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Angry and annoyed all the time
May 8, 2002
11:15 am
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bebe elephant
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September 24, 2010
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I have a problem with being angry and annoyed all the time. I have not expressed my emotions physically on others but I do have angry verbal outbursts where I raise my voice to my husband or children. I don't use bad language but I don't like that I am teaching my children to behave this way. I have tried to talk myself down from my anger with things other people do but the anger emotion keeps coming. I hate that I respond so angrily to things that aren't that big of a deal and I am constantly beating myself up about it. I know part of the reason I am like this is because my father behaved similarly (in a much more verbally and physically abusive way). I keep myself in check by reminding myself of my father's behavior and how it affected me but I still have trouble controlling that angry feeling that constantly plagues me. I have often wished there was medication to "block" the anger but I haven't heard of any. More than anything the anger stresses me out and leaves me hating myself. Over the years I have done better and better with my anger but it is still not good enough. My family deserves better. I am a good mom and love my children but this anger issue is an everyday battle for me. I could use any suggestions anyone has. thanks!

May 8, 2002
11:38 am
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Molly
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September 30, 2010
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It really is a learned behavior, and really just takes practice, to unlearn it. There are several anger management books, several angermanagement programs. Anger is exhausting, and perhaps some of the anger is stress, some of the anger justified !!!!! Its the way you are processing it, that is making you and everyone else around miserable with your DOMINATION. Interesting word don't you think, slightly different from controll. You might start doing some things for you, really and truly exercise is the best processor, and you know many people who are angry just don't know the other feelings going on, like frustration, exhaustion, pain, dissapointment, feeling like your trapped, all kinds of emotions get warped into anger since it is the easiest, and quickest emotion to express. You could try writing and see where the anger lies. What are you mad about, not enough help at home, no life for your self, short on money at the end of your month, PMS, sorry its really real, been there and done that! Try counting to ten before you say any thing, go cloister your self in the garage, and scream into a pillow, but figure out what is behind it, on top of what you learned from dad. Often that which triggers us is not necessarily what is infront of us, but something from our past. Things to think about.

May 8, 2002
12:24 pm
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julie2
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September 29, 2010
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Even if your children are small, they can help you learn boundaries. With my child, when she is yelling for no reason, I stand quietly until she pauses and then I quietly remind her that she doesn't need to yell (she learned yelling from another family member).

Occasionally, I have to be more firm, but usually she says, okay, give me a minute and starts over the right way.

May 8, 2002
2:32 pm
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syqg
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September 29, 2010
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I suffer the same thing. Just last night my anger went sky high. Dysfunctional for sure.Now I feel like total shit. When I feel like I'm not in control, or everyone not happy, that's when I explode on everybody. I need help with this as well so I really can't give good advice right now. Just letting you know you are not alone and I care. Today I promise to leave and take walk if another episode comes up. I will tell the kids this so they won't be more scared of me leaving. Good luck to you. I'll keep in touch with how my "anger management" is going and you do the same.

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