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angry and hurt
December 21, 2004
3:27 pm
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tabbiekat
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I haven't talked to my ex in over a week, upon my request. This is a good thing...I'm starting to spend more and more time on me and the sadness is slowly lifting but I can't help but be angry and hurt that he just let me walk away like that, as if I didn't really matter all that much after everything we shared. As much as I am learning to let go of these thoughts and think about me before others I can't help but still love him and hope for a call, taxt, email, ANYTHING just to know I'm on his mind.

Am I being ridiculous... this is what I said I wanted, right? Do you think he's just respecting my request (and doing a very good job at it I might add) or is he just a completly selfish bastard? I can't help but ask myself, if he really did love me like he said, shouldn't I matter more than that... or is this an irrational ultimatiam from someone who needs to learn to be okay alone?

December 21, 2004
3:33 pm
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dustygirl
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You are facing one of my biggest fears and that is being alone. I really admire what you have done and pray that you will fine strength each and every minute to continue on.

My biggest fear about letting go is what you are facing right now - the fact that he seems okay with your decision and doesn't seem to care. I am sure he does - sometimes, I have been told by men, that it takes men longer to realize what they are missing. About the time you are getting over him, they usually come knocking on the door wanting you back. Just hang in there and continue working on YOU. If you don't hear from him, then you are better off without him.

Good luck!!!

December 21, 2004
5:05 pm
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shyshy
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Who knows with men? I don't understand them.

December 21, 2004
5:25 pm
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tabbiekat
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Thanks dusty...you are so right.

It just hurts to know that if he has truely "moved on" I have lost something really great, and that if he realizes what he's "missing" by the time I have moved on, that he has lost something really great.

There doesn't seem to be a way to make "us" work anymore, there is just too much hurt and distrust on both sides of the picture.

And boy, did we have something! If only he just didn't watch it walk away. That's the part that makes me so angry.

December 21, 2004
5:34 pm
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marley
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tabbiekat -

Boy do I know how you feel and if there is one thing that I wish I had done it was keep the resolve I had last year when I stopped talking to my ex! Things would be so different now.

It is the scariest thing in the world to lose something that you love, but there is also a blessing in that when you make room in your life, something even better comes along! I know it sounds hokey but it is true.

December 21, 2004
5:43 pm
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tabbiekat
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I hope I can hold on...some days are easy, today is not one of those days. It seems I can't get him off my mind for even a second and I want to know where he's at with this whole thing. It's so hard to let go of something you most certainly loved with all you had.

December 21, 2004
7:52 pm
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D dog
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Tabbie -

If you are the one who walked, he is probably protecting his own feelings by letting it go. My "ex" just did the same - today - and as much as I would LOVE to have him back, I can't A) Let myself be hurt again, or B) Get in the way of his progress in life, with or without me.

So don't despair, everything happens for a reason, this is probably a growth opportunity for you both, and I bet he still cares.

December 24, 2004
10:07 pm
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lostinqueens
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Hi Angry and hurt,

I went thru the same thing with my ex....We were together nine months discussing marriage, etc. He initiated those conversations...not me. However, he was very passive whenever we weren't on speaking terms....I usually was the one who had to make first contact and it could take two to three weeks sometimes.....Well, we broke up this past August (I was totally fed up and "through with him") and he just let it go....I couldn't believe that he let it go after so much time had passed, but I didn't give in this time because I realized he wasn't good for me (We obviously had some problems with the relationship, but the night we broke up, was over something stupid...I guess we were just both disgusted. I was moving on, and I figured he did the same....AND IT HURT! Well, after two and a 1/2 months, he came back, with less than desireable terms (being another woman from his past that he had a 10 year history with, nine of which they lived together) He told me he loves us both and is so so confused.....He wanted to see us both. At first, I wanted no part of it, but after some consideration, I decided that I would give it a shot for as long as I could take it and see which way the chips fall. Well, I believe that he was leaning toward making his decision with me...things seemed to be going well.....UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY. Needless to say, he didn't do the right thing (in my mind). It was my 50th and supposed to be special and he was supposed to have loved me...I feel that he could have done better than dinner, roses, and a card....especially because in the past we exchanged very expensive gifts for his birthday and Valentines Day. And his excuse was "We don't know what's going to happen with us". That really hurt so deeply. I spent the rest of the weekend with him and about two days later, called him and told him that it wasn't working, things are not right with us, etc. Again, he was passive about it, and I'm very hurt all over again...and I know he's seeing the other one...that's what makes it hurt so much. He is very self centered and wanted to have one to fall back on if it didn't work out with the other, and back and forth, etc. I'm sorry he ever came back. I'm more hurt this time than I was in August....If it isn't meant to be, let him stay away. If you love something, set it free; if it comes back, it's yours! But as in my case, he came back with bad terms, and for the wrong reason...he wanted something to fall back on because his other woman was hurting him. If it's right, he will will be back for you and and if it's not right, he won't. Try to have a Happy New Year! AND BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!

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