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any codependent teachers?
May 7, 2009
8:31 pm
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Boff
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I'm a teacher who struggles with codependency. It is a daily struggle for me b/c I am compelled to make EVERYONE happy and to please. It's getting to me. I don't know who I am anymore. Any advice?

May 7, 2009
9:35 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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I am codependent and a teacher. Wish i had advice for you. but here's a hug (boff)

May 7, 2009
9:55 pm
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sad sack
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Hi Boff,

YES! YES!!!! I am guilty. I am a teacher and my worst codependent behavior has been with my students. I thought I was being a great, dedicated teacher, but over time, realized that I was doing way TOOOOOOO much for my students and even their families.

I am much better than I used to be, though. My life changed after I read the bood WOMEN WHO LOVE TOO MUCH. I saw myself on every other page and realized that my over helpfulness was not really helping at all. I was taking the responsibility away from the students (and families). I was doing for them what they should have been doing for themselves.

I am in the middle of something but will get back on tomorrow. I just had to share when I saw the title of your thread. Please share more of your story.

It is no coincidence that us, codies, often find our careers in the "helping" professions.

Bye for now. Oh by the way, welcome. I don't recognize your screen name. You will find this site filled with wonderful and supportive people.

sad

May 7, 2009
10:13 pm
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Many many years ago my father-in-law gave me a book with this inscription.

"The art of being pleasing begins with pleasing yourself"

It took me years to understand what I thought this said. I reached a point where I gave and gave until I just couldn't take it anymore. Slowly I began to see that I was giving away, out of my own neediness, what I wanted for myself. It's about balance and now I do a great job teaching because I love it and it feels to me as if sometimes my feet are not even touching the ground!

Teaching brings me joy

May 8, 2009
6:35 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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I agree littlespririt.
In one of my first counselling sessions, my therapist kept telling me, " you keep telling me what everyone wants, what do YOU want."

since learning what codependent really is, I have been flip flopping along, sometime thinking of myself and my needs to much, most often thinking of others too much. sometimes, actually balancing it right.

May 10, 2009
6:12 pm
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Boff
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Wow! Thank you to all who've replied. I'm new to sharing on a blog and am hoping that I can find some support, relief and balance in my life.

I do have the book"Women Who Love Too Much" and it is on my "to do" list for this summer.

I am 46 years old now and I feel that it is time for some life changes. I am looking forward to taking some time for myself this summer.

Will keep in touch.

May 10, 2009
8:06 pm
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readyforachange
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Yes, I've been working in special education for 23 years. 16 years of this was in a school with a caseload of 40-50 kids a year. At one point, I had applied to be a foster parent to one of my students. I couldn't separate my life from theirs very well.

7 years ago, I changed jobs, and work now in a travelling position where I go from school to school and test students. I see them maybe 3-5 times, so I don't get attached. It's healthier for me.

I think if I were a classroom teacher, I would be worse off. I would be with the same kids all day every day. When I did have a caseload, I saw kids 3-4 times a week for 30 minutes, so it was easier. But I still got too attached.

I know your dilemma...you have to balance what's important and what is healthy for you.

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