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Angry son's and mothers
January 21, 2003
8:19 pm
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Anonymous
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I have a 20 year old son who dislikes everything I do or say. Now he say I'm never to speak to him again.

January 21, 2003
9:02 pm
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Hi Naty, I don't have too much expertise but I am a school counselor and I have lived with a teenager for some time. First of all, don't take anything your son says too personally. It seems that if nothing you can do is right, there's something else he's angry about -- not you. Once in a dear Abby I read about a family whose teenage son cut his hair into a mohawk and then dyed it green. The way they handled it was not to say anything or react. After a while, he wasn't even interested in the mohawk. As long as your son isn't being violent, or breaking any house rules, I would stay out of the way. Also, you may try to see if there are any support groups which deal with anger management in your area. Good luck. -Lori

January 21, 2003
10:03 pm
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Have to somewhat co-sign what the last poster says, last year or so, I went through something like that with my kids in their early twenties, if it hadn't been for the advice of some of the other mom's here, and one 20 something her self on line, I would have lost it worse than what I did. It is a great big ouch. Hurt like hell, but when I finally took a stand, and stopped re acting, guess who came around. Its in the growth process, I suppose. Tell him you love him any how, and he knows where you live, and what your phone number is and when he is ready your there to talk. All our kids are angry, and who do most take it out on, the ones they love most, and feel most secure with. Try to not forget that, now go put frozen peas on your eyes.

January 22, 2003
8:42 am
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Thanks Molly and Lei for your reply.
We have gone through all that, he knows I love, I've told him repeatdly. He was calmed for a few years but now he'b back on me. It hurts and I'm worried about his anger. But sure enough I'm taking his word and not speaking to him. But knowing he is kind of lost, worries me like hell. I guess that's what he wants. Well I pray and hope we can make it up in the future.
Thanks pals, it's incredible what comfort words can do for yout soul.
Hugs,
Naty

January 22, 2003
12:33 pm
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Sometimes we forget, as moms, the growth process we wwent through....it's different for all of us I know but I remember not coming home for months at a time in my late teens, early twenties. Never was brave enough to tell mom not totalk to me but staying away kept the talking to a minimum.

My own teens/20somethings have done the same thing....few calls, fewer visits. They are starting to "come home" again now.

It's a growth thing...finding your own self away from parents...happens at a lot of different ages and mostly (my opinion) to those kids with stable loving homes... go figure

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