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anger outbursts scare me
February 26, 2001
3:07 pm
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leslie
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i have a very bad temper and i've become physically violent during several instances with my live in boyfriend. i'm become afraid of myself. These physically violent instances have only happend whenever i've had a couple of drinks. I don't know what to do. i'm only 21 years old. i know I should stop drinking but these don't happen every time that I drink and when we go out i always think well it's not going to happen tonight. Our relationship is hanging on by a thread and I'm afraid that my self destructive actions are going to cost me everything that I love. please help

February 26, 2001
7:46 pm
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Molly
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So, like you have a clue, is it PMS rages that happen when you drink? I have seen women who can drink, except at that time of the month. If you know you have anger what in your life is not working maybe it is the relationship, and it should end. What are you really afraide of ?

February 27, 2001
4:10 pm
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leslie
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I don't think that my anger has anything to do with PMS. I am on the shot and I don't get the monthly friend. But I don't know. sometimes i think that I should end the relationship but I don't know what I would do without him. Our relationship is very good except when these outbursts come. I don't know what I'm going to do. I might hit him, throw something.i'm prone to do anything and it's very frightening. Right now I feel stuck b because i took the year off of school and i know that if I had to leave I wouldn't be able to support myself financially very well. i'm going back to school this summer and when I go back I have a feeling that the situation will get better. It's just until then I don't know what to do with us or myself.

February 28, 2001
12:57 pm
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Cici
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Being on the shot can affect your hormonal levels as well, naturally, because they are making your body think that you are pregnant, thus preventing the release of an egg. In fact, it's almost like having PMS all the time.

I recently went off the pill because my gyno said that even though there are women who can tolerate hormonal tinkering well, there are also many who can't. Most doctors recommend being on some form of hormonal contraception, but the fact is that it isn't always beneficial.

I used to have terrible violent outbursts as well, although mine were not drinking related (and yours may not be, either, since alcohol lowers inhibition and thus just makes it easier rather than causing....that only happens with full blown alcoholics). Since I've discontinued my hormonal contraception, it's made a world of difference. All of a sudden I have more motivation, I'm less depressed, I have more energy, I'm less puffy with water retention....the list goes on and on.

Also, have you considered behavioral triggers on your boyfriend's part? I used to respond violently when my fiancee was passive because I had an abusive mother and I was responding to latent anger at my father for not intervening and helping me.

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