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anxious about going outside
February 17, 2007
9:20 pm
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Randomwomen2
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Most of the time I'm alright like when I go to church or other random things but every once in a while I look out the window and my heart starts beating faster and I almost feel like crying. I dont know what is going on with me. Like tonight my husband and I were going to order Chinese food and eat it at home. Well My husband didn't want to go out and order and pick up and I was searching my cupboards looking for something else to cook so that I wouldn't have to go out. I was going to fix ramen instead. I Just got so freaked out at the thought of going out.

February 18, 2007
5:16 am
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Rasputin
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Is it because of the snow or the traffic Randy? If so, you're not alone. Many people are afraid of both and would rather stay indoors. It's scary world outside and sometimes crossing a street in big cities may seem like an overwhelming task.

Your fears are justified, but if they become too much, try meditation!

Love, Ras~

February 18, 2007
10:29 am
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Randomwomen2
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the weather has been just fine mid fiftys. Moreso than driving was the fact that I just didnt want to step through my door. I stood at my window for about 10 minutes lastnight, almost in tears but today I am just fine. I confuse myself sometimes

February 18, 2007
10:49 am
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mj
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My daughter had a boyfriend whose stepfather didn't leave the house for 4 years. I know sometimes I feel anxiety about going in crowds and don't. Did it feel like you would be totally overwhelmed? Be gentle with yourself and if it continues, then seek support for it.

February 18, 2007
4:49 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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I have those feelings too. I'll be in a store shopping or something and suddenly have this horrible feeling of panic. then I get scared to leave the house in case I get the panic again. I solve this by carrying around Xanax in my purse. I rarely need it anymore but just knowing it's there makes me stop panicking.

February 18, 2007
7:09 pm
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bevdee
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I love to stay home on the weekends and not leave the house. I might be agorophobic if I did not have to work!!

I hate crowds, especially at the store. I know all the peak times to avoid crowds. I'm claustrophobic now.

This started after I left the abuser. It has gotten better, but sometimes when I am not feeling well physically, or if I am having a hard time emotionally, it just feels safer to stay at home.

((Miss Randy))

February 18, 2007
7:16 pm
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Randomwomen2
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my past abuser isnt due to get out of prison again until april so I dont know what my problem is Thank you so much for the hugs

February 18, 2007
9:18 pm
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Tiger Trainer
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(random))

February 19, 2007
7:56 am
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Robert123
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Random, the term for what you are describing might be
"agoraphobic". A word search came up with several descriptions of the characteristics of this anxiety disorder. Apparently it is treatable with medication and/or behavior modification. Keep us updated on how you work thru this. Remember you are not alone.

February 25, 2007
9:11 am
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I just found this thread today. I was not around due to computer repair for a while.

Random, these feelings of wanting to stay home because you feel safest there........are pretty natural for all the things you've experienced in life. I know you know this.

I really don't think you need a pill (just my opinion). I'm pretty sure you have the strength within you to self-talk your way out the door.

I have NEVER felt this way in my life until latter years. It is humbling to realize I am vulnerable to stress and fear and my own lack of control of my feelings (and possibly my self-defeating behavior).

My friend confided in me that she had a sort of panic attack in the grocery store one day -- like OVER-stimulation!! All the stacks and rows of colored packages, etc. She is/was taking anti-depressants, she is going through menopause (hormonal changes) and I know she drinks.......

I am taking a med that blocks the estrogen hormone. I often can identify a shift in feelings with this constant hormone imbalance. Add caffeine, or anything else that's "fun", and pretty soon the "up" or "down" of it can get me feeling confused, or teary-eyed.

I'm just sayin', Random.....you are still going through the extreme hormonal changes of having a baby. Give yourself more time and maybe do the littlest things you can to allay your fears. Get ADULT interaction. It strengthens you. Find people who do not "drain" you!!

I know that NOT going out the door at least ONCE every day tends to exacerbate the problem. YOu just HAVE to force yourself.

