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am i codependent
March 17, 2004
1:27 pm
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September 30, 2010
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I have been told lately that I am codependent and that i should read up on this...I seem to keep choosing relationships where I am needed and shy away from ones that I need and they don't need my help ...they just want to help me...please help

March 17, 2004
4:56 pm
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September 29, 2010
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I asked myself that question for the first time just yesterday. Wrote an e-mail to a friend of mine today where I really think I came up with a good solution for myself, and hopefully others. Read my posting, 3/17, titled "figured it out, just maybe" for more details. Hope it helps you.

March 17, 2004
9:37 pm
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September 24, 2010
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I was just researching co-dependency and came across these statements: 1. My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you. 2. My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you. 3. Your struggle affects my serenity. My mental attention focuses on solving your problems/relieving your pain. 4. My mental attention is focused on you. 5. My self-esteem is bolstered by solving your problems 6. My self-esteem is bolstered by relieving your pain 7. My own hobbies/interests are put to one side. My time spent sharing your hobbies/interests. 8. I am not aware of how I feel. I am aware how you feel. 9. I am not aware of what I want- I ask what you want. I am not aware-I assume. 10. The dreams I have for my future are linked to you. 11. My fear of rejection determines what I say or do 12. My fear of your anger determines what I say or do 13. I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship 14. My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you 15. I put my values aside in order to connect with you 16. I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own 17. The quality o life is in relation to the quality of yours. This may or may not help.

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