Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Anyone available to give a reality check? ....Hurts_so_bad
January 23, 2005
1:29 pm
Avatar
sdesigns
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 30
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Good morning Alegab (aka Terry!): Hope you are feeling better. Boy you are a sly one. I love it. So you caught a cheater cheating on someone he is cheating with? That told you right there he isn't really interested in you- just the chase. That is just not worth wasting your affections on. Huge red flags flapping in the breeze! I hope you have a relaxing day. Hugs- SD

January 23, 2005
2:16 pm
Avatar
Alegab
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

SD- You gave me a laugh!!! I love the way you put things. I am feeling really sad and upset but i know i will get through this. I just finished doing an aerobics tape, boy that felt good. I am going to take a nice warm shower and then relax a little by reading other stuff besides "recovery books". I need relaxation too.

I hope you are having a good day.

Thanks so much for your support.

Love and Hugs

Alegab

January 23, 2005
8:58 pm
Avatar
starryslp
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hurts,

The best way to show him you don't want anything to do with him is to not write him anything. He doesnt deserve an explanation as to why you are cutting off contact ( besides, even if it is an email to say you are not talking anymore) it is still contact. Dont tell him it is over, show him.

And if you don't contact him, you aren't giving him the oppurtunity to hurt you by not contacting you.

Believe me, living a healthy happy life is the best revenge.

Make him wonder about you for a change.....We all love you here...keep posting.

January 23, 2005
9:22 pm
Avatar
Alegab
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Star- thank you so much for your encouragement and support. It means a great deal to me having people in my life that sincerely care about me.

I care about you and all other people also.

Love and lots of (((((((hugs)))))))

January 23, 2005
11:31 pm
Avatar
Hurts_so_bad
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Starryslp,

Thanks for those words of encouragement. I wish it were that easy about the contact issue. It hurts me both ways....when he doesn't write back or when he doesn't try to contact me first. I lose either way. I just seriously don't know how I'm going to get him out of my system. Thank god he lives hours away from me. If he was local, I don't know what I'd do.

I spent my day at my daughter's. We organized all her books and put them in her new bookcase. We watched a movie and took her dog for a long walk. It was nice, but I have to admit it was nice to come back home where I could be alone with my thoughts and pain. I must sound so pathetic to everyone, and the funny thing is, intellectually I know he wasn't perfect, but in my heart I think of him as being perfect. As a matter of fact, when my daughter met him (she's 27) she wasn't impressed with him at all. He was too quiet and didn't seem to have a sense of humor (at least not the way her and I have). She also reminded me that a few times when he would visit for the weekend, I would mention to her that I was glad he was going back home. I just wish I could fully remember those times and WHY I felt like that. It seems all I can remember is that I love him and want him back. 🙁

January 24, 2005
2:07 pm
Avatar
starryslp
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

How are you today

January 24, 2005
2:29 pm
Avatar
Hurts_so_bad
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well, true to form, he wrote me this morning at work. And I quote:

"Good Morning Sunshine:)
How are you doing? I'm sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I know you're in a panic. Don't panic 🙂 Did you miss me?"

What do you guys make of that? What, if anything, should I respond.

I really don't understand him.

January 24, 2005
3:13 pm
Avatar
Hurts_so_bad
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Anyone here?

January 24, 2005
3:42 pm
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Be honest, say I don't understand.

January 24, 2005
3:48 pm
Avatar
Hurts_so_bad
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I interpret it as saying I'm still here and I shouldn't panic when he doesn't write right away. The message is short, but yet it does seem like he has feelings for me, doesn't it? Or am I hallucinating again and reading too much into it? Just curious how you would interpret the message if you received it?

January 24, 2005
4:13 pm
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You are right. I agree, he still has feelings for you, Iwould interpret it the same. Now what?...I don't know. But in taking care of you...talk to him. You wrote him an angry email and he didn't respond...not he is all rainbows and flowers? Tell him how confusing it is for you...just be honest. It seems no matter what you do he is still there, unless it is a game for him to yank your chain. Is he a nice guy or sadistic?

