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Am i codependent of my mother or she of me?
March 5, 2004
2:26 pm
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mymomisdrivingmecrazy
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September 24, 2010
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My mom is a hypochondira sufferer but she also has several health issues that are validated by doctors. The problem is every morning I hear about her woes and this lasts all day until we go to sleep at night. This routine is all the time. She never has a positive thing to say. She yo-yo's me around; by this I mean she shows signs of serious bi-polar problems. Now my issue is this: I feel like I have always been a strong and confident person and grounded in ways that keep me from problems like hers, however I have finally been drained of all my inner strength and I feel like I am getting "something" by proxy. My self-esteem is gone and I am depressed. I feel crazed! I want to leave but I can't because she is 63 and says she can't live alone. My whole life is wrapped up in her depending on me to manage her life by paying her bills for her and keeping her company. But any time I clean her home she dirties it up immediately. Any time I say I have a headache or a stomache ache or a cold she says it. I wish someone would come and take her away to a mental ward. She is nuts and is making me a wierdo like she is.

March 5, 2004
3:44 pm
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gingerleigh
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September 30, 2010
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Hi there. Your description sounds so much like my mother and grandmother. They are older than you and your mom though... my mom is 58 and grandma is 76. Fortunately for my mother, she lives out of state, but grandma expects her to call every day (sometimes twice or three times). Grandma is probably bi-polar. There are some days when I swear she is shithouse-mad and there are other days when she surprises me by being lucid and even compassionate.

Is moving out financially an option for you? It's wonderful that you want to take care of your mom, but who is taking care of you?

If you aren't really sure what you want to do, some counseling or talking with a clergyperson for yourself might be a good place to find some alternatives. You might also find this website helpful --> http://eldercare.uniontrib.com/index.cfm You definitely are not alone.

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