Aim for the first thing in the morning....so the goal from wake-up is to get everybody fed, bathed & dressed and out the door to go someplace and get a little walk in or some exercise for everybody. Make it a priority.

You HAVE to make more effort to keep the basic stuff going on schedule. Don't hang out in your jammies till noon, or talk on the phone for hours. Schedule regular meals. Make plans and dates. Schedule your haircut!! Stay focused. Play games with yourself, like setting a timer for how long Job #1 is going to take, or how much time you'll have if you set the boys up with this activity. Keep them on a more structured, busy schedule and away from TV....period. Make lists. Plan tomorrow.

If this is about control, or feeling like you are not UP to handling everything, or that OTHER things are controlling you..........
give away some responsibility. Those older boys CAN be great to help. And if that's all you've got...work with it 🙂

I love you Random. We just ALL have to go outside. It is NEVER as bad out there as we dread and it's OFTEN really rewarding. Try really hard to re-enforce all the behaviors you WANT to have in your life.

Today, seriously, I'm going to pretend I'm kind of athletic. My husband is a health-nut. I'm a couch potato. It's Sunday. He's been working all week and talking about going snow-shoeing ..... and about me bringing my x-country skiis along and going out there in the falling snow and trucking around like we used to when we were your age (our poor kids were always outdoors!!). I hope I don't fall and break anything. I wish my kids were still little and skiing or hopping along beside us.

Sometimes I have to pretend I'm athletic because my natural inclination is to sedimentize.

Does any of this help, Random? I want you to be OK.

February 25, 2007
7:31 pm
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revelation
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RW and everyone else...oh gosh I can't believe I didn't see this thread until now!

Hun, I had never experienced anything like this my whole life...but like bevdee, after the abuser, this started to happen to me. Gosh I really am at a loss to explain it totally, god knows myself and my therapist have tried to figure it out. I believe it IS a panic/anxiety attack of sorts...but in my case its totally linked to walking out my front door. Sometimes I am able to overcome it and sometimes I am not...but the hardest thing is trying to rationalise the feelings of fear...to overcome it I use a herbal remedy called "Bach's rescue remedy" but I think this is only a temporary solution...I have also tried the "focussing" technique, I learned this in college...perhaps you could try it? I have found it to be good, but only if you have some time before you need to go out to do it...

Here is a link which helps explain what focussing is:

http://www.answers.com/topic/focusing

Basically you sit down in a quite space on your own for a few minutes and you focus on your body. If you are feeling anxious you might feel it in your tummy or your chest or your shoulders for example, and you just start to really focus on that part of your body and think about what it feels like and then (I know this sounds bizarre!) but you kind of have a little inward talk with that feeling and start to soothe it like you would a crying baby perhaps...and somehow its starts to recede...you all can probably get more info on this technique by googling "Focussing" or "Felt sense" or "Gendlin" (the founder of focussing!

Anyway, maybe you could give it a try????

Rev.

February 26, 2007
2:48 pm
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Bumping up in hopes Random does not miss last posts.

February 27, 2007
12:32 pm
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Randomwomen2
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thank you I just now saw it. I will give that a try rev and thank you bryn for bumping it up for me

March 3, 2007
8:17 pm
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CoDpsych
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Hi,

Hope you don't mind me joining this thread. I couldn't help but notice your concerns and I think that I can offer some valuable advice. What you are describing seems to be the beginning of panic disorder with agoraphobia. This disorder is the best researched and the most treatable condition that exists. Like everything else, it is better to get it checked out as soon as possible so that it doesn't develop into something bigger. I suggest seeing a cognitive-behavioral therapist. You can find one close to your house at http://www.nacbt.org and go to the referals link. Don't just consult with any therapist as most do not know how to effectively treat this condition. Make sure you ask the therapist what kind of experience does he have with panic attack. Oh yeah, research shows that medication is helpful at maintaining the problem so I would really consider seeing a psychotherapist. Hope this helps.

warm regards

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