January 24, 2005
5:04 pm
Avatar
Hurts_so_bad
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

He's a very nice guy. That's part of my problem letting him go. He has always been so honest when we were together.

I did email him back and said I wanted to actually have a conversation with him via phone. He promised he would call me tomorrow nite. Maybe I'll be strong enough to ask questions. But to be honest, I'm scared of the answers. Am I being too paranoid considering his last email? I don't know. I have no confidence in my decisions right now when it comes to him.

January 24, 2005
5:26 pm
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Don't doubt yourself anymore, it does no good. How you feel in relaton to all of this is real and to be paid attention too, don't minimize it. Tell him you do not understand why he stays in contact with you. Or just ask questions you want to know the answers too. Maybe write them down, and don't be fearful. You might want ot be open to hear what he has to say about himself as well.

January 24, 2005
5:34 pm
Avatar
Hurts_so_bad
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Good points On My Way. I think I will make a list of questions and hopefully come tomorrow - I can ask them 🙂

I'll keep you posted. Wish me luck.

January 24, 2005
5:38 pm
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You'll do ok, would be great if youboth could come to an understanding one way or the other.

January 24, 2005
5:43 pm
Avatar
Hurts_so_bad
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I agree. But what if he's still seeing this other lady friend? I have never been good sharing anyone. I've always just dated one person at a time. How would I even begin to handle that? And my gut tells me that's what he's doing.

January 24, 2005
5:49 pm
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You shouldn't have to share him with anyone. Don't do anything you don't want to do...where did you learn that you have to compromise yourself so much to have what you want?

This is give and take. If you sincerely believe that he cares about you, then you need to understand him too? But not at the price of losing yourself, or what you beleive in. There is a balance if you can find it.

January 24, 2005
6:00 pm
Avatar
Hurts_so_bad
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

There are people that date more than one person at a time. Unfortunately, I've never quite understood that. But it's done all the time.

But you're right, I won't compromise.

January 24, 2005
6:32 pm
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

That is true, but it depends on what YOU are comfortable with...in other words, don't give into something just to keep him around longer...if this makes sense. If you have respect for yourself then he will too. And you don't have to be mean or aggresive, to get your point across. You can say, I understand, I don't agree, I do agree, this is what I need in a relationship, etc. Ususally if a man wants to date more than one at a time, he is in it for fun, and to have reserves. His choice, but you have to do what feels right for you.

January 24, 2005
6:59 pm
Avatar
Hurts_so_bad
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You're right as always :).

I really can't picture him dating 2 people, not for long anyway. I suspect that maybe things are cooling off with his lady friend and he's starting to realize that I was better for him.

Because up until last month, he would never admit he missed me or flirt. He would keep any communication on a friendly, but casual tone. Know what I mean? Now he acts differently to me...warm. (Well, when he actually finds the time to write that is) sigh

January 25, 2005
12:04 am
Avatar
Hurts_so_bad
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
January 25, 2005
10:43 am
Avatar
Hurts_so_bad
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Well - he's supposed to call tonite. I hope he does and I hope that I will have the courage to ask the questions I need to ask.

I'm just afraid if I do ask the question I most want answered "Do we have a chance together?", he'll probably tell me no.

January 25, 2005
11:01 am
Avatar
starryslp
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

did he call

January 25, 2005
11:14 am
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Then if he says no, tell him why you think you do have a chance. And ask him why? Don't let this pass by this time, ok? Try to get some answers for yourself, so you can begin to heal. Trust me, you don't want to straddle the fence like this for too long!!

January 25, 2005
11:20 am
Avatar
starryslp
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Oh, he is callling tonight, my bad.

If he says no, well then be grateful he was honest..and move on.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
38
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111019
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38569
Posts: 714305
Newest Members:
bravelassie, Chloe12, future life, austinjacob, Hadity1, JasonMcGhee
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2020 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information