Avatar

Please consider registering
guest

sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register

Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

sp_TopicIcon
Always "tired" now?
July 23, 2004
11:36 pm
Avatar
annastar
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hay, guys! Need some of your six sense feeling- how is it feels to you:
Have my “official” (the yang one) just returned from tour. He was on a road for about 3 weeks with his band, open up for some “national act”. I am sure- he had grate, exciting time. Now that he got back home, he tries to pick up more hours at work to make it up for missing weeks…Now- the problem: I feel like I can not establish connection with him. I mean- he still calling me every day, telling me what’s going on, he still come over…not as often as he used to…he says- he is working, and I believe it…He refused to have sex! I mean- have you ever saw 24 years old who would say- “I have few things to do- may be next time…?” If it would be some one else- I would think- he is getting it some where else…I mean- I am not such a “sexy thing” right now- about to have a baby…but he used to like it, having all this fantasies…I am sure- he’ll want to do it again- it just the feeling…He is so distant…and he is always tired- I have feeling- he is hanging out who knows where to late night, and then has to go work in a morning…today… he was very helpful with getting ready for “big event”- shopping, moving, but then- he wanted just go home- I think- he had some other plans…I know how men are: especially when they help you, they expecting to have “special time with you”…usually- you can not get away with it…It is like- we plan to have grate evening, as we used to, but by the end- he gets tired and wants to go…Why is he so tired? Do you think- he is seeing some one else? But he was out of town for 3 weeks- he is only about 10 days back home…

Thank you.

July 24, 2004
8:44 am
Avatar
natty
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Annastar, honey. Aren;t you just a few weeks away from giving birth? Is this man the father of your baby?

If he is not, then it is quite understandable that he might feel a bit weird about having sex with you.

Can you come back with a bit more info about who this man is and in what context he fits in to your situation with the goddess and the father of your baby?

July 24, 2004
10:04 am
Avatar
Anonymous
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Annastar,

I'm kind of confused myself???

July 24, 2004
10:37 am
Avatar
CAMER
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 100
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Annastar: not sure if this man is the father of your baby....and that you are due soon, maybe he just put off sex cuz he is afraid of hurting the baby growing inside of you, and that you are due so soon...(I have heard of men being like this).
Try not to take it so personally, and why not just ask him out and out
"why" he won't have sex with you,being up front and honest and communicating are very important things in a relationship.

July 24, 2004
1:02 pm
Avatar
annastar
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey, guys! I know- not all of you had chance to fallow my story, so here it is:

Story of Goddess and “The mean one” (or “M”) is a 6 years long story. The “Young one” (or “Y”) joined us a year ago as a member of the band. So- other words- me, “M” and “Y” started to play music together. I met “Y” when we were apart with “M” and…I knew- 23 years old rock star is a bad idea to date, but- he thought- age difference will not an issue and that he is cool enough to take care about “older woman”. (BTW_ Goddess also older woman for “M”- she is 9 years older then I am)

In some way I would say- “Y” is a perfect guy for me. He had everything that “M” had + he is very intelligent- meaning- he knows how to talk and how to say right things at a right time. It was very good deal, specially- because in a last 6 years I could not find any one as good musically as “M” (we are in a small town here- same people, same faces, same music community), but “Y”, besides being “perfect” b/f (and he was trying so hard) could actually take care about the band, so…I was waiting for sign, when God will show me the way how to get out from dysfunctional relationships with “M” and move on, so I decided to give it a try…

The “Y” was spending a lot time with me, we had lots of fun, and after few month…started “trying to be intimate’- well- it is not like we need to try- what I mean is that- it happened may be just few times, and then the “M” got back on a picture.

“Y” was soooo excited about the baby- he did not want to hear anything. In one week he told his family and all his friends… You know- there some women that would not tell truth- you will be amazed of statistic. I could not do that. I had to tell both of them- we can not be sure. The “M” thinks- he can not have children- so he said- “good luck- it is not my”, and we decided with ”Y” to raise it as his and stop worrying. I mean- you know- it so many couples that have children from previous marriages… We only knew each others 2 month at that time. He also had 2 ‘ex” girlfriends- he would call them “friends”… So we decided start over, stop seeing “other” people, and start build the family. We were talking about engagement and wedding ceremony, and he moved “in” to my house.

We lived together about 2 month. It was not easy- he still working about hour away from my place, he had “his” band in another town (where he is working), he always had to go some where, he tried to keep all his “friends” (you know, including the girls) and single life, but would return home (to my place) to sleep and giving me hard time about “what have I done” to him, and about how much he loved me and how I ruined everything. Which he has a point; but- when you love some one there must be a way to work things out.

God knows- I tried to make it work. I been cooking, cleaning, doing his laundry… I been married for 5 years before- I know the deal. He was not “house broken”, so it was all new to him. He asks me to stop working (and I mean- working!) with “M”, which was hard, because it was his band for a years… So- I did.

After 2 month of living together we started to have all kinds of “small” problems- not some thing you can not deal with, but irritating little things- mostly about how he spends his time. In March we had big argument (about the baby and what I have done), he grabbed his stuff and left. Moved out. What else he did- we did not know then: he wrote e-mail to Goddess (“M’s” g/f) with details of this situation and his opinion about everything.

After he left, I was so upset. We had our new album half way recorded, now- I had no musicians to finish it. So- I had to contact the “M”. I said- I am sorry… The “Y” is quit- some one has to finish recordings… We started working again, but now- Goddess found out and got real mad. She would not tell him “why”- she just told him- make his mind: marry her, now, or she is leaving. (We did not know about e-mail). So- “M” choose to marry her.

