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am I being tested???.....alicat
June 9, 2006
6:35 pm
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Anonymous
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do I have "stupid written across my forehead?

as part of my work "networking" I decided to call some of my past business relationships to see if I can build a new relationship with them.

well, one of the guys I called used to have a "thing" for me....and being the flirt that I am, I would always flirt back.....well, I didn't think there was anything to it, other than just silly stuff.....as usual, I was in denial.

so, I called him....and he was excited to hear from me....so today he starts text messaging me.

FINALLY admits he is attracted - and when I pointed out that I liked him, but consider him off limits cuz he's married - he said we could still fool around....ended it with "just kidding" which later he admitted he wasn't.

Do I have stupid on my forehead? am I being tested?

he is cute, successful....nice....but married.

I explained that I was cheated on and wouldn't do that to someone else....that nobody deserves to be cheated on....he said he respected that.....whatever.

I wanna get laid....but can't my higher power send me someone single????

June 9, 2006
7:07 pm
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whidbey
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lol Nooo, Alicat, you're not being tested, unless it's by your own self. It's only a test if you would seriously contemplate the offer.

Hey, life is full of all kinds of people, including philandering husbands. Yeesh, if we all had a nickel for every one of those, we'd all be having parties on our yachts as we sailed around the world. I understand your frustration of wanting to find someone, but try not to put too much of a "cosmic" slant to some low-life propositioning you. I'm sure you're a beautiful woman with lots to offer, and many people see this.

Just be patient. Some of the good offers will start coming in as well. It's all about sifting the wheat from the chaff.

June 10, 2006
6:55 am
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snowlover
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Hi Ali,

I loved what Whidbey had to say. Believe me, I know how you feel, I think I would have felt tested too.

But..look at it another way. If it IS a test, then maybe its just a test of your character, and how much self respect you have. If you WERENT a strong, confidant woman, you would have flirted right along, and perhaps accepted the circumstances, and slept with him. But, you ARENT that woman. You said no, i wont do that.

I know all too well about wanting and or needing sex. Frustrating, isnt it? But, that doesnt mean we "settle" for anyone who isnt worthy of us.

Im reading 3 boooks right now that are doing wonders for my self image. They are:

*Why Men Love Bitches

*10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess UP Their Lives

*I Used To Miss Him But My Aim Is Improving

Youre on the right path, you just came to a little fork is all.

Hugs....Snow

PS...Whidbey, I miss you!!!!!!

June 13, 2006
8:15 pm
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I feel like I am being tested...oh boy is this a challenge.

I like this guy - but I deserve so much better.

I have always been attracted - and the idea of a roll in the hay sounds good....but I know that since I already have feelings of "like" - I would get attached....and then want more....and he won't be able to give it.

My head is on straight....but damn, the temptation....just want some fun!!!

June 13, 2006
8:23 pm
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smarterone
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If you feel you are being tested, then show yourself you are a winner. Im sure there is someone outther you could roll with and maintain a good feeling with and not have the bad aftertaste. Good luck girl

June 13, 2006
8:27 pm
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lollipop3
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Ali, Ali, Ali......

I'm at a bit of a loss as to what I want to say here.

Actually....I know what I want to say but I fear coming off as "motherly"....but what the hell....

Please know that I am saying this out of love and friendship.

Ali....he is married.

Married = Unavailable

Don't you want better for yourself?

Do you want his wife to feel the way you felt when you found out that E cheated on you?

Do you want to be that example for your daughter?

I know that you say you have your head on straight and are just looking for "fun".....but don't forget.... You've been coming here since Aug. I could be wrong but I think I know you a little better than that.

To me, you are falling back into old habits (choosing unavailable men) and trying to jusify and rationalize it in your own mind by calling it "fun".

It's not going to be fun for you Ali. You are going to get hurt. And other innocent people could get hurt in the process.

The CHOICE is no one else's but YOURS.

Make the choice that gets you what we all know that you want.

Make the choice to be happy. You do deserve it.

Love,
Lolli

June 13, 2006
9:06 pm
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Lolli,

you aren't being motherly.

In fact, all the reasons you gave are EXACTLY what I told him.

I want some fun, but want RESPONSIBLE and RESPECTABLE fun.

And I know this man ain't it.

I know that I would get attached and want more.

So yeah, I am not following my hormones on this one....as much as I want some fun - I will steer clear....I know it won't be fun in the end.

It just amazes me how tempting it is.....I will stand strong. I never have been one to sleep with someone for the helluva it.

part of me knows that what's going on is the fantasy of having this guy to myself and winning him over....I won't go down that road.

I DO deserve better - and I told him I want the whole package and that I don't share or do sloppy seconds and that I deserve better....I will keep telling myself that....cuz I know that I do.

Tired of being used and know damn well this is just another opportunity to screw up.

Being in recovery as I am - the "craving" for the drama is still there....but I am able to handle it.

In fact, he sent me a text asking me to text him, talk dirty and I texted him back and told him I couldn't help him and shut the phone off.

where are all the good guys?????????????????

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