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Anxiety, alcohol, relationships and being tired and crabby.............
July 18, 2007
9:16 pm
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Lisa Ann
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September 24, 2010
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I have been tired today and I think that when I'm tired I tend to overreact to things. I'm not sure if any of you can relate to this situation, but if you can, I'd love to hear your thoughts, suggestions and/or opinions.

I am a recovering alcoholic, and will be celebrating 6 months of sobriety this Friday. My boyfriend and I have been through a lot in the last 6 months - actually, even longer because I was not a very happy alcoholic. Anyway, now that I am sober, I'm not crazy about alcohol around at all. In fact, it is not in my house and never will be. But, my boyfriend wants to have the option to have a drink here and there if he wants to. I understand that, to a point. He does not want me to control how he lives his life. That is where the co-dependency stuff kicks in too. It was very easy for me to want to control the situation all the time, to avoid going places where there was alcohol.

I have major trust issues - I believe from my past relationships - both the men and me. I was not always faithful, but it was always a result of alcohol. So, I do fear that stupid drug. I totally trust my boyfriend. He says that he does not lie to me and he would never hurt me. I truly believe that to be true. But, for some reaons, my anxiety spikes when I know he's out with friends and having a few drinks. He does not drink in excess any more. He used to with me, but I honestly do not believe he has a problem with it. I thought he was very close, but he has proven to me that he can have a couple or even one and then switch to pop or water - I cannot do that.

Anyway, I'm not sure why I get so anxious when he goes out with friends for dinner or he leaves town for work and meets up with a former co-worker for supper and maybe a couple drinks. I can't stand this anxiety. I was doing very well two weeks ago, but now it's coming back and I don't understand why. I hate feeling like this - I don't want to care if he has a drink or not. Maybe I'm jealous that I can't drink like that, I don't know. But, it is really frustrating and gets me down. Right now I don't even feel like answering the phone when he calls because I'm feeling kind of crabby and I do not want to talk about it. I have been doing so well - I know he will never do anything to hurt me, but why is this causing pain?? I want to be normal!!! I'm sick of struggling with these issues.

Thanks for listening to me vent :o(

July 20, 2007
2:12 pm
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jv63
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Hey Lisa Ann

I am also a recovering drunk and the first year of recovery is a tough one AA gives out chips to mark or comemorate the sobriety time and the 6 month chip used to be blue. and the old timers joked the 6 month blues. I hope you have a group to attend. and its ok to discuss this in meetings. as you probably are aware other recovering drunks/alcaholics including me go through the exact same feelings you do. for a variety of reasons. Trust is a hard one for us, and i continue to work on it. The more trustworthy i become the more i am able to trust others, in recovery i have learned if i want to be trusted i have to trust if i want to be forgiven i must forgive if i want to be love i must love,

Good luck and hang in there if you conyinue to seek the answers you will find them. Your doin good.

jv63

July 20, 2007
2:41 pm
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lettingo
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Do you have a sponsor? If so you might want to ask your sponsor about your situation. I am also a recovering alcoholic (7+ years). You maybe want to check out CoDA too.

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