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alicat - open seseme! lol
October 7, 2005
9:53 pm
human drama
New Member
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
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I have posted on previous post to you about the walls. Sorry for it running on - I was trying to hurry up as I needed to go pick my brother up. I hope you find this as insightful as I do. I have felt the energy field of angered co's and know I project into the fear zone. When I feel the fear I feel it in my knees and occasionally experience trembling. How about you? Have you had any similar experience with these concepts? What type of office work do you do?
ps) You live next door to your father?
you must be very good at not letting the circumstance interfer with your day to day life. My father is dead 20 years. He still lives in some of my issues - naturally.
And so does my Mother, also deceased.
It is hubby's dad that I moved away from and siblings ( all but my brother )
Speaking of which - interesting how you and your brother saw the situation so differantly! write back after you digest the walls! Thanks Alot

October 8, 2005
8:42 am
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Forum Posts: -1
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September 24, 2010
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my dad does share a wall with me - it's not bad now - I have actually spent years working on learning to "deflect" him.

I was actually pretty good at it, and that was why I felt I could live so close and still be around him - the abuse was only once a week or so.

but then I realized how much energy it took to "deflect" him when he got going, that I decided to focus that energy elsewhere....and started staying away....then the guilt started cuz my mom is now in what I call, "suicide mode" where she is sleeping all the time and can't function - but that's not my issue or problem.

so now that I don't see him every day, he bottles up a whole week or more worth of anger towards me and the SECOND I see him, he lets it loose, no more slipping into the manipulation, he just jumps right in on it....

so I just walk away and shut my door if I can....lately it's escalated to him telling me he outright hates me - which I know is not true - he hates himself - he was having a bad day and I was the first available punching bag....I was cooking outside, and had to listen to it - and as soon as I could, got inside and shut the door...haven't had time to be around him since.

I will read the post you sent...thanks.

yeah, I have held the thought that for 32 years my brother had it all - all teh freedom, all the rights, all the priveledges - and all along he thought they loved me more cuz I went to college and they cared enough to have rules for me - they paid attention to me - they didn't pay attention to him.

was an interesting talk we had.

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