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Anonymity on this site
December 27, 2005
1:59 pm
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dalpuz
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I've thought alot over the holidays and thought to speak to her father in regards to codependence. The whole family looks to the internet for information much like we do, so in saying this i'm wondering. If she was to come here to seek help and understanding and was to find i'm already doing this for the same reason and see's that our personal history is spelling in detail here...will this, theraputically speaking be a negative impact on her theraputic resolve?

December 27, 2005
3:33 pm
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eve
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phew,

tough question. I think it is alway best to keep things anonymous here. We all have nicknames that may or may not relate to nicknames we use in real life. And sometimes stories seem to repeat themselfs. So I think even if somebody comes here and thinks they found their spouse, they can't really be sure, can they?

But there have been times, when the anonymity was broken, more often than not, because people told their friends or spouse about this place here, when things got really nasty.

So the short answer to your question is:

I don't think it will hurt your partner if he/she will come across this site while browsing the internet. But it would not be a good idea to direct her/him here, and show what you have written.

December 27, 2005
3:43 pm
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dalpuz
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Hey eve,

If she was to read my call name or read the story behind it without the call name it would be very obvious. I feel it's best to be hones to get feed back from all of you. So maybe .....oh I don't know.

December 27, 2005
3:49 pm
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Anonymous
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dalpuz,

I think it would depend on what you've been posting about her. If it's been like, "I miss her so or feel so bad about what I did and how can I make it up", I don't know it would hurt; in fact, it might her if she found out. But if you complain about her, it'd be a different story.

IMHO.

December 27, 2005
3:51 pm
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bonita1
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don't do it, dalpuz, cuz once you lose your anonymity you can never get it back!!

December 27, 2005
4:18 pm
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Shaney
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Maybe print out what you have written here, deleting anything that would give her any indication where it came from. It would almost be like giving her a letter, or a copy of your journal. Anonymity is important to all of us here -

December 27, 2005
4:29 pm
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dalpuz
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Hey guys,

I haven't complained at all, just spoke of the reality of the situation, exposing personal information that if her eyes were to review, she would know it's her and I i'm speaking of. That to me could be damaging.

I don't think she's in exceptance and of her situation or even realizes her problem as yet. The next time I speak with her father, I will bring this "state" or what ever we call it here, i just call it codependence, up to him. I think it's got some serious beef as to her problems that have developed over the years.

To write her a letter at this point is definitely a no no. She doesn't think in her mind at this point that she has done anything wrong, or does she realize that this may be her problem.

It's just that if she comes here...I don't want this to hinder her healing.....do you guys understand my concern?

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