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All about the truth of allaboutcounseling
September 25, 2009
2:53 am
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Paul Elam
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ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM IS ALL ABOUT ABUSE

Most of the mental health related “helping professions” e.g., psychotherapists, social workers, psychologists and counselors, have a code of ethics that guides their professional conduct. They are sworn, supposedly at the risk of their professional licenses, to follow the ethical mandates of that code in how they conduct their practices and in their relationships with clients.

The rules require them to maintain objectivity, to offer accurate information to the best of their ability and to act in the clients best interests at all times.

Failing to do that is considered professional abuse and is subject to sanctions. In most places, professionals are admonished to take all this into account regarding their professional affiliations as well.

In other words, aligning themselves with other professionals or organizations that act to the detriment of those ethical standards is strictly forbidden.

Why then, one must wonder, are there so many therapists that get client referrals though the website that operates under the name ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM?

ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM is on the surface a simple referral resource for helping people find mental health services, and for connecting mental health professionals to possible clients.

What is disturbing is that the site doubles as a tool for the political indoctrination of prospective clients. They weave information on mental health services with a pro-feminist and overtly anti-male agenda, and target that message at people who are logically presumed to be at highly vulnerable points in their lives.

ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM quotes statistics on issues like rape, sexual abuse, domestic violence and even alleged wage gap information. Almost all of it is wildly inaccurate and misleading, much of it without the benefit of research sources. Most of this “information” has been thoroughly debunked by sound and unbiased research so its presence on the site can only be interpreted as calculated to deceive.

For example, they state that half of all marriages experience domestic violence, a complete falsehood. The Centers for Disease Control put the percentage at less than one quarter, and many other valid studies point to even less frequency.

The site erroneously claims throughout in the information pages that it is almost exclusively women that are the victims of that violence and that the small fraction of women who are violent only commit that violence in self defense.

Women who are victims of violence are a serious problem, but they won’t be helped with deceptive propaganda that is designed more to indoctrinate than it is to help. And this is where ethical violations are quite clear.

ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM proffers a redundant message that demonizes men, and paints women as victims in every way imaginable. And intertwined with their entire body of false statistics and misleading statements are pitches for feminism, dangling the philosophy like a carrot before clients with the unmistakable implication that it is an integral part of the overall mental health picture for women.

Think about what that means. People come to the website, usually in enough emotional pain to make them vulnerable and impressionable, and rather than offering an objective, truthful and beneficial doorway into improved living, the authors of the site exploit that pain and vulnerability in order to further their own political agenda.

What would you think of a psychotherapist that implies to their clients that some of the solutions to their emotional difficulties are to be found in the Republican Party? How about a solution that tells people that saving the environment will also save their marriage?

That is precisely the approach taken by ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM

Political organizations and philosophies are not considered a valid form of mental health treatment by caring, objective and competent professionals. In fact, the truly professional and skilled in the field would never associate themselves with such practices.

This insanity needs to end, and that starts with the professionals who list their services in the ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM directory.

Following is a list of said clinicians (original article only) from the state of California, with their names and contact information as listed in the directory.

I will start with them, sending and email and a link to this article and an explanation of why they should divest themselves from ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM

It is hard to know how many of them are aware of the breeches in ethics on the site, but they will after being contacted.

September 25, 2009
6:47 am
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fantas
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Well, I'm sure you mean well but most of us here do not care about all of that. We are in emotional pain and need someone to talk to anonymously. I'm not sure about others but I have never been contacted by any mental health professionals. Considering out anonymity on this site, how would a professional get out names for referral without raising some serious red flags about the site.

If you are this offended by the site, why write on it in the first place?

September 25, 2009
8:01 am
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learning2luvme
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I am new to this but to me this site seems to be peaceful, yea there are trouble makers everwhere you go but the only way to fall victim is not to follow site rules.
This is a place people come to vent where we can get advice and help others. You really should keep your negative opinion to yourself. You might turn away someone who really needs to be here!

September 25, 2009
8:24 am
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lollipop3
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Somebody has WAY too much time on their hands.

Surely there must be something more to your life?

September 25, 2009
10:09 am
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atalose
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Paul Elam,

Since you don’t state that you are a professional I can only assume that your disruption on a “support thread” ranting your own agenda means you are NOT.

Please take YOUR agenda else where, it doesn’t belong here on the support threads.

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

September 25, 2009
10:50 am
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onlyboringontheoutside
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These are serious accusations. I strongly suggest that you take your concerns up directly with the site coordinator rather than spreading fear among the AAC community.

September 25, 2009
11:07 am
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mamacinnamon
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Paul Elam:

For someone who has researched this site you seem to spout a lot of falsehoods or you are not taking into consideration how the site seems (to me) to be set up.

This site is anonymous so there is no solicitations going on. A person can go to the directory and find a professional close to where they live, but the professional can only put their name out there to be seen. It is up to the professional whether or not to go w/ a free ad or to pay for better exposure, but the key is that the anonymous person is the one that does the choosing and contacting if any is done at all.

