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Am I or is HE
September 16, 2005
5:57 pm
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smileyface28
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September 29, 2010
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I was reading the post and I meet some of the codependent factors I will need to talk to my therapist about this Monday..but so does my STBX..he left me for another woman..this was his thrid affair and looking back on the marriage he stopped doing anything for me even though I asked and begged at times for him to do things he never came through..but I am overly concerned with people liking me and I often take care of others before myself although I have improved on this since the seperation. I actually do things for myself. Right after I left he was already talking bad about her..his mother was an alcholic. I was married for ten yrs and I know now that he cheated at least 3x's. Wow this is all so overwhelming.

September 16, 2005
10:23 pm
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I C Gold
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September 30, 2010
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Hi Smiley,
Welcome and don't worry, we've all been where you are. So of us are just starting this journey to healthy living and some are a little further along the path to recovery than others.
Just know we are here for you and you can be assured we will lift you up, hold your hand and understand what you are feeling. This is a great bunch of people here. They have been my lifeline for the last couple of months-my STB-X left me for another woman(his boss) and it's been hell, along with I'm co-dependent as hell also...
Anyway, welcome and we are glad to have you with us.
Take care and be strong!
IC Gold

September 16, 2005
10:29 pm
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kc30
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September 27, 2010
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Smiley
Welcome to the board. I C Gold is right- you aren't alone. My husband also had an affair (stbx husband, that is!) and I too discovered my own codependancy while trying to recover from the pain of his betrayal.

It isn't always easy, or pretty, but there is help and hope and the means to heal yourself from your pain and find more peace than you ever knew possible. If you have found yourself to have codependant traits, don't be frightened! Celebrate! Knowledge is power! You will be ok...you will get through this. I promise and I know because I have been exactly where you are.

There is great support and understanding on this forum...I hope you'll keep posting and talking...I guarantee you will find the peace you deserve.

Again..Welcome!

kc

September 16, 2005
10:31 pm
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Shaney
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September 30, 2010
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Hi Smiley - glad to see that you are here. I meet some, not all of the criteria for being coda. This site has helped me tremendously, and still does. Your situation seems overwhelming, we've all felt this way. We're here to help and be helped. Please keep posting. 🙂

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