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Anaylize This!!!
February 26, 2006
11:34 am
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penny lane
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Please help me see a clear picture of this man who is in my life...after 8 years of being a friend, we have become intimate.
1..About 60 years old
2. very successful in business
3.Was married but had mistress most of the marriage...never married the mistress after divorce
4. Has a nomadic life..in that he travels between homes (3) only stays for a couple of days in each home..been doing this for 15 years
5. Came from an abusive childhood...father physically abused him as well as mentally..mother co=operated with the father..has 6 other brothers..only close to youngest
6. None of the real estate or auto are in his name...all the names of his investor friends
7..He is a non practicing attorney
8..Says he is a sex addict...
9..Wants to fix the women in his life financially...or just control them
10..Shares intimite events of his life..says he wants a relationship...
11. Only has time to go to dinner, bed and then he is gone...wont make time for casual things in life.

Tell me what you think?

February 26, 2006
11:42 am
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SassyAlex
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penny lane, I would do as you ask and try to help you see a clear picture of this man...but what you typed is exactly what you are looking for! It seems you do have everything right in front of you, I have it right in front of me on my screen! Are you looking to have a relationship with this person? What is it you want from him?

February 26, 2006
11:56 am
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penny lane
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Wow SassyAlex...I am looking to see if he is relationship material..but he is sooo elusive..he will throw something out and then take it back..I dont want to loose my heart again to someone who will not take care...he strikes me as someone who wants when he wants...he says the right things but acts differently...I am scared.

February 26, 2006
12:07 pm
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whidbey
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Um, Penny, sweetie, read what you wrote several times and think what you would advise your best friend. My opinion? Run like he** or drop this back down to a "friendship." I wouldn't touch that with a 10-foot pole.

February 26, 2006
12:31 pm
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penny lane
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Good Morning Whidbey..I think I am feeling lonely ...I know you are right..I cant buy into my co-dependence and think this could be right...afterall I am just out of my ex bf the N...and still am needie...there was a reason why I stayed away from this man intimately for so long...I need to be strong..It is hard when someone says the things you want to hear...but his actions speak louder than words...I hate being so weak at times..I am strong...I did get rid of my ex...now I must be strong in this as well.

February 26, 2006
12:33 pm
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lollipop3
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Hi Penny,

I gave you my opinion on this once before and I will be happy to say it again.

Every single, solitary, word that you have written is a HUGE RED FLAG.

Those are not just red flags, they have brightly colored orange cones around them illuminated by flares.

Because you have written this before and are now asking the same thing (which is okay, btw...write as much as you need to), I have to ask....are you looking for someone to tell you that this guy sounds like good relationship material? I don't think you are going to find that. I think that when you have several people telling you the same thing, you need to take a look at that and figure out why you are trying to hear something else.

I would strongly recommend that you speak to a professional about this and try to figure out why you are trying to fit with such an obviously unavailable person.

I hope that I didn't offend you by this, I am just trying to help you really see the reality of this situation.

Good luck,
Lolli

February 26, 2006
12:38 pm
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Shaney
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After reading your list, what is it about this man that is attractive to you? If you're looking for committment, it doesn't seem like this man has time for it, or even wants it for that matter. He has set up his life based on a LACK of committment, from what I can see. One thing that really stands out to me is being nomadic and traveling from home to home. When you travel from town to town, and home to home, you're most likely traveling from girl to girl too - unsuspecting girls that are hearing the same stories as you. A girl in every port, so to speak.

My advice is to not set yourself up for future disappointment. Don't become involved with someone with a list of red flags a mile long, HOPING that you might be the one to change his ways. You have it all right in front of you. Good luck - love ~ Shaney

February 26, 2006
12:47 pm
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penny lane
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thanks Lollipop and Shaney...I know you are right...I am mentally trying to fit a round peg into a square hole..these are the things running in my mind but I will not act on them..I wanted to be sure I was seeing the same thing as others...I am still doubting myself and my judgements...that is the overflow from my ex...I have to return to the time when I fully trusted my instincts and wasnt afraid to make quick decisions about potential lovers...I am working towards the day when I will feel as confident about my choices as I did when i was younger.

February 26, 2006
1:10 pm
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Shaney
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Trust your instincts, and yourself. You can trust yourself like no other - believe that. Really make a good decision regarding your relationship with this guy - I can see this being a potential, emotional disaster for you. Take care and trust your instincts. :o)

February 26, 2006
7:38 pm
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readyforachange
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Penny...read your first post, and think very hard about the detailed list you have made there. Does this sound like someone you would set your best girlfriend up with, or your sister? Think about it. I think you know the answer.

February 26, 2006
8:46 pm
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taj64
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Eeeks I think I would run very fast. That sounds way too complicated of a list. You sure you want to be involved with him?

February 27, 2006
1:54 pm
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kathygy
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penny,

this man is very clearly, without a doubt a very poor relationship choice. How can you have any respect for a man like this? a man without steady employment, a man without a home, a man that stays long enough for sex and then is gone?

He has nothing to offer. His behavior does not indicate any interest in a committed relationship whatsoever.

Why are you even considering trying to have a relationship with such a loser?

he is not the last man on the planet.
certainly you have higher standards than this.

February 27, 2006
3:13 pm
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caraway
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Penny,

I would like to get his number!! He sounds just like the unavailable man that I am always falling for. My codependency would drive me to just this kind of man.

Trust your instincts here.

Cary

February 27, 2006
6:41 pm
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zinnia
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Hmmmm.....

Penny, you ever watch the "Sopranos"?

😉

February 27, 2006
6:53 pm
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gingerleigh
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Let me guess... he's really great in bed, right?

It's so not worth it. You've got such an advantage here, you're not heavily involved yet. I say run. Run like the wind.

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