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Anxiety is killing me
November 8, 2006
5:54 pm
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lettingo
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I am still in the beginning of all this. I want so much to stop feeling like I can't breath. The only time I feel decent is when I'm really tired ready to go to bed. I am on antidepressants and my doctor has just increased them so I am hoping that does the trick. I also have therapy tonight which may be the cause. I HATE talking about all this. It makes my head swim but I am trying to get healthy. I just get so tired of the confusion and what to do. I try to remind myself that I don't have to make any decisions today but I get myself so overwhelmed about what I need to do. I think I push because I want stop feeling pain and saddness. Any suggestions on getting through this. I truely feel a little crazy at times like I shouldn't be feeling this bad?

November 8, 2006
6:13 pm
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Friendma
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I don't know much, but I can tell you what I do to try and get through. If you have a pet they can be marvelous in helping to soothe the nerves. I smoke and that also helps and do you have anti anxiety meds? I take Xanax for anxiety and panic attacks. Also, soft soothing music helps. Hugs help, if you can trust the one giving them to you. I hope this helps, I am sending you peace and comfort, and safe friendly hugs via the internet. Take care, Friendma

November 8, 2006
6:22 pm
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lettingo
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Friendma,
Thanks for your advice. I did have lorazpan (spelling?) but it make me so tired. I need to be awake but not feel like I'm coming out of my skin. I also smoke. Didn't very much before filing a separation from my husband a month ago. I guess it's all part of the process.

Dee

November 8, 2006
6:25 pm
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free
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I used to push myself kuz I so desperately wanted to be "healed."

Print out your post and give it to your therapist tonight.

No doubt the appointment is causing you anxiety. you dealt with what hurt you probably with denial, maybe dissociation, maybe suppression. So it's what you know. You did not deal with it by confronting it and what it's done to you. Well, that's what therapy is for, and ya know- it IS scary to deal with something that hurts or frightens. I used to drive around the building numerous times and sometimes wound up at the mall shopping instead of in therapy.

Healing takes time kuz it's not like you just do things and then get healed.

I always used to ask at my weekly group sessions when I would be healed. there isn't a time, date, place. healing is often 2 steps forward, one step back.

This is a journey- a healing journey. Journal at night about the day- what you did, how you felt, what you thought, what you wish. In as little as a month, you'll be able to look back and see where you've come.

It's cool.

Really cool.

In a year, your life will be so much richer than it is now.

that's just awesome.

Stay on the healing path. Stick with this journey. It's a good one.

free

November 9, 2006
10:33 am
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lettingo
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Well I went to see my therapist yesterday and feel like I was going to burst into tears the moment I walked in the room. I told him that I really didn't want to be there. I started to cry and cry and said I can do "this" at home. I probably would have went home and cried and smoked cigarettes and isolated myself but after talking it through with him tears and all, a huge weight was lifted from me. I am sure I will go through this some more but at least I know there is a light at the tunnel. I never thought I would of felt better at the end of the day. One day at a time!

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