The articles and such given on the home page are not biased in my opinion. You say statistics for marital domestic violence are less than 1/4 based on the Centers of Disease Control. I don't doubt your information but I would like to ad that 10 organizations can put out 10 different statistics on the same subject. It's all dependent upon who they survey, the area surveyed, and how the questions are worded. That makes (to me anyway) most every survey false in some sense if it does not include in that survey the region, social level, educational levels, income, etc. as part of the survey.

You state a redundant message that demonizes men, and paints women as victims in every way imaginable. We have MANY men posters here and I find them to not be above or below any other person here. In fact, some folks here you have no clue if they are male or female. The posters here, whether male or female, have been very helpful to one another and not shown bias that I have seen.

You state there is a political agenda? Where?? If referring to the liberation side of this site then that is what that side is for. Liberations is for debate and discussion that might be offending to new posters here or for whatever posters find interesting to discuss or have a need to discuss w/ open debate.

That brings me to your posting being posted on the support side. You obviously have not researched this site well or you would have posted this in the liberation side. Your posting on the support side is in direct violation to the rules here.

This site is not made up as professionals. The posters here are every day folks just like me that are here to better themselves and to get help for problems that they do not want aired where they live. It is a warm and peaceful place most of the time. The site rules also state to take what you can use and leave the rest which is excellent advice for having such a wide range of posters here.

Lastly, if you are going to come to a site and desire to make trouble then finish your post. I, unfortunately, cannot see your list of professionls in California that you are sending letters to. Is that so nobody here can also send a letter to said professionals and refute your misgivings and slanders?

I do hope you will open your heart a little and look around at what is really going on here at this site. It is a place of anonymity, a place of refuge for those that have nowhere else to turn, and also a bit of fun and silliness on some threads just to give a soul a bit of peace for a few minutes. Come on over to the coffeehouse and we'll serve you up a cup of tea and partake in a bit of silliness together.

mamaC

September 25, 2009
11:43 am
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Notsure
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What I like is that you were able to post and that your post was left up for any and all to see.

The tone and tenor of your article would suggest removal by most site administrators.

The fact that your post is still up tells me that this is a balanced site where different viewpoints are tolerated.

While there may be some points that you have made that may be true (though I don't factually know) I have found this site is helpful and posters to be willing to assist even when the topics are difficult. Are the suggestions complete or educated? Not always, but most are given with sincerity and a genuine desire to help.

Regards, Notsure

September 25, 2009
12:21 pm
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Paul Elam
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@ Nosture

I am pretty sure the post won't remain after the admins discover it. They have already removed ALL of the email contacts for the therapists in their directory because they are afraid of my contacting more of them. (bad move as I can and will still do it)

In any event my efforts are not targeted as a derision toward those who post here, but rather the ideologues that manage the site.

For the others, I was indeed a licensed mental health professional for two decades, which is precisely why I am campaigning against this site. I can think of many other things to do, but actually doing something when I see a hateful agenda tied to mental health treatment provision seems to be one of the better choices. It beats watching Desperate Housewives and Dr. Phil.

And besides, I am an activist. Making time for these matters is what I do, and I hardly consider it wasted.

Since this is an anonymous forum, I don't think my post infringes on anyones ability to share information with each other nor would I stoop to make a persons personal struggles public if I could.

BUT, Nosture, if I have made points that are true, then I would have to wonder why that is of no consequence to you, or not of enough concern to investigate.

Indeed I wonder why anyone would read the information presented on this site and not be totally offended by it. Of course we each decide our own values and make our own trade offs.

Personally, patronizing a website that lies to its readers is not a choice I would make in order to share problems with others. There are way too many online resources for that already available that don't engage in such deceptions.

September 25, 2009
1:12 pm
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lollipop3
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I'm hard pressed to believe that your motives are altruistic.

Sounds like more of a personal vendetta to me.

Actually sounds quite familiar in fact....

September 25, 2009
1:15 pm
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onlyboringontheoutside
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I am puzzled. What action are you hoping to be taken based on your feedback, Paul?

September 25, 2009
1:16 pm
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onlyboringontheoutside
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Lollipop, perhaps I should change my nickname to boringontheoutsidebutreallynaiveontheinside!

You just might be right if I catch your drift.

September 25, 2009
2:13 pm
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lollipop3
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Or perhaps....boringontheoutsidebutfunnyontheinside. LOL

September 25, 2009
2:32 pm
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Anam Cara
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Paul Elam - Are you trying to get this site shut down?

Truth - can we take the truth one might ask?

What would you replace this site with?

The site supervisor in my humble opinion should let this thread play on then you can see what values we hold for Allabout

September 25, 2009
5:06 pm
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onlyboringontheoutside
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(((Lollipop)))

September 25, 2009
5:09 pm
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Shonda
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Mybe the inaccuracy is because the stats they use are so old. There from 1994? Maybe men are reporting abuse more than they did 15 years ago?

I put this nick in a search engine and it lead me to a website that has the same article.

September 25, 2009
5:20 pm
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Healing.. and peace
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Respectfully and Kindly Paul Elam,

I would offer the suggestion to take your complaints up with the S.C., and then have to ask why would you make a point of posting your feelings and your opinion on this site as a thread.

