Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
ANGER, HURT , RESENTMENT...HATE
January 10, 2003
4:13 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

How do a person deal with all the above i seem to be struggling with them all at once

January 10, 2003
6:13 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I don't know what to tell you to do but I will tell you what I do.

I write it all out even if just to a friend, I also have a journal that I need to use more. You will be amazed how much better you feel if you just pick up that hundred pound pin and write, get it out.
I go to AA, I exercise and I try not to isolate myself.

Lord know's I have many years of anger, hurt, resentment and hate in me. I live a better life today because I understand and deal with some of that shit now. Still gota long ways to go but one day at a time I am getting there.

January 10, 2003
6:17 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

depends....

Are those things being dealt to you or are you dealing them to others.

Has someone done you wrong or vice versa.

In the past if someone was angry with me I would really lose it....still can't handle other follks aanger well but have decided I am to old to make it my prblem.

Hurt....been hurt lots over 50 years...
Have decided that there isn't enough time to worry about much.

Resentment... what...how...who...?

Hate......never enough time to hate another person that just poisons me.

People do what they do..sometimes it ain't at all "faair". Such is life.

I tend to be the type of person that if "life gives you lemons, make lemonade"

Realize I have taught for 28 years in special education (crazy kids, crazier parents,) Have 5 kids of my own (ADHD, somosexuality, drug problems alcohal probs.) crazy mom, husband who hasn[t worked much,...etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

Life...not enough time to waste on things that will take time away from what I like.

January 10, 2003
6:20 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I like Angie's ideas a lot.

January 10, 2003
6:23 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

They go hand in hand, if you think about it. That is a whole lot of energy, that could be used else where! Angie is correct in writing things out, so like what happened ?
When you write it out, its a sort of laundry list, you start to pin point the who, what , where, why and when of things. I try to figure out if they did it to me, or did they just do it, and I was in the way, or did I allow it to happen ? Those are some really nasty emotions, that can make you sick, so get to work, and ditch them, we can help you through the process, if you want.

January 11, 2003
10:53 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Guys , 2 yrs ago my husband left divorce me and moved in with another woman, we had 2 kids, through it all he said he made a mistake and he loves me etc etc, so i did not see anyone i still kinda stayed with him even though it killed me to be second best as i was always first, but i keep thinking weare going to be together and we did it in a rush, anyway he broke of with her came back to me telling me it will be ok then he start acting up again yelling and everything then he was going out with the same girl again, so finally i met someone that i liked and decided to go with him, my ex made such a big deal for 2 weeks that he loves me and that it will work day and night he called i did not sleep or could not work as he called that often crying begging finally after taking me forever long to meet someone who likes and i like them i gave him up to try once agian with my ex,( he said he gave the other girl up told her her was coming back to me and the kids that she would moved her stuff out of his place etc onces again after a while he started saying it will not work out with us we should just be friend the same bullshit, now i am so amd and hurting cause he is still talking to her and once again i am alone, ikeep telling him not to call me but he still does this really hurt for the past 14 yrs all i knew was him and now he most likely will go bck to her knowing how much it will hurt me and the other guy i gave up has started dating someone new..i was so close to getting over him and then i open up and now i have wounds open that i don't know where to begin the healing...again

January 11, 2003
12:19 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Babygirl,
So sorry for your pain.
Sometimes we have to learn our lessons well before we can continue to live life. You must have felt alot of love for husband to take him back. Grieve...talk here....and Heal.
Don't allow history to repeat itself again. If it does, just pick yourself back up and start the recovery again. I sympathize and care. Been there, done that, and still chosing to repeat patterns of self-defeating behavior myself.
The future is brighter.....set some goals for you and your children and go for it. Life is too precious not to live it for the goals and dreams you have. Hugs

January 11, 2003
3:28 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I hear your pain! but you know it really isn't the end of the world be alone and get to know you. You might find you like it....

Start by spending time for YOU! only worry about making you happy and not another person unless they are your kids.

Sounds like your husband knows how to play the game and still gets what he wants.

Like mj said sometimes we just have to learn our lessions, hell I am still learning them every damn day.

I Still let the ex over for the night every now and then but then and I know in the back of my head the ex is over at the others lovers the very next night. I ask myself "what is that all about?". I am really not that lonely I don't think, but yet I still find myself letting it go on. My ex is also more than happy to talk about her other lover. However I am not willing to make a commitment so she is free to do as she wants. I was telling my ex the other day about this man that comes to pick my son up to take him hunting and fishing, how he put his hands on me in away I should of kicked his ass. She then went into this long bullshit speech about my how my dignity must of felt. Well I guess it didn't feel very good just like it doesn't feel good letting her come over not knowing what bed she just jumped out of. Relationships are hard!!!!
I hope you will start to write and do things for you. TIME does heal a hurting heart...

January 12, 2003
9:53 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I call it evil love, self surving stuff, end it, and you will be free.
some people don't deserve us, plain and simple. Sorry about the kids, but you will be a better mom with out all the drama, no doubt there. Why sub divide your self, you'll get more out of the satisfaction of being a good mom, the kids will get it, wait till they are older to do the sociological experiment, life is short, and they need you. Learn to satisfy your self, do what you want to do, men have their issues too, not a male basher, just the reality of being a single mother, kids and us come first, who needs the roller coaster of lust, life is crazy enough these days.

January 14, 2003
10:16 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I know exactly what your going throu, not the same situation but the anger, hurt,resentment is all there.

What i'm doing to deal with it is reading books on codepend and it's helping big time.

January 14, 2003
7:47 pm
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I read alot, i spend all my time reading, i am ok if he don't call, i DON'T call him at all, i ask him not to call me often, but he still does and it hurts especially how i am thinking he is going back to her, then i get angry and start resenting him it makes my body crawls. I hate feeling like this, i really do, after 14 years of giving everything, i feel so empty now.

January 15, 2003
7:22 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You may feel empty now but that will change with time

Give your heart a chance to heal.

You gave this guy three chances and he struck out. Give your self a reward for finally letting him go for good.

You can now move on, at your own rate into a relationship where you are truly cherished.

Get yourslef a cheap answering machine and screen your calls....he may act like he is suffereing but I don't think he is...just wants all the control of you he can get...

Be strong!!

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
25
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110929
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38539
Posts: 714213
Newest Members:
stanley, LarteyWellnessGroup, dr ado spell caster, Leslie Ann Satin, overmyhead201, delight1080
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer