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Another Call (Bubishi)
November 6, 2004
9:44 pm
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jewel
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Bub,

I have been there , done that. And yes, felt bad after I did it. Like I gave in or something. Don't let this get the best of you though. YOu are a wonderful person. Just from reading some of your threads. WOW, I think. You are just going through a hard time right now. Did you read what I said to wireless? That is something that I did in the past. Don't know if Deb is like that. You may not want to admit if she is either.

Jewel

November 6, 2004
9:44 pm
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bubishi76
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Jewel,
Did you run off.

November 6, 2004
9:50 pm
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jewel
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I am here.

November 6, 2004
9:53 pm
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bubishi76
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I don't know if she is. Don't know why she would be. I'm trying to really put some trust in the fact that things will be OK. It's just hard. She totally has the ball in her court on this. Jewel, I really am missing her. I hate I slid and called her. I've been doing so well.

November 6, 2004
9:55 pm
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You know what really gets me in the gut. It really gets me when she says that she hasn't decided if it's worth it. I mean, I have NO doubt in my mind that it's worth it.

November 6, 2004
10:04 pm
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bubishi76
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Did I stump you??

November 6, 2004
10:04 pm
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jewel
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Bub,

We all do things that we don't want when we are in love. You are not alone by any means. Don't beat yourself up. I know the pain when you call and they don't pick up. My boyfriend is a cop and if he is busy or has an arrest, he can not always answer his phone. I have a good relationship with him. It at first made me a little insecure. As far as her not picking up, she may be simply unavailble. She may be doing something such as showering or whatever. Maybe she is sleeping. I know that is killing you. She is more than likely fine. Don't go on worrying about things that you can not control. Bub, you already know all of this. You are a strong man.

Jewel

November 6, 2004
10:10 pm
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bubishi76
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Ha,
You know I'm a cop too. Don't know if you read that in the other threads.
Obviously she's not available. Because she is choosing not to be. I know I can;t control any of this but you know one thing that no one here has ever pointed out. Yes, we are all responsible for ourselves but when we are in a relationship, it's not all about "us" it does involve the other person and what they do does effect the other.

November 6, 2004
10:19 pm
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jewel
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Bub,

Cool, you are a cop too. That is very stressful for me at times being that he is a cop. I hate to see him get hurt on the job by a bunch of thugs. People are crazy. I give you and my boyfriend a bunch of credit for protecting us and just doing your job. Many hugs to you because I know what you have to go through.

Jewel

November 6, 2004
10:23 pm
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bubishi76
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I think that causes some friction at times with mine because she says I just don't really trust anyone. I guess I have a habit of seeing the worst when she always sees the best. Sometimes, she's a bit too trusting. Jewel, From a woman's perspective, do you think Deb is going to call it quits?? Or do women really need to take this much time to think sometimes?

November 6, 2004
10:40 pm
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jewel
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Everyone is different and all. I couldn't tell you what she is going to do. I have the same attitude as her. I see the good things and my boyfriend sees all the bad. Because of his job. He deals with bad people. I wish he would get in another field, but that seems to be what he is destined to do. I accept that too. I want to be with him. It sure is very stressful being in a relationship with a cop.

I wish I could give you more advice. I feel bad. I don't know what Deb is like though. I just hope you are doing better.

HUGS to you.

Jewel

November 6, 2004
10:42 pm
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bubishi76
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Thanks Jewel,
Just wondering what you might think. It's cool though. No need to feel bad. Hell, If I don't know what she's going to do and I know her better than anyone here, then you won't don't feel bad.

November 6, 2004
10:46 pm
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jewel
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What kind of dept. do you work in? A good area? The city?

November 6, 2004
10:47 pm
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bubishi76
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I've worked in quite a few different areas of the job, From corrections, state prison, sheriffs dept., local city. Been doing it for a while.

November 6, 2004
10:57 pm
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jewel
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You may have put stress on Deb. I hate to say. My bf gives me a lot of stress. He got injured a couple times in the last week.

November 6, 2004
11:00 pm
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bubishi76
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Well,
I know that I've put some stress on her. Not really anymore then what we both have together. Jewel, it hurts. I hatw that I ever hurt her.

November 6, 2004
11:04 pm
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jewel
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What did you do to hurt her?

November 6, 2004
11:15 pm
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bubishi76
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Well,
Just a figure of speech. Over the course of things ya know. She felt that I didn't trust her. I know that she won't screw around. However, I did catch her fibbing to me about a couple of small things which brought us to this current stalemate. The thing is, If she felt as if I didn't trust her, or just felt uncomfortable around me at all, then I hurt her ya know.

November 6, 2004
11:50 pm
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jewel
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Bub,

I am going to go to sleep right now. I am sooooo tired. Good night and know that I will pray for you.

Jewel

November 6, 2004
11:52 pm
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Thanks Jewel,
Have a good Night.

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