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any lesbians out there?
October 22, 2007
2:36 pm
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risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
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I lived on the other side of Danbury - a little north of there - many people in my town were part time residents - with homes in the city as well.

Westchester is nice, but PRICEY!!!!!!

It is nice up here - we have had two BEAUTIFUL days in a row - BUT - it's already cold and damp and dreary otherwise.

with baby on the way, I am NOT looking forward to harsh winter - and hpe we make it to hospital with no incidents (baby due in january!)

October 23, 2007
8:35 am
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wasabi
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Hey NerdyUrby*
I'm Married w/ Children for so very long! To mr. Mocho!
Have never been with a women, but have had a few try to be with me ? I was'nt into it then But now I wonder?
But I always wondered if it would be different emotionaly to BE with a women more compation maybe!
I grew up on the West coast & went to design school in the fab 80's!
I had so many gay friends I loved hangin with gay men! They where so much fun & no worries....ya know!
A few friends where lesbians ....but back then everyone was affraid to be out .......... most of my gay female friends lived double lives!
I always wondered if relationships would be as crazy if I loved a women!
I think it's may be just as complex maybe more ? Most of the lesbians I new had real bad realationships with men & switched up or there Fathers did bad things to them so they felt safer with women? I too have had it real tuff with MEN & wonder maybe it would work if I was with a women!
But my kids would freak..........
On the EAST cosat just south of you!A few hrs. drive!
WASABI

October 23, 2007
8:59 pm
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Ned 348
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That is an interesting observation about some women having a hard time with men so they switched up. That is something I don't think a straight man could ever do. "Hey women are giving me problems, I'll just go get with another guy". I understand about the safety issue though. Men don't understand what women go through and how important safety is, but inspite of all that must women still stay straight. Humans are interesting.

October 23, 2007
10:03 pm
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Annieswindow
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Nerdy,
Hi there...Interesting thread ­čÖé

I am from NY....up in the ski region--the Great Catskill Mts. Cool to see some othre NYorkers around.

rising---congrat on the upcoming baby...how exciting.

I've often wondered about the lesbian concept...I am def bi curious, however not sure about only being with women.

October 24, 2007
4:04 pm
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wasabi
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Ned*
I only spoke of a dear friend I grew up with & a few others I knew a tad! That had been hurt real bad by men! by there fathers ....... some boy friends or husbands!
One just had a deep friendship with another women during her break up & it got phyiscial!
I am having a real ruff time with my husband..........
But that would not make me switch up! I love strong sexy men!
But I wonder if it would be deeper emotionaly......... or just understanding......like hey I don't FEEL like cooking or haven sex cause I'm on my period or down or had a bad day! I just want a hug.....ok yeah Can I man just give deep emotion contacted with out getting a hard on!Do you think YOU could make ME a cup of tea DEAR!

Not to bash men hear!
Remember i'm going thru a bad time & my mocho man has hurt me so I'm pist ok !Not just pist off hurt heartbroken /with bruses/ hurt!

I just need a real heartfull hug.... long hug.... ya know just hold me not screw me kinda warm & fuzzy LOVEING hug!
Make me some tea & tuck me in with sweetness I'm there for you baby!
Wasbi

October 24, 2007
4:17 pm
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risingfromtheashes
st regis falls, ny
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Annie -

I have had my share of curiosity - and even women that I felt some kind of attraction to....some were in an admiration type of way - like admiring her beauty....others were in a comfortable, I could see myself having a good time as a CLOSE pal with her kind of way....and have had my share of thoughts on what it would be like....but don't think I would ever go there...nor would I want to stay there cuz I love guys and all their "parts" too much.

I am from the northern adirondack region....farther north than the catskills.

October 24, 2007
9:31 pm
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Ned 348
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wasabi -

Wow! I do understand your pain and your plea for affection without it being a prelude to sex. In other words, show me some love and a hug to reassure me that you understand, care about me and all that I am. It does seem true that women in general (there are exceptions) are more sensitive than men. Men do feel but just do not share their utmost feelings with men or women and with women that is their specialty. I too have had women friends and they are some of the best friends I have ever had. But when love enters the picture (not with my friends) it starts not being as nice somehow. I think relationships bring more drama into the situation. I think men can better understand what you are talking about when they are a little older and the hormones quiet down a little.

October 24, 2007
9:49 pm
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Anonymous
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I have a question which I┬┤ll post and check on the answer tomorrow cause I can keep my eyes open anylonger..

