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am i going mad?
January 29, 2001
2:39 am
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krysta
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September 27, 2010
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Sometimes I do really stupid things when I'm with my friends because i care so much about what they all think of me, only to end up making them think worse of me. Then i go home and replay the events over and over in my head, and think about it so much that i think i'm going nuts. I just want to be liked, but in trying to do this i have made a lot of enemies.I don't know how to change my behaviour.

January 29, 2001
7:03 am
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janes
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September 24, 2010
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REad and learn all you can about self esteem, codependncy and related subjects. I saw a great book at the book store...either an Idoit's or dummies Guide to improving self esteem.

Worth looking into ... those friends don't have to spend the rest of your life in your head with you...you do. You better like you most!!!

Bottom line is...why are you making others so much more important than your own self...you are going to end up living with yourself for a long time.

I know that I only correspond with a handful of people I knew in high school and college. So what they thought of me in reality has no meaning-then or now.

You need to be you and you are the only person that should approve or disapprove your behavior.

You need to be true to YOU. Honesty, integrity loyalty morals ethics...these aren't just words..if we have them and live by them we tend to be the kind of person others don't mind being around.

Don't beat yourself up for doing stupid things....evaluate what you are doing, and why and then choose a way to change. It can be done.

January 29, 2001
3:35 pm
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Layla
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September 30, 2010
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I'd be curious to know what your age is. I think if you're 15, sounds pretty normal, and kudos to you for wanted to get a handle on it. If you're 40 on the other hand, could be some introspection is in order. I personally know what you mean, always feeling like you have to make a good impression on people. (My high school reunion was a nightmare because I still felt (and then of course acted like) a goofy 16 year old instead of a professional woman. I think people who are your true friends are going to like you no matter what, and they probably know you pretty well. I also think Janes is exactly right about boosting your self-esteem. Have you ever tried positive affirmations? Here's a standard one - "I love and approve of myself, exactly as I am". If you say that (out loud if you are really daring) to yourself, everyday, you will eventually convince yourself. Or you could say "I only say things that are appropriate, funny, interesting..etc" You get the idea. You are a work in progress!

January 30, 2001
9:38 am
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Dillyt
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September 30, 2010
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I think you sound like a lovely person. You have identified your problems ie: peer group performance etc, and you are now looking for help to deal with it. Well done, keep this up and you will become a superb human being, whose advice is sought by everyone who know you!

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