Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Antidepressants
April 17, 2004
9:36 pm
Avatar
annastar
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hay, everyone! Need your opinion. My boyfriend. The young one. (from post “dating younger man”) When we were dating I find out he is taking antidepressants for about 5 years. He had depressions, drinking problems and few more things I don’t want talk about. I did not say- he need to stop taking antidepressants- just mentioned the harm it doing to a health. He told me- he was waiting for chance to stop taking them and was going to do it, so he will stop now. So he stopped. He was all right, and after a wile we decided to quit smocking. I quit, he had problems with it, I was not pushy…then he stopped as well. Then we had problems in relationships…he moved out. He started smocking again. Month later he told me- he taking antidepressants again. I know this is nothing good about smocking, but this is his choice and I am not going to interfere. But what should be my attitude about antidepressants? He told his doctor he going to stop taking them- the doctor told him- “what ever” and wrote another prescription- just in case. I am working in a medical field and have some idea about it and know that you not stopping right away and so on, but he is on low dose, so how do you stop/ Should it even be my business?

April 18, 2004
8:46 am
Avatar
offbalance
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hi annastar, just caught your thread - also in the medical field and yes, abruptly stopping antidepressants is not a good idea, tapering down over a period of a week (how much/often was he taking them?) or so may be a better plan - then start on the new ones, and give them 6-8 wks to build to a maintenance level .... lots of time to get the best effect!

smoking is NEVER good and will eventually manifest itself in some form,,,lung cancer may never be an issue, but there are so many devastating effects from smoking...but you are right -- no one stops smoking unless it is THEIR decision.

hope this helps -- we all have issues and we're here to help and support each other as best we can!

April 18, 2004
9:43 pm
Avatar
annastar
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you for your reply. I opened “Pharmacology” book today and been reading about depression, ways to treat it and medications. Focus of my reading became Prozac. You know- I had worse impression about it- after reading- it looks like it has not as many adverses as I thought. It sounds like it not really a biggy. I guess- what bothers me about him taking it is not physiology. I think- it irritates me that he would not take responsibility to deal with life the way it is. I been “monitoring” him for a wile after he stopped taking it, and I kind of like the result. He became real. He would get mad as all of us, he would get upset, he would get depressed time to time- as all of us- this is nothing wrong with having emotions. I can say- I don’t see real serious reason to continuing therapy after 5 years. He is fine. He is happy, he is not depressed, he has so many interests in life- some time- too many. He is fully functioning. His doctor said- he is on lowest dose he can have. (I should take a look in to it), and he was able to stop. Now he started again. Yea, we had problems, but I did not start smocking and did not start antidepressants- I just being depressed and dealing with reality! Yes, he became more difficult, had drinking attempts, but it normal for a guy- he is 24! I am trying to decide what my opinion on it should be. Should I just pretend- I don’t know about it?

April 18, 2004
10:15 pm
Avatar
Sam7
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi,

I get depressed from time to time, and I'll let you know something...no one is as good at pretending to be ok than someone who isn't. You learn to pretend in order to function. I know that I learned to put on a mask most of the time. No one knew I got depressed. People were shocked when I told them. Reason? I only let it show when I was alone. I even had the pills out a few times to put an end to my misery. I would be furious if anybody suggested to me that I shouldn't be on the meds that I'm on. I don't take prescription stuff, only St. John's Wort, which totally works for me and has almost no side effects (makes bcp less effective). What it boils down to, is that his medication is none of your business. He's the only who knows what he's feeling and what he needs and he's the only person who can make those judgements because he's the only one in that hell in his head. So be supportive, but otherwise leave him be. If he asks for help, SUGGEST something to him (like some of the stuff I suggested in another thread about depression), but don't lecture or tell him what to do. That will just push him away and make him more depressed and more likely to smoke and drink.

And I don't mean this in a bad way, but shouldn't you take a look at what you wrote? You're trying to make this guy into something he's not and to change his behaviours. You seem to have a problem with his depression and the fact that he drinks and smokes more than you like. YOU CAN'T CHANGE OR CONTROL ANOTHER PERSON. Maybe you should just let him figure himself out and spend some time getting yourself together? Maybe you'll be happier in the end and you could make a good relationship work with him or someone else who may be better suited to you? Just some ideas..only you know what's really going on with you!

April 18, 2004
11:25 pm
Avatar
annastar
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

First of all- the main goal of any therapy is rehabilitation and healing. Became drugs free is the best outcome. Also there are medications that needed to be taken for short term and long term. If you don’t have high blood sugar- you would not take insulin, would you? Now- don’t matter how innocent antidepressants may sound- serious damage can be done in a long run. The best thing would be to say- let him ask the doctor. Right. But- we know- doctors have interest in patients to keep coming back to get prescriptions- it is a business. They under pressure of drug companies and all this system working toward getting more and more people on meds. His particular doctor spend with him 3 to 5 minutes per visit, saying- “Hay, how you doing? Doing good? Any trouble? Good! You want to stop? O.K. Here is prescription in case you need it”. Can doctor clearly know what is going on with the guy and if he needs meds or not? We spend a lot of time together and discussing how we feel. We want to do right thing. Now- you know what- I am depressed. And you know what- I like Morphine! Surprised? You don’t know how I feel, he don’t know how I feel- I want morphine and I want it every day, and I going to be furious if you tell me- it may be better idea to try to face reality of my addiction. Would you say something any way, or would you “respect my rights?”