Hmm.... maybe you've posted in the past and was asked to leave, maybe you just don't like what you have read in some of the threads, but nonetheless, this site has helped many people (Men and Women) young and old, so if you have a problem with the advertising on the site, I suppose it is something that you can talk to someone about, as I don't see it as a problem at all. If I were to choose to see a professional in my area, I wouldn't look on this site for a recommendation, I would ask my Primary Doctor, or a hospital for a referral.

My best to you, and hope your able to work out the problems or distress you've found with this site can be worked out. Maybe talking about it here might even help.

September 25, 2009
5:55 pm
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onlyboringontheoutside
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Shonda, I did the same, and I found links to pages that just pulsate with rage, fueld by the perception that the counseling craft as a whole has been corrputed by the the negative influence of feminism.

Just one excerpt from one of the pages:

=================

"Having the unusual notion that it was more my job to counsel addicts than to neuter men and worship women, it often put me at odds with the prevailing powers. Never subscribing to the adage 'If you can't beat em, join 'em,' I fought. In many ways I got my ass kicked. The old saying goes, you can't fight city hall. That may be true, but it's nothing compared to fighting titty hall. Not even close. Eventually I left, watching what was left of professional treatment go down in flames like Rome."

=================

AAC is probably just one of many sites that have irked this individual. ALLABOUTCOUNSELING.COM in all caps throughout the post is a dead giveaway that we're the recipients of a form letter, even if it's a rather nasty one. *laugh*

September 25, 2009
5:56 pm
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onlyboringontheoutside
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And someday, I will learn to spell, too!

September 25, 2009
6:23 pm
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Hepburn
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Yes, the original post sounds VERY familiar to me too.

September 25, 2009
6:47 pm
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andii
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What is this "you sound familiar thing?' that happens on these threads? Is this an another accusation of using more than one nickname or coming back after being banned or meeting others off the site? Because you know, those accusations can hurt people, not just the ones that they are directed to, but people here, like armyleo. Read her thread. These accusations undermine what people are doing. If somebody posts something inflammatory it doesn't mean that poster is twinks, free, tree_hugs4life, needingtoheal, enough_already or anybody else who has enraged people.

So can we just drop the "you're familiar!" "about so and so's nickname", "I know who YOU are!" etc etc etc. None of us know who anybody else is unless the somebody we're talking about TELLS US.

And Paul Elam did. He is in fact an activist. "A Voice for Men" is the title on his web page. Google him. He's there.

September 25, 2009
6:56 pm
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andii
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@Paul Elam

I read through your site. It's interesting. It reminds of the so called men's rights groups who advocate Garner's Parental Alienation Syndrome. This "syndrome" is not accepted by the American Psychiatric Association but has been used in courts against abused women. Abusive men have gained custody of children due to this syndrome men's rights groups created, a syndrome that doesn't even exist. Consequently many abused women remain silent throughout their divorce and send their children to the abusive father for visitation without objection in an effort to minimize the damage he can, will, and does inflict.

I could write a great deal on this but I would likely bore most if it was read at all.

Specifically, what is your motive for posting here?

That is a fair question and it seems your motive is to undermine this site and promote your own.

andii

September 25, 2009
8:22 pm
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andii
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I think it should be noted that many so called men's rights groups and men's rights activists promote themselves as victims of a biased court system used by women to gain an upper hand in divorce and custody disputes. In some cases this is probably fact, as all good things can and will be abused by those who invest the energy to do so.

It does seem however, that non-abusive men, good men, don't have an issue with the court system, or the feminist movement. Good men don't feel threatened. Good men don't view women as stripping them of their assets, they view the division of assets as just that- a division of what was accumulated and built together. Assets don't belong to the primary breadwinner, they belong equally to both members of the marriage or domestic partnership and are thus divided equally upon separation.

It doesn't appear that good men accuse the mother's of their children of using children as pawns. Abusive men make these accusations, as this is PRECISELY what abusive men do- use children as pawns to further their obsession to control and abuse the mothers of their children.

Ah yes, Mr. Elam. You certainly have sparked MY interest and I would enjoy conversing with you. Yet you seem to have disappeared.

This thread has NOT however, disappeared, as you predicted it would.

I ask again: specifically, what is your motive for posting here, as it appears your motive is to undermine this site and promote your own. Your own: a site filled with rage towards women and the legal system, a site where abusive men can find camaraderie and gain momentum, a site as anti-female as it claims the feminist movement to be anti-male.

Again, this is a fair question.

I await your reply.

andii

September 25, 2009
8:36 pm
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thewall
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g dude, is this you again?
or is it worried dad???

September 25, 2009
8:50 pm
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andii
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oh Good grief. It's Paul Elam. Do you need the specific website address that you can just copy and paste?

Paul Elam did not use an anonymous nickname. He used his actual name.

GOOGLE IT. GOOGLE PAUL ELAM versus accusing people of using multiple nicks. This will take approximately 2 calories and use the energy of a couple brain cells.

argh.

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