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ALL MY "ALL ABOUT COUNSELING" FRIENDS, GIVE ME SOME PARTING WORDS OF WISDOM.
November 1, 2006
5:39 am
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santino
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SO IT IS DONE. NO VISIT, MY FARWELLS TO THE SISTER. NOTHING SAID ABOUT MY EX. NOTHING. SO SHE LEAVES THINKING I HATE HER, OR KNOWING SHE HURT ME. I FELT GOOD ALL DAY TODAY, BUT WHEN I SAW HER SISTER I FELT A SHARP PAIN. I KNEW THIS WOULD BE THE LAST TIME. I SPENT ALL DAY WALKING AROUND THE RESTAURANT RELIVING PLACES WERE WE LAUGHED AND SMILED TOGETHER. I THOUGHT OF ALL THE GOOD TIMES, AND IT'S OVER NOW. I WALKED MY EX SISTER TO HER CAR, SHE WAS CRYING AND WISHED ME WELL. NOT ONCE WAS MY EX MENTIONED. I WENT OUT WITH MY FRIENDS TONIGHT GOT A LITTLE TIPSY AND ALMOST DRANK AND DIALED. ALMOST. 🙂 I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, "DO YOU REALLT WANT IT TO END THINKING SHE HATES YOU, DO YOU REALLY WANT TO LEAVE THIS WAY" THE ANSWERE? NO. BUT I DON'T WANT TO CALL. TODAY ALSO MARKS THE DAY THAT MY LAST COUNSELING SESSION ENDS. I GUESS IT'S THE LAST DAY FOR ALOT OF THINGS FOR ME TODAY. WOW, WHAT A YEAR.

ALL MY "ALL ABOUT COUNSELING" FRIENDS GIVE ME SOME PARTING WORDS OF WISDOM, FOR THIS MAY BE MY LAST POST WITH ALL THIS.

November 1, 2006
7:58 am
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taj64
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She does not hate you. Let time go by. She may contact you after all it settled and then you can end it properly or "closure". Right now there is too much between the two of you and it is better for both of you to be apart and heal. Her sister, I am sure will talk to her about how you are really feeling. So the answer is there. It has been quite a year but why are you giving up the counseling? I would stay it in it for at least a few more weeks or even months. And why are you leaving here? I hope you do not. You can give as much as you received. A lot of us end up leaving when we close a chapter but I don't feel it is quite over for you just yet. You might be dealing with a lot of residual feelings that may take time and talking it out is always so good. Don't give up! And hang in there! You may even learn a thing or two for the next time you meet someone special.

November 1, 2006
8:27 am
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revelation
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Taj is correct, this really is the best thing for both of you at the moment, you need time to heal and so does she. Let it happen, let it flow, let it go. Who knows what the future holds...think positively about yourself Santino...I will leave you with a quote from Carl Rogers, guru of person-centred therapy, a very wise man!

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, only then I can change."

Rev.

November 1, 2006
8:53 am
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2alone
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I know that you're really hurting right now and your future seems so unsure...but I know there will be brightness coming your way. (((Santino)))

November 1, 2006
9:21 am
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atalose
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What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

November 1, 2006
9:31 am
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Santino,

I have a gut feeling that she KNOWS you don't hate her. She knows you are hurt. She knows that she broke your heart. She also knows that there is nothing that she can say that will make you feel any better.

I have hurt people in the past too. They have said mean, hurtful things to me out of their own frustration and pain. I knew that they did not truly hate me, but I also knew that I could not tell them what they wanted to hear (that I loved them back)... so I let it go. Continuing the dialogue about it does nothing but prolongs the suffering.

Time heals.

Give it time, Santino.

I think you should keep up with counseling and keep coming here to talk. The more self awareness you have, the more you are going to have to offer to EVERYONE in your life. Not just women, but also your children, your family, your friends, your co-workers, etc. This is (should be) about YOU. Not about your ex.

Now that she is gone... try and make it ALL ABOUT YOU!!!!

Peace,

TC

November 1, 2006
9:37 am
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CAMER
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((santino)) i agree with the above...you don't know if she thinks you hate her...you just "think" that.

This is a big change in your life, she is moving and you are alone...but it is good, trust me, you need to heal your heart. Who knows what the future holds, none of us do. But keep being good to you and
keep thinking of all the good you do have within yourself.

And Santino, I sure hope you don't leave this AAC site, stay for a while, heck, i have been here for years and all the support has helped me so much.

Wishing you strength and support and come back and post again, ok, hon!

(((camer)))

November 1, 2006
12:17 pm
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mamacinnamon
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(((SANTINO)))

November 1, 2006
12:27 pm
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santino
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Thank you all so very much, your words, like always hit home. I woke up this morning feeling good about all this, and when I read all of your threads I felt even better. Thanks.

November 2, 2006
12:09 am
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santino
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Good evening everyone. 🙂

November 2, 2006
7:11 am
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CAMER
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(((SANTINO)))) good to see you posting!!!! so how did you sleep last nite????

November 2, 2006
11:19 am
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santino
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Good mornig Camer and friends. I slept pretty good, thanks. But as soon as I woke up I heard my cell phone say " you have a new message" my heart jumped, I ran to the phone and looked....it was just a friend. In a way I was hoping it was my ex. I've been thinking about her all morning. Does her no last words to me mean she doesn't care? Does it mean she hates me? What does it mean? I can't belive this has consumed me for so long!

November 2, 2006
1:09 pm
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taj64
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it will probably be that way for awhile, every call. Just be ok that the thoughts will be there, the regrets, the mixed feelings, unanswered questions. Even if you had the answers, which you already know the answer, truly you do, it won't do much good to hear or not hear. You have to move on no matter what. It will all fade in time.

November 2, 2006
1:37 pm
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CAMER
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time does definitely heal all wounds, its just getting thru that "time" that hurts the most, when the days drag, etc.

Santino, you didn't have any last words to her either, now who knows if
she is wondering "why" you didn't call her, and why YOU don't care, etc....she could be thinking the same thing.

I think you just need to buy your time, do things for you, know you tried your hardest and things did not work out.

We're here for you Santino!
(((camer)))

November 2, 2006
2:28 pm
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santino
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Taj and Camer, you truelly helped me alot through this, I really appreicate all your wisdom. Thanks 🙂

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