The “Y” called me about 3 weeks later, telling me how sorry he is that…I am in this situation, and now, when he knows- the “M” is finally out of picture, he would like to try work on relationships…

I should not take him back. But- keeping in mind that I believed- it is all my fault, I decided to give it another try. So- here we are.

He did not move back in, living with me, which you would expect, if you going to have a child in a few months…He still hanging out with his “friends.” He says- he is not seeing his “ex”, but she lives (roommate) with his drummer, and “Y” often hanging out in drummers apartment…He says- they never had sex before- she is virgin, but it does not make it any easier, to know that. He started lying to me often- by now- I don’t know what to believe. Last time I came to his show- he has 3 ex girlfriends there. He used to ignore them, staying with me- now- he was talking to them all night…

I keep asking him- if he wants to go- please, leave. He said- he still loves me and wants to work things out. He just busy- working, playing… He is trying. I mean- it is difficult now, because he has to go on tours and have shows every week. Yesterday he brought me 3 major “Rock” magazines, and his new album reviewed in each of them. It’s like “Black Sabbath” with “Ozzy picture, and his picture next to it, with article talking about how phenomenal his music is. It sure very good for my band- I would want to do anything to keep him in a project, but…I am so confused…I can not continue to compromise my personal relationships in sake of the band.

Thank you for reading. Any ideas?

July 24, 2004
2:16 pm
Avatar
cak
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Aannatar:
Something about being a mother that is empowering. This baby that is coming will be so important to you that these so called "men" will take the back seat.

Unless they are sincere. Only you will know that. How soon before you are due?
Do you know what sex the baby is yet.
Please write back with details.

May God bless.

July 24, 2004
3:10 pm
Avatar
annastar
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I know- the baby is main priority at this time, and in this case I need totally different type of men. Same time I think- “Rock stars” also having families and deserve to be happy. Like “M” spending so much time talking care about Goddess’s child- he has no time for anything else. I guess- confusing part that “Y” has potential to be good man. He just can not put himself together. May be knowing “who it belong to” for sure will help him, but then again- it does not change much. I want to know what is he going to do if it “NOT his”. He says- he want to see how he will feel, how we can manage it…the other word- if he “likes” it or not. And I don’t believe- he has such an option. The baby is not a toy. You can not return it! He thinks he has this option, because he is not responsible for it and it is up to him to take responsibility or not. My concern is that if he is not feeling “deep in love” with me now (yes, he says- he is in love, but the signs…) then baby is not going to help. It is hard work, and he is not ready to commit to it. Now… if you read WD’s story… He used to be in similar situation and he recalls all kind of emotions- he fell in love with the baby and with mother… So- from one side- I can count that baby will help us through difficult time. From another- I don’t want to damage the guy. He is so emotional. He has amazing talent and it makes him sensitive and vulnerable. He was soooooo innocent when I met him- I would not want to hurt him. Same time- here is the question who is going to get hurt. I found myself crying and feeling destroyed so many times, because of he. …It going to happen in a few weeks… He says- he wants to go to hospital with me…Today I looked at his web site- he booked shows out of town right on and around my due day…

Nice to see ya, Twinks… yea, he is sure nice guy. I mean- the sex problem…Did I mentioned- “Y” is very good looking man- he would have no problems to get sex if he wants. And for last 7 month he survives on “light” version of it, agreeing that we need to be careful…may be he just tired- I know- I can not compete with his groupies now. What can I give as a woman?! Sex is bad, I gained 45 pounds…

My physical and mental health…Let me see…It is hard. I do care about the guy. If he just take it all the way, make it right, it could work. We have so much in common. In a few weeks I will be myself again…It is not like I am worry about sex… I don’t want to loose the guy, and I want to know- is it some thing I can do better to keep him happy? So- define “fuck it up”, if you would. I feel like I am “fucking it up”, because I am not good enough to make it work! I want to give the child normal family. Then again- define “normal”! I would say- normal for our kind, and we are in a show business. And it is makes a difference if I can rely on the guy or not, because- if he sees some one else…you know where it will go. So- how can I help him to get more in to family life?

July 24, 2004
4:50 pm
Avatar
annastar
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

You are right, and you are right... But... It nice to come home and have some one who loves you...besides the baby...Some time I think- why are some people have it all, and another...

I don't know who to speak.

July 24, 2004
6:23 pm
Avatar
annastar
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Are you saying that we should not even try- no one "has it all" and we just have to deal with it? I love myself, I keep myself busy, I work, I am creative...I don't want to marry just anyone... I don't need man, at less it is the right one- right for me. Well- he is with some one else, and she does not "have it all", because- he was not what she wanted. So here is the cycle...

England...Wow! How far from London? You guys have grate electronic/dance music... US is...special...

You don't want to tell your doctor- you have "mental" problems... And even if I would- what they can tell me that I don't know? That I have problem to set priorities?...

The "Y" just called. I asked about yesterday... He said- there is nothing is going on, and I have nothing to worry about. May be , just like me- he has no idea of what to expect- some guys feel like running...Will see...

Forum Timezone: UTC -8

Most Users Ever Online: 247

Currently Online:
51 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Top Posters:

onedaythiswillpass: 1134

zarathustra: 562

StronginHim77: 453

free: 433

2013ways: 431

curious64: 408

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 49

Members: 110882

Moderators: 5

Admins: 3

Forum Stats:

Groups: 8

Forums: 74

Topics: 38534

Posts: 714189

Newest Members:

SpencerJeole, Danielnit, matyushaDazy, mashuraDazy, nancykr16, kimzn11

Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0

Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer