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An UN-codependent moment
May 25, 2005
10:12 pm
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jastypes
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Last night I decided to go to a Celebrate Recovery meeting. I told my husband I was going. I asked if he wanted to come, and he said no. Then he said I should stay home. I'm never home. "Hey, I was home last night." And what difference does it make? We don't spend time together when I am home anyway. He says the house needs to be cleaned, so I should stay home and clean it. HUH? Did I not work all day? Was he not home all day?

I leave to go to the meeting, feeling angry, and knowing that my anger can easily turn into resentment, which is a real killer for me. So I think to myself, "Gee, if only he had said, 'stay home and I'll rub your feet and we can watch a movie together.' Then I would have stayed home." The more I think, the angrier I get. And I think, "He needs to change his behavior so that I can stop resenting him." Then I laugh, and I realize, I need to change my reaction to his behavior, so I can stop resenting him.

Good thing I went to the meeting, huh? So driving home I realize this is when I would normally stop at McDonalds, eat hidden in my car, while stuffing my feelings. But I don't! I go home. And I tell Mark I need to talk to him. And I DO talk to him. I tell him about how I felt after he said what he said. He apologized, said he understood, and we laughed together. It was glorious, and I didn't stuff a thing!

May 25, 2005
10:20 pm
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bonita1
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Good for you!

May 25, 2005
10:54 pm
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exoticflower
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Wow, give ME one of those moments! COngratulations, that is very inspiring, sometimes it's the little things we do (or don't) that really shed light on how far we are coming!

Here's to your (emotional) health!

May 26, 2005
12:33 am
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addicts wife
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Who-Hooooo!!
I am so Proud Of you!!!!!
Way to go!!!!
(((((hug)))))))))
love,
AW

May 26, 2005
4:45 am
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Rasputin
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Wow, that's very cool!!!

May 26, 2005
5:58 am
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revelation
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Great!

May 31, 2005
2:18 pm
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fuhgeddabowdit
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That is very good. I am trying to learn how to speak up for myself more often. I'm getting better at it. After I was hurt by my mate's infidelity, I told him that I didn't hate him. I let him know that I wasn't going to berate him. But I laid out EXACTLY how his actions made me feel. That way we could deal with them head-on. I still realize that the pain will be there for a while. But it helps to be involved w/ someone who's willing to try and sort things out WITH me. Therefore there's no need for me to retaliate or make him feel worse than he already does.

Good for you!!

May 31, 2005
6:33 pm
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jamaicanwife
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I had one when I made some important phone calls today, but now I need to keep it going by taking the next step, actually going into the tax office to fill out a form to get health benefits for my son.

June 1, 2005
1:25 am
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hulababe
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UN-
Those are the kind of moments I live for. Thanks!hb

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