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Anger Issues
May 24, 2005
4:06 pm
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becomingme
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I am getting angrier and meaner. I have PTSD. Lots of stuff. suicide, murder, abuse. all kinds of stuff. some don't even have names yet (isn't that funny). Not really a problem until the doctors decide it is. Anyway, i am not doing well. i have a great therapist, wonderful kids and doing pretty well by society's standards. But i am miserable and angry. I try to let it go. Get over it. Move on. Anything else, but my fathers voice wont get out of me head. I am 36 now. i know better, i can fight it most times. what is wrong with me. I jump for no reason, i cry for no reason, i cant even work anymore. I just want to live. that's all. Thanks for listening.

May 24, 2005
5:11 pm
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mamacinnamon
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September 27, 2010
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(((((becomingme)))))

It's hard to hold it together with all that anger trying to get out. I'm glad you are seeing a counselor.

Could I recommend the book The Dance of Anger. I cannot give you the auther coz I have mine on loan out. It is a good book as to dealing w/ the anger you have now and the past that caused it.

Come vent here when you cannot hold it together, or any time you like really. We can be your support group.

May 24, 2005
5:23 pm
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Deena
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hi becoming....Ill try to help anyway I can. You seem to be in the right direction. What is it with your father? and what does PTSD stand for?

May 24, 2005
6:43 pm
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saralynn
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September 30, 2010
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Dear Becoming, quote from a song...

"Oh would I would do to have, the kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant, with just a sling and a stone - surrounded by the sounds of a thousand warriors, shaking in their armour, wishing they'de of had the strength to stand - but the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me, reminding me of all the times - I've tried before and failed. The giant keeps on telling me, time and time again, "girl" you'll never win, you'll never win."

-that's the voice of MY dad - but here's the best part-

"but the voice of Truth, tells me a different story, the voice of Truth - says DO NOT BE AFRAID, the voice of Truth says this is for my glory - out of all the voices calling out to me, I will choose to listen and believe the voice of Truth." -Casting Crowns

It is sooooo difficult to feel that I am loved, and that I don't have to be afraid, but it's a choice of have to believe it, sometimes moment by moment, even when I don't FEEL it...you know? Keep writing - you will find a safe place here, I have. Love, ~saralynn

p.s. I like the name you chose!

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