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Anyone Awake?
March 18, 2006
11:42 pm
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Randomwomen2
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Is anyone still awake the site is really quiet tonight

March 18, 2006
11:46 pm
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njv324
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September 24, 2010
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I am here, I just became a member, a newbie if you will.

March 18, 2006
11:51 pm
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Randomwomen2
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welcome to this site

March 18, 2006
11:54 pm
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njv324
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Thank you.
I just realized that I am a Co Dependent person, and in doing some research, I found this site. I have ordered a book on it, and I am now, literally just now, trying to sort out my feelings about this.

March 18, 2006
11:54 pm
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Randomwomen2
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what book did you order? if you dont mind my asking

March 19, 2006
12:01 am
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njv324
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The Book is Codependency No More, How to Stop Controlling Other and Care for Yourself. It is highly rated, and I saw myself in one of the reviews I read on it. Scary stuff to be sure. I always thought it was good to be so caring, and to put oneself aside, but I think I confused that, and took things too far. Funny, I adopted a dog, and was thinking to myself now that I have him, he needs me every day. That should help take the edge off, and I would stop getting involved with needy people. And then I realized what I was doing, this current relationship told me that, and so I came, did some research, and viola, there I was.

March 19, 2006
12:08 am
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Randomwomen2
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ahh I have heard that it is a good book

March 19, 2006
12:16 am
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njv324
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I am hoping so. It has been a very long hard road, and I am very unhappy. While it hasnt stopped me, per se, it has also led to alot of hurt both for me and others. That I feel bad about, but I did not know what was happening. I am also very shy, which I found out there is no such thing as shyness. Another book from Amazon, which I need to pick up again and read. Gee I am one sick puppy, arent I? I am also very strong minded, and have been able to withstand a great deal. The shyness thing I got from waking up to a radio program on a Sunday morning. Imagine that. I just have to pray that my realizing these two things about myself is 50% of the battle.

March 19, 2006
12:18 am
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Randomwomen2
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we all have battles we must face we can not change the past but we can make a better future for ourselves

March 19, 2006
12:20 am
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njv324
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The other person is aware of it, yes. We will be getting a divorce, and we just made an agreement on settling things. It will be somewhat costly, but also necessary. The relationship is beyond repair, even now that I know what I know. I am trying to decide if I should advise her as to what I have discovered about myself. I do not wish to give her hope of saving this situation, which is very badly damaged. I also feel that my telling her this and trying to salvage it would give her the chance to each time something happened to say I am being that way again. I think it best to move on, heal, read the books, and start fresh, if it isnt too late.

March 19, 2006
12:21 am
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Randomwomen2
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its never too late to start again.

March 19, 2006
12:24 am
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njv324
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I am not so sure of that. Part of that could be that being a CPA, and working long hours, and being as stressed as I am now with all that is going on, it is clouding my judgement. Maybe when I return to being a normal human being again, I will see things more clearly. The stresses have been more intense than I can ever recall: tax season, working hard to earn a promotion, trouble at home, trying to work out a settlement, and feeling like a failure, that has knocked me for a loop.

March 19, 2006
1:04 am
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Randomwomen2
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well the best thing to do is to find something to calm down maybe reading wrtting or excersizing or something casue all of that stress is just going to make it more difficult for you

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