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alone...but arent we all?
October 4, 2009
2:09 pm
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CrittleRen
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i gave a coworker a ride home from work the other day, and i decided to take the scenic drive home. i'm zipping along backroads, just enjoying the day and thinking things to myself, when i suddenly came to the following conclusion:

my entire life i've avoided being alone. i suppose its part of the human condition, or maybe its just the codie condition. In any case, ive been constantly seeking out relationships just to not be alone.

But now i see that the true human condition IS to be alone. we are born alone, and we die alone, and for everything in between we go through our own individual processes. there may be two or more people involved in a given situation, but each of those people process the events and respond emotionally in their own ways, so that no two people have the exact same experience.

With this thought i first felt hopeless, but now i'm starting to view it differently. see, that really means that we are each responsible for our individual happiness, which in turn means that if i'm unhappy its nobodys fault but my own. This also means that if i do find true happiness within, it will be something no one or no thing can take from me. since ultimately we are on our own, i cannot allow my happiness to come from external forces. if i let someone give me happiness, i'm also giving them the power to take that happiness away.

something for me to chew on...

October 4, 2009
2:33 pm
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darkeyes
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thank you for sharing..why do we find that emotion so hard to deal with..is it coz our first contact with another human was touch, and felt wonderful,safe to us..ar we meant to be alone,in a world full of people, animals and all things that live on this planet with us.or is it that we are meant to realize that we are one and that all our emotions are wasted...our feelings are our own no one gives us aything everthing come up from within so why we do and say all we do.. always learning....

October 4, 2009
7:15 pm
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chelonia mydas
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What a profound thought.

Thanks for sharing.

I think our existence is a unique experience that depends on interaction with others around us. It doesn't have to be human, but other lives and beings are essential for our very survival. But I do agree that we have control of our emotional perceptions. Maybe not our feelings at any given moment, but our overall conclusions of the situation yes.

I love the phrase "if i let someone give me happiness, i'm also giving them the power to take that happiness away." It sums it up so nicely.

October 4, 2009
9:23 pm
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It No Longer Matters
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If I thought we were destined to be alone I would slit my wrists. I am alone for now and sometimes in that aloneness I am lonely. I don't think this is forever.

Bitsy

October 4, 2009
9:56 pm
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chelonia mydas
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Anyone familar with the Myers Briggs Type Indicator?

It says that there are different types of personalities and that if you take this survey they can help you find your personality preferences. There are four pairs of opposite characteristics.

One of the is the Introvert and Extrovert. Introverts get their energy and rejuvination from being alone. When they are around people they get mentally drained. The Extroverts are just the opposite, they get their energy and rejuvination from being around people and become drained when they are alone.

I've taken this test several times thoughout my life, 3 times professionaly. I come out as a borderline introvert, meaning that I get energy mostly from being alone, but I can also enjoy being around people too.

I have a feeling that those that are OK with being lonely are more on the introvert side of the scale and those that can't stand to be alone are more on the extrovert side of the scale.

Both ways have their positive points and neither is better than the other, just different.

October 4, 2009
10:30 pm
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broken record
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I think to be alone with the hope of happiness is a much better loneliness than to be with someone and ache of loneliness.

October 6, 2009
4:10 am
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OopsADaisyFuentes
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Been experiencing this one alot. I don't think it means that ultimately we won't end up with companionship..just that even when you are with someone..its up to you to determine your own happiness etc. So the reality of it is..we are alone. You can have your Higher Power and your friends and family who love you...but when you look in the mirror at the end of the day..it's just you looking back. So learn to love and embrace that person.

there is a song called "Just Me" that i love that talks about that..here is a small part of the chorus that sorta says it all:

Ain't noone comin' to save you
Ain't noone gonna set you free
Wasted time on tears and complaining
Loss of joy and sanity

Ain't noone comin' to save me
Ain't noone gonna set me free
Tired of guilt and living illusions
and the fear that's robbing me
cuz when the day is over, it's just me

October 6, 2009
5:08 am
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Crittle Ren,

Just digesting your thread too!

~c~ x

October 8, 2009
11:18 am
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CrittleRen
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Thanks, everybody, for sharing your thoughts on this.

-OopsADaisy- you wrote "...but when you look in the mirror at the end of the day...it's just you looking back." Thats exactly it, and i couldnt have said it better!i'm not saying we aren't meant to share existence with other people and beings; it's just that all our own thoughts, emotional processes, and the finality of life are things that can only be experienced by the INDIVIDUAL.

-broken record- having been on both ends of that one, i totally agree!

sending big hugs to you all!
((((((((((EVERYONE))))))))))

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