing the right thing with the NC- BEFORE things go too far- know there is no judgement here! Make sure he knows that this has nothing to do with him that it is something you need to work on for yourself. He is probably feeling some insecurities b/c there is nothing for you to say and its hard for him to understand. Just take care of you. Have to head home for the day! Will check in soon! Take care!

September 16, 2005
5:36 pm
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alyssa
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Just got done talking to my husband on the phone again. He is trying so hard to find a reason for this.

You know maybe there is always a reason for getting so blue, but you know what when you are feeling sad and overwhelmed all the time you just can't pinpoint it yourself you know.
If I had answers I probably wouldn't think about going on medication.

I will try to understand that he is worried and loves me and try to just reassure him that i love him too.

thank you!

September 19, 2005
9:45 am
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gayle
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Alyssa- How was your weekend? Feeling any better? Sometimes if the depression is not too sever just talking to a therapist might do the trick. I know that b/c you aren't talking to your friend that has to be making you sad and while it was the best thing to do for you it still takes time to heal. If it would help- tell me more about your friend and try and get it out so you can let it go. Take care! I am here for you!

September 19, 2005
10:13 am
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columbia
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One thing that might help is to tell your loved one your plans. For example going to the doctor, look for a therapist, Starting a journal etc. Reassure them you are going to do something to help yourself. hope this helps

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