The question is... Am I naive to believe that two women can live together and share the double bed (dont think its a queen size) and be just girlfriends? I never see any "couple┬┤s" signs of affection other than a hug or kiss on the cheek.

They make a point of not saying they are or not lesbians bc they want people to like them and their way of life for what they are. One of the women was my father┬┤s partner till he died. My brother calls me naive for believing that their silence means they┬┤re just friends.

Another question would be... Is there conventional lesbian relationship/"marriage"? I think "why not".

Now the question in your mind is why I haven┬┤t asked my friend openly about her relationship. I should do that next time I see her. I just thought she┬┤s not sure of what her relationsip is. It started bc her friend had a nervous breakdown, was diagnosed bipolar and needed some supervision for some time. Then she moved in wth her friend and, I think, they became codependent. Worse things than that, they seem okay.

October 24, 2007
10:15 pm
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Annieswindow
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Hi Rising....I can understand what your saying...guys and all there parts...I like them too. I still can't help but wonder if women can't be a bit more compatible. Of course I think any relationship can lead to situations where those involved don't attend to each other's feeling well enough( mf , ff or mm). I guess I'm just curious, and am in the right time of life to wonder. I've been separated now for over 2.5 years, not tied down to any one person, and for the moment I like it that way.

Ned...do you think it's possible to be in a relationship and not have drama?

October 25, 2007
9:11 am
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risingfromtheashes
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sininho - I guess I would wonder if it's anyone's business what they do behind closed doors or how they define their relationship.

Do I think women can share a bed and not be lesbians?

yeah, it may be possible - perhaps they seek the comfort of having someone there - someone they know and trust - and that's all they need.

IE - I still let my daughter snuggle in my bed - she is almost 14...it's not a regular thing - but it's comforting for both of us at times...whether we are lonely, sick or just need some comfort for no reason....it's not incest...it's not anything - just comfort.

So, do I think it's possible - yeah, maybe.

Do I think a man and woman can do the same - possibly - especially older couples - where sex isn't such a huge deal - for many men - they lose their ability to have en erection - and women lose their libido - so it ends up being a comfort thing....maybe there IS love there - it's just different in the physical department.

Annie - yes, it is possible to be in a relationship that has no drama. I didn't think it was - but I know it is true - I am living proof. we have our "bumps in the road" - but it no longer overturns our lives and creates havoc out of nothing....we simply deal with it and move on...we have our issues and conflicts - but we deal with them more maturely, responsibly and caringly....it doesn't disrupt our whole world for days, weeks, months on end...and it's normal stuff - like day to day stuff - like finances, kids, work stress, etc....not stuff we create, but more the stuff that life throws at us.

it is possible.

October 25, 2007
10:22 pm
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Ned 348
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Ned...do you think it's possible to be in a relationship and not have drama?

I like Risings answer. I think it holds out hope for the rest of us. But I think it takes two to tango. So if only one is doing all the work all the time you won't be doing the tango. I'll admit some time I wasn't doing the work, with others I did all the work. Guess what they say about payback is true. With friendships though they are just mellow yellow.

October 26, 2007
8:59 am
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risingfromtheashes
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Ned - you pointed out the obvious - which I neglected to think of.

Yes - it does take two - and those two have to be on the "same page" - meaning you can't have a relationship with no chaos and drama if your partner WANTS the chaos and drama.

You can't fight the current - so if your partner is unhealthy - chances are no, you won't get peace.

The key, as I found, is finding a good match - someone who doesn't need the chaos and drama, who doesn't supply it, who doesn't feed it, who has the same values and ideals, who values you, who respects you, who treats you like a mature, responsible adult - and who is the same in return.

We all have our flaws - so I am not saying it has to be someone "perfect" - it just has to be someone that has flaws you can handle - without causing chaos.

IE - my BF is young - and has some maturity issues - mostly things that come with life experience - I have alot more "life experience", being 9 years older and having some hard core responsibilities as a single mom....but his maturity issues don't cause major drama and chaos and are things I can live with, accept and not really get too flustered with.

Occasionally I get upset, we talk about it, I vent here, and it's over....it doesn't throw my life into a total upheaval.

So, key is finding someone who values you the way you deserve - who doesn't bring crazy issues to the table - and who you can exist with without the drama.

it is possible...it just takes work (AND TIME) to find it....and you deserve to be picky and NOT SETTLE.

October 26, 2007
10:18 am
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caraway
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Crap! Now I wish I was a Lesbian... sounds like fun.

Cary

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