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Am I being unreasonable, selfish and ungrateful.
January 31, 2013
8:51 am
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xxi
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January 31, 2013
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Hi.  This is my first post.  I really need some feedback and this looks like a really good place to start.

Its' my birthday today.  A milestone.  A special one.  I've had a tear in my eye most of the day - not because I have reached 40 but because I feel so let down and now I'm feeling that maybe I'm being unreasonable, selfish and ungrateful.

Situation 1.

My parther and I have been dating for 3 years.  For those 3 years he has told me he wanted to take me to Paris for this birthday.  I asked him two weeks ago if we were going and he said No, he didnt have the finances as his road tax and road insurance is up this month.  I can understand if he didn't have the money but he's known about this for 3 years.  He's talked about it for 3 years.  

He asked me yesterday what I wanted so I suggested a certain piece of jewellery (£60) from a certain shop.  He said he'd see what he could do but he wasn't promising anything!  Turns out they didnt have it in stock so he didn't get it.  

He got me a bunch of flowers and put a '40' banner up in my house.

Situation 2.

My daughter asked me what I wanted and I told her I'd like a certain kind of perfume (£40).  When I opened my gift this morning, she had got me an unknown perfume (£10) and a jar of face cream (£35) ! 

Situation 3.

My sister and my Dad put money together to buy me an expensive watch.  My sister asked me when I wanted my gift.  I asked her if she could bring it to me before she went to work at 12pm - she said No.  We are meeting up on Sunday for some lunch so she said she would give me it then.  4 days later.

Situation 4.

My 2 work colleagues wished me a happy birthday.  No card.  No nothing.

 

So for my 40th birthday I have received a bunch of flowers, a £10 bottle of unknown perfume and a jar of £35 face cream ! 

 

I feel so let down.  I went out of my way at Christmas for my partner.  I got him everything he wanted/asked for.  I'm so upset that he could tell me he's taking me to Paris and now I don't even have a gift from him.  For my daughters birthday I bought her exactly what she asked for - a Pandora bracelet - and a certain celebrity perfume - I brought home 2 samples of the perfume and asked her which one it was she wanted.  My sister asked me a few months ago to collect a doctors prescription for her before I went to work - I did - I even collected the pills for her the following day before my work and hand delivered it to her after my work.  I was the only one in our office to buy my colleagues a gift at christmas - they said they didn't know we were exchanging gifts !

Is it me ?  Am I being totally unreasonable, selfish and ungrateful ?  I feel as if I go out of my way for everyone and no-one can be bothered when it comes to me.  I have felt so let down all day.  I don't normally care for birthdays but it's my 40th.  I haven't seen any of my family and I won't see them till Sunday.

 

Today I phoned up a spa retreat and I have booked myself in for two nights starting tomorrow.  I am going alone.  I feel so sad.

 

Thanks for listening.

January 31, 2013
9:16 am
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2013ways
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HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY TO YOUSmile

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

January 31, 2013
9:29 am
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2013ways
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I just saw your question and I don't think that you are being unreasonable, selfish or ungrateful to expect your man to keep his word about taking you to Paris and the thing you mentioned about him not giving you a gift today is something I can't even wrap my brain around right now.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016!

January 31, 2013
10:04 pm
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aaronwebvizards
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January 25, 2013
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First of all I will like to wish you Happy 40th Birthday to you. And about your situation I would like to say you that as far as your daughter is concern she has gifted you facecream and perfume of £45 where as you asked for only £40 perfume so here money is not a matter she may have thought that you need this one and that may be because of love towards you. But for others I think they just do not care about your birthday and happiness, so do not care about their gift and live happily without having any expectations from others.

February 5, 2013
2:14 pm
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SaphireDream
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hmm. Honestly due to the circumstances I don't think youre being selfish or ungrateful at all. You were probably like.." what's the point of asking me what I wanted if youre not gonna get it?" Its really frustrating to get your hopes up and be let down on your big day. I completely understand how you feel

October 18, 2013
8:05 pm
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ShiningLight
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I know it's too late for the greeting but let me just write it down here: "Belated happy 40th birthday to you"

 

Unreasonable: NO

Selfish: NO

Ungrateful: YES. You might have felt bad when you were told you can't go to Paris or unable to receive gifts from people you're expecting to give you such things but you need to understand. There are really certain things not meant for us and not all the time, we get what we wanted. Learn to appreciate what you have right now even the smallest things and your life will run smoothly. Be grateful enough and you'll find happiness.

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