April 19, 2004
12:27 am
Avatar
Sam7
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

It's his body, it's his choice. Not yours. It's that simple.

What if someone told you to stop taking birth control because the long term effects are bad? (Which is true by the way.) Should you listen to them? What if you've been on them for as long as four or five years? Should you then risk getting pregnant and having a child or aborting one? Especially if you know you don't want one? Is it someone else's business to tell you what is right or wrong for you? Or is it yours?

If you are on an anti-depressant and you go off it, and you start getting really depressed, should you say Oh! That's ok, the pills are bad for me! I'll just walk around all day feeling like I want to kill myself? What's worse? Meds or being dead?

He has to make the decisions that are best for him. if he wants to stop the anti-depressant, he will, when the time is right for him. Not when it's right for you.

And equating depression to a drug addict demanding morphine is ridiculous. Someone who is depressed and taking meds is aware that they need help and is actively doing things to take care of it. A drug addict may be aware of a problem but if is demanding their drug, is not taking steps to fix the problem. Moreoever, when a person who is addicted to drugs decides to stop, it is THEIR choice, not someone else's. And they do it when they're ready. And they often need help in the form of methadone to combat the cravings. But if someone else could make people stop feeling depressed or using drugs, none of these problems would exist and society would be a much better place.

It doesn't sound like his doctor is a good one and he probably would be better off going to someone else; however, again that is his choice. He's 24, an adult, and you are not his mother. You can't make him realize what you think his problems are, anymore than anyone else can tell you what YOUR problems are. That has to come from you when you're ready for it. I'm not saying that his choices are the best in the world, I'm saying that maybe they're the best for him right now, and even if they aren't, it's up to him to decide that.

And you know what? Of course if I didn't have diabetes, I wouldn't take insulin. But if I did, I sure as hell would. And I don't think you're qualified to decide if your boyfriend is depressed or needing medication. A counsellor or psychiatrist is, with your boyfriend, not you.

How would you like it right now if I told you something like I thought you needed to see a psychiatrist for control issues? Is that fair? Can I make that decision for you? Of course not! I'm not a shrink. I'm not you. I don't know what goes on inside your head. I am in no way qualified to tell you that. Would that make you go? Or would that make you refuse to?

That's the point I'm trying to make. I'm not trying to tell you that I'm right and your wrong or vice versa. You could be absolutely right with everything you're saying about your boyfriend. I don't know. All I know that depression is a hard thing to handle, and different people do it in different ways. I'm trying to say that your boyfriend needs to be responsible for him and you need to respect that. And everyone else needs to do the same for you. No one can tell you what to do. But it's gotta be an equal playing field.

April 19, 2004
12:35 am
Avatar
Sam7
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Are you still dating this guy? I noticed you used 'were' for past? Little confused...

April 19, 2004
1:23 am
Avatar
annastar
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

This is good question. I am not sure. We had problems and he moved out, then he started taking meds again. It sure not a big deal. I guess- I can overlook it…I am kind of skeptical on depression issues and believe-there are other ways to control it. Do not call using Morphine for depression ridiculous. It just another drug. Makes you happy. My friend… He is such a cute thing, and he listening what am I saying and it makes me feel responsible. See… Many years ago I was with very special person. He liked tranquilizers (sleeping aids). It was his choice to take them. I respected it. He died of overdose one day. I don’t know was it suicide or just a miscalculation, but he had a history of suicide attempts. This one has history as well. I afraid to stay aside doing nothing, I afraid to make wrong move. It is not that he gives me reasons for concern- I guess- I would feel better, knowing- he got over it and need no medications.

April 19, 2004
2:27 am
Avatar
Zinnie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Um... morphine does not make you happy. It can actually cause dramatic mood swings. I hate taking it for pain, and part of it of course is the mental knowledge of knowing that when the Dr. dispenses morphine for dealing with pain related to cancer, things are looking pretty bleak.

Someone taking medications for depression, working in conjunction with their Dr. is the best combination there is. However, you need to make it a point to find and have a Dr. that will listen to you, and what the treatment will be for depressions. Some drugs work well for some, and some work better for others. Living with drepression, is living in your own private hell, and with the medications available on the market today - there is no reason for not taking them as they can honestly help others.

But, ultimately it is the person's choice, in conjunction with their Dr.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
27
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110914
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38536
Posts: 714200
Newest Members:
Striker1s, marcusz, Keara, Venn, Jolebio, loni89
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer