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AM I CO_DEPENDENT?
March 6, 2005
10:29 am
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ineedtoloveme
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1. What are some signs of co-dependency?
2. What should I do about it?

March 6, 2005
10:44 am
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sewunique
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Wow!

Such a big question. You have to decide this for yourself; are you and what to do about it.

For starters, get informed; and that is why you asked, right?

Begin by educating yourself. Goto AAC's Home Page, where it says; Welcome. Click on 'information'. then click on 'symptoms'. Then click on 'codependency'. Enjoy reading!

This is a great place to be; welcome!

March 6, 2005
4:52 pm
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hopeful for change
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when I found out I was codependent, I was going insain trying to save my man from his cocaine addiction, it was killing me.. I was trying to save him,make him see the light, change him, love him enough etc. try to do everything and anything to fix him or help him. Someone gave me the book codependent no more. I thought this book is going to help me fix him. I read the book and found out it was all about me. It was if the book was written about my life.

March 6, 2005
5:27 pm
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readyforachange
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I agree with hopeful....read Codependent No More. If you are codependent, it will scream at you as if they are writing about your life. If you decide you are codependent, it is up to you what you do about it. You have lots of choices. The first step is deciding if you are, and they if you want to continue to live in a codependent relationship, or if you want to change your behavior. Posting here is a great way to find support from people that have been there and done that...

good luck!

March 6, 2005
8:30 pm
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CAMER
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to me coda, is investing too much of yourself and time in trying to fix someone else and there problems, and not spending time on your own wants and needs and putting you 2nd best.

March 6, 2005
11:09 pm
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Mrs. Lost
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Just found out last week I am co-dep. Never really thought about it, just thought that is how life is suppost to be...Not so, need to think hard, need to focus on you, need to get as much information as you possibly can. Information is the key to success. How do you think I found this place, looking for information. Keep in touch, focus on yourself first for once. I know, its hard but you can do it!

March 7, 2005
9:34 am
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pumpkinpie
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I didn't even think of myself being co-dependent at all while I was with my ex-bf, because I relaxed and I had my serenity.
Co-dependency might cause peace of mind to some people who are very prone to be codependent or who are an adult child, I think.

I was happy to help him when he needed some solution in various situations, and I was happy to share time together even though it was only for his interests. I put my heart's desire aside in order to value his opinion and his goal. I had to ignore my struggle as long as I wanted to be with him. At the same time, I noticed he merely wanted a woman who would come in useful in his life. He never takes others' opinion into account. I knew only too well our relationship was unhealthy, but I was doing my best to accept his intention.

I wouldn't have got a chance to live my own life unless separated. I was about to attach my life to his life. I was blind while I stayed by him.

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