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AM I CRAZY OR WHAT
December 28, 2001
5:21 pm
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lilia
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My husband of 8 year left last year and divorce me this year, my ex know how to play with my head so even though he divorced me i was still seeing him and believed him when he say he still love me and he is sorry for the divorce etc say mabe we should not move on because he still loves me he was seeing a girl after we broke up(that what i assume i don't know if he wasseeing her before) he said that he is not really interested in her a lot he only go out with her because he gets lonely sometimes, anyway i went on vacation came back he told me that he is moving on with her ( he slep at my house the night i came back off vacation and did not mention this) Now he bought a house a they are moving in today and it is killing me because i did not let him go after the divorce, i was really hurting so i kept holding on to him not looking that maybe he was just using me because he knows how much i love him until he wassure of her. Anyway i guess my problem is he called whenever he has a problem and not matter how it hurts i always have a word of encouragement for him he called last night cried because he is not sure moving in with her is the right thing and want me to remember that he really love me and he is sorry for hurting me, but he is going to move in with her becaue he is too far gone in it, one of my question is should i believe him or could this just be something he is saying just in case it don not work he can still come back, i am really hurting he is the only person i have every being with and to know he is going to live with someone is killing me and i don't know how to handle it, we have 2 kids together. Please tell me someone how to get through this how to accept him living with someone how to move on from here what do i do? Why when he calls instead of me getting mad at him like i want to i encourage him and tell him how special he is. I am really losing he is is moving in with her today i feel like hell. Thanks everyone.

December 28, 2001
8:41 pm
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lilia
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Thanks blondie, h know how to play with my head and get to my heart, it seems i let him control my emotions even though we are not together i though i would have gotton over the pain already but it feels like a knife wound that keeps opening up, i don't know what to do or how to deal with it. One thing for sure blondie i cannot loose any weight i only weigh 103 losing anymore ill dissappear why do i let him get to me like this i am so strong in front of my family they hink i am the strongest person there is, but they don't know that i could get actress of the year one minute i hate him for what he did the next i am feeling sorry for him, tell me something is there life after divorce can i really love again, can i ever get him out of my system, he ask me to promise to allways love him said he would always love me, i don't know if i should believe him i think he wants the security i give him after all i have being with him since i was 18 i am now 30. This hurts, hurts more than i thought it would, he has the kids i am waiting for him to come by and drop them off, i went to dinner with my friend and had a little too much to drink, how is it that when a man know you love them completely they take advantage of it, maybe i should have treated him like a dog instead of a king i had him on such a high padistol not even me could reach him, and now this is what i get, i love you but it just won't work, sorry i don't normally feel so sorry for myself but tonight knowing that a year ago we went on vation looking forward to another anniversary and now i am alone and she is with him.

January 3, 2002
1:58 pm
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Molly
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Damn, I wish I was 30 and only 103lbs. Ugh that is if your over 4'tall. It hurts to have been taken for a fool, it hurts to have some one cheat you out of a promise that you counted on, it hurts to have your childrens family broken, it hurts to be lied to , it hurts to see some one else getting what should be yours, it hurts to be taken for granted, it hurts to be used, it hurts when you think of how did I get here, and now where am I going when you thought you had it figured out. Ok, now that your pain has been validated, its time to get angry. Look at this as a death, death of the marriage, some one said no, and its over. You need to make some plans, you need some support, more than a glass of wine too, a counselor would be good. Don't make your self so available for him, next thing you know he is going to be over to have you clean his shoes, and in your present condition, you just might, when you really need to plant them up his butt. Get some good ole anger energy going, sure hope you cleaned out his checking account before she did, he is going to leave her too, don't worry about it, just make sure the locks are changed, before he comes crawling home. No, you won't take him back, get angry.

January 7, 2002
1:19 pm
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lilia
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Hi guys thanks for the advice..blondie i am in jersey i might just come by for the pasta:) He came by the other day i had some stuff for him gave them to him he got mad then i gave him an album he had there but i took my pic out of it he got really pissed off telling me i had no right they are his pic he took them off me when we were dating then he tell me he still love me all the bull shit that i always swollow that he feels this is a mistake but i never see him trying to get out of it i ask him if he cares so much for me why he moved in with her knowing how much it is going to hurt me, said he did not think about it he only think about it when he is alone and he don't want me to do anything stupid like hurting my self so i ask who the hell he think he is for me to die for. I am angry molly very angry very hurt but it seems whenever he calls and tell me the bull shit i buy it and ran he said he is not happy that he missed me and i buy it but he is living with someone have not called me anymore since she moves in and he is unhappy i want to call him and tell him to "f" himself but i don't see where it would get me. Now the thing that bothers me is when my kids get on my nerves i find that i throw him at them and i know i shouldn't but i keep thinking that he is having it easy and i am killing myself he keeps them when they have not school or when they are sick so i can go to work sometimes but i am just so angry and hurt and i keep telling myself that i should not beleve him when he say all those "nice' things, said i should not watch his action that he does i should just listen to him because he is confuse and don't know what he wants but i want for me not to be available for him he should know he wants to be with me if he really does if after all these since 89 you can't figure it out then i should let him go right? I just don't know how to get him out of my system and not let him ontrol my emotions i know it is about time i start being touch and take control but i just don't know how???

January 7, 2002
3:01 pm
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Molly
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One day at a time, one hour at a time, and sometimes we need to break it down into 15 minuets. That is how, keep doing, keep cleaning, make a list of all the grief he has caused you and look back at it, when you want to call, write him letters, then burn them. I know you do fine for a few hours, then wham the trigger, anger, pain, tears, yada yada yada, its a detox. Shake your head, and call some one else, call a school for a schedule, call for prices on massages, search on line for your vacation.............. One foot in front of the other, hell do your taxes.

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