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another suitcase
October 21, 2001
6:23 am
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CaronCar
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September 30, 2010
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I recognise that I have codependency traits. Different men, different behaviours (e.g. violence, sex addiction, alcoholism) and each time it happens again. I am simply not attracted to straightforward, non-complicated men. The current one is highly intelligent so of course can make any problem to be my distorted perception. That is, if I try to talk to him about his heavy drinking or anything in his messy past, he just says "it isn't a problem unless you make it one". Doesn't that sound like I have to put up or shut up?

How do you decide whether the relationship is worth working on? I'm too old for this. Is it better to be alone (children grown up and gone) than seeing someone who doesn't make you happy? I'm luckier than some. Have lots of good friends, a job I enjoy and my own home,but would love to be with someone who doesn't put me down. There's an awful lot more I could talk about (lack of intimacy, etc.) but fow now, would welcome some contact from any others who are addicted to difficult men.

October 22, 2001
12:40 pm
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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I would say let it go, spend some time alone. do some work looking at what you want, even friends can be a distraction, don't settle, you will pay the price eventually. Draw the line, and if you do put up then guess what else you have to do! There is always a cost, just figure out what you want